Tainted Dawn Book V
by catherinedoncaster1995
Summary: The fifth book in my saga, see the trailers on you tube, link on my profile. As the voltui come to tkae edward, the common enemy of all, will untie the odest of foes. Love conquers all, and dreams are shattred
1. Reunions

Bella POV

I stirred awake by the sound of my son crying. I groaned and stood up, wiping ht tears from my eyes and walking towards his bedroom. The house felt so empty without Edward in it, but not nearly as empty as my chest did.

When he left when I was human, from what I could remember of it, it was like a huge hole had been punched through my chest. Now was the same.

Only now it was like I was the hole, I was hollow, an endless void of loss.

I sniffed and was about to push open the door to my sons room when I heard muffled voices from inside... just one voice, and it was too low for me to really make out.

I froze and grew stiff as I listened to the voice comfort my son. I suppressed a growl as I imagined a stranger holding my son. I reached blindly for something to wield as a weapon, quite what I was hoping to do with it I and no idea but still.

My hand clasped around the lamp behind me and I brought it around in both of my hands, I pushed open the door gently with my shoulder, and growled, swinging my arms and hitting the offender around the back of the head with it.

Glass went everywhere and the offender spun, chuckling and grabbing both my hands as I went to tackle him.

I froze when I saw his eyes.

"Easy love." He breathed.

I couldn't move, not even when he smiled and moved my arms around his waist, pulling me gently into a hug.

"Its okay love." He whispered and it was only then I realised that I was crying. He pulled me tightly to him and it was then I broke down. I sobbed and rubbed my face into his chest for a good ten minutes before I calmed down, and another half an hour after that before I fully understood just how he was back.

Our son stirred in his cot and I sniffed, pulling away to bend to pick him up. I shushed him and Edwards hand rubbed the base of my spine gently.

"This is Charlie, Charlie Edward Masen Cullen. Your son." I told him and handed him back to him.

Edward smiled down at his boy, "Charlie?"

I swallowed, "I hope you don't mind."

He chuckled and Handed me back our son, before leading me to sit with my son in my arms in his lap on the large armchair in the corner of the room.

"He'd be very proud of you you know." He whispered after a few minutes of just looking at our son.

"Who?" I asked in confusion.

He kissed my temple, "Your father. He'd be as proud of you as I am."

I turned my head to look at him, smiling brilliantly.

"I love you." I whispered.

He beamed, "I love you to, my wife."

We kissed for a good few minutes, before he politely reminded me that I did have a new born baby in my arms, and in our sons best interests, we should save it for later.

When Charlie was down for a nap we started making dinner. It was indescribable, the feeling of having him back home, and safe.

As safe as he could be with only six months to think of a good plan to stop the Volturi form killing us all...

But I was determined not to over think that. He had told me that he would protect me, and I was dammed if I was going to just watch them take him again.

I would fight for him, for everyone in our family needed him, not just me.

He turned on the radio and we both began to sing along to some song from decades ago. I supposed it would have been called a 'golden oldie' and most of the people as familiar with it as we were, were well into their fifties.

"Do you remember where we were when this sing came out, when we heard it for the first time?" He asked from behind me suddenly as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind to slide his hands into the front pockets of my jeans.

I smiled and reached to put the carrots into the pan which I was trying to make soup in, Edward being his distracting self, was making it harder than necessary.

"Well?" He persisted and paced a soft kiss on my neck, moving my hair out of the way to do so.

"We were in San Francisco, on our one hundredth anniversary." I whispered and he beamed against the side of my throat.

It was just then the front door opened and everyone came piling in from shopping with their 'favourite' aunt. They were all stating to ask wheat was for dinner when all five of them froze, staring at either their father, father in law or prospective thereof.

"Hey?" He chuckled just as his daughters launched themselves at him. The force was such that he was knocked away from me and onto the floor. Edward was being careful of Aimee as he hugged them all back.

"Miss me much?" He laughed and Ness gave him a good dig in the ribs.

"You are such and arse honestly." She cried happily and hugged him tight, before letting go so he could hug Ellie and then his two boys. Only one was related to him genetically, but it did not matter, in our eyes, Chris was our son, a part of the family, just as Aimee was our daughter.

"I missed you dad." Ant said quietly and Edward smiled sadly at me, who was trying so hard not to cry. He patted him on the back as they broke away.

"I missed you to my boy."

After dinner was finished and everyone was making their way to bed, Ellie caught me on the landing. I knew what she was going to ask, and I tried to dodge her, but she caught my arm.  
"You need to tell him mum." She stated.

I swallowed, "I just want one day, where everyone is happy..."

"If you don't someone else will." She said and hugged me before going to bed.

The worst pat about the whole thing was that I knew she was right. That Edward deserved to know.

I sat down on the edge of the bed cross legged, playing with my fingers in my lap as he came and sat next to me.  
"What's the matter?" he asked quietly and I glanced at him.

"Just promise you won't freak out okay." I whispered.

He nodded, but I doubted it would mean anything at all once he knew the truth.

"When we arrived back... Jacob he... he tried to... have his way with me." I tried to put his delicately, but Edwards face became like stone faster than i had time to register.  
"What?" He snarled and went to stand up but I caught him and pulled him to lie on his back on the bed. He was curing and growling so I moved to straddle his chest, locking his hands in my own like fetters by his head.

"Get off me..." He growled, "I'm going to kill him."

I frowned, "You can't."

"Why not?" He demanded and I sighed.  
"Because he's already dead."


	2. Teachers and Telepathy

Edward POV

Although the threat Marcus had told me about how long it would take the Volturi to act had troubled me, and the thought of an alliance with the wolves angered me. Bella's news three days ago had almost elated my spirits.

The thought of Jacob rotting in a coffin six feet under being eaten by maggots was oddly thrilling. Not that there was anything remotely funny about death, it was _his_ death that was satisfying.

It would have been more satisfying had it been _me_ who had killed him.

But when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

And crap I was going to make some fine lemonade with my wife. We had been doing often since my return, and as if night time wasn't enough, with Bella sleeping now was a half human vampire, we were having to find other ways to fill the slots.

I couldn't help but make a mental note, almost proudly of all the settings for our extracurricular activities as we walked hand in hand through school towards lunch. Bella seemed to know what I was thinking, and I could tell that if she was human, she would have been blushing.

We were about to round the corner towards the cafeteria when we were stopped by the overly flirtatious Spanish teacher.

She looked at me over the top of her needles and just for show glasses as she spoke.

"Mr Cullen can I speak to you for a second." She tried to purr. I couldn't help but feel more intimate towards Bella as my mind wandered over how a _real_ woman could purr.

My wife stood on my foot to stop me from letting out a very embarrassing and maybe slightly animalistic noise I could feel building in my chest.

"Sure."I replied, and thank fully she did not notice the almost strangled way I said it. Bella lifted her shield and reprimanded me mentally, as we followed her the other way to her office.

She seemed at first displeased that Bella had joined us, and this would have angered me, had I not found the glare on Bella's face so much of a turn on.

I told myself to focus and was about to followed the teacher in when Bella caught my arm where she was been told to wait outside.

"What?" I asked.

Her eyes darted towards the office as mine did where the teacher was sat behind her desk pretending to be looking at the computer. It was in fact turned off, and it was her nails drumming on the desk as well as her impatient thoughts that told me she was simply waiting for me to enter.

"Flirt with her." My wife said.

My eyes went wide in my head, was I mad as well as horny right now?

"Flirt, with, her." Bella said at a slower pace.

I thought my eyes were going to fall out of my head, "Are you insane?" I hissed and she hushed my hurriedly.

"Mr Cullen?" Miss Sharp called in what she assumed was a sexy voice from her office.

"I don't like to be kept waiting." She finished.

"One minute please." I called and she muttered a curse under her breath, then something rude about Bella, which I tried so very hard to ignore.

"Wow she really is desperate." Bella muttered and I smirked at her.  
"Just flirt with her, then we can sue her for child harassment."

I groaned, "You need to stop watching Law and Order."

She glared at me and I started back tracking.

"Even if I _did_ do it..." I sighed, "I don't know _how_ to flirt."

She folded her arms, "_Every_ teenage boy knows how to flirt Edward."

"Okay, you want to see flirting, how about this.. oi hotty, you're so fine I wish I could plant and grow a whole lot of ya's." I said in a gangster accent, the whole thing was very sarcastic and Bella raised her eyebrows at me.

"And I wondered why you never wanted to play charades at Christmas..." She said.

I was about to make a very sarcastic remark to her when Miss Sharp called again.  
"Mr Cullen I don't want to punish you..."

Bella growled and went to storm in there when I caught her in my arms.

"I'll show her... thirty year old slut..." My wife growled and I hushed her, standing her on the floor and holding the tops of her arms, my fingers almost touched in the middle of the back.

That's just how long my fingers were...

Focus Edward.

"Alright alright, I'll do it your way... now stay here and be good." I warned and she kissed me quickly, before I walked into the office.

Miss was sat on the desk, legs folded and supporting herself with one hand. She had her glasses in the other, biting the end of one of the sticky out bits between her teeth.

"You want to see me, miss Sharp?" I started with the easily crappest sentences I had ever said.

She raised one of her eyebrows suggestively and looked me over.

"Oh yes." She breathed.

I heard a muffled curse about the teacher from outside and I sighed quietly, better just to get it over and done with. If anyone was going to be good at flirting, it was me.

A famous ladies man, heart throb adored by many, worshiped by my wife, and capable of lying to anyone. Why _shouldn't_ I be able to flirt.

I chuckled and ran a hand through my hair as I walked slowly over to her.  
"You know it's funny, I find it hard to believe that anything as smooth as you..." I was in front of her now, my eyes smouldering into hers.

"I find it hard to believe that _you_ could be sharp." I breathed and lay my cool hand gently over hers.

She gasped slightly at the touch, and I hoped to play that to my advantage, the temperature differences that is, not her hormonal imbalance.

"Your hot..." I breathed and her heart gave an unhealthy splutter. She leant in towards me and her legs went to snake around my waist when I decided I had had enough.

"Miss what are you doing?" I cried and shot backwards at human speed, even stumbling slightly to give it the full effect.

I was slightly regretful, I should have taken a drama final not Spanish.

"But you..." She spluttered and straightened her hair but not her composure out, "You flirted with me."

"Yeh because I thought you were going to give me extra credit not a blow job!" I shouted just as Mr Green came running in.

"What is going on here?" He shouted and I looked at him anxiously.

"She harassed me." I accused and his eyes narrowed, falling on the shaken teacher and my perfect facade.  
"I'll see you in my office Miss Sharp." He boomed and turned to leave. I followed, not at all sorry for what we had done to the teacher. Everyone in the school knew she abused or sexually threatened many teenage boys and girls alike.

Mr green had in fact known it, he just needed proof, and what better than catching it red handed. I had my wife to thank for that.

We walked hand in hand into the cafeteria and were greeted by a standing ovation from our family.

Everyone looked at us like we were insane, and I supposed to them we were. It was nearer the truth than some of the other thoughts people had had about us.

The real spider man... honestly.

Bella arms snaked around my waist as our family chatted at us, and I turned to look down into her warm gold eyes as she smiled up at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You can flirt." She assured me and pressed her lips to mine.

If only you could achieve extra credit for _everything_ you do in school.


	3. Flirtation Nation

Bella POV

I was sat in Edward lap where we were at lunch. I was enjoying married life immensely at the moment; let's say its peaks, well, we more common than its dips.

I and Edward had managed to have sex more than once every school day, and I was only counting from nine till four. The other times we were at home, and were running free.

_Running_ behind the operative word but I was determined to keep my thoughts of the PG variety.

He ran his hand down my leg to gold over my calf, giving a gentle squeeze.

It may have been the wool Versace dress I was wearing, but I _definitely_ got hot in a lot of places.

"Can we go do some revision yet?" He moaned in my ear and I glared at him. It was all very well and good having sex every two hours, but I was not going to follow him around like a French maid, giving in to his every whim.

And I had been a very good French maid in my time.

"Oh honey... we _could_ do that... but you haven't even complimented me on what I'm wearing today." I pouted and his eyes clouded with surprise and a small dose of disappointment.

I gave a small celebratory cheer in my head when he did not spot my lie. The truth was on several occasions during the day Edward had commented on my dress, the most times being when it was hanging on the janitors broom in the closet but that was just a detail.

"How about this." Edward offered, "If I tell you that you have beautiful body will you... _hold_ it against me."

I went close to feverish but managed to keep myself in check. I shook my head and he frowned, scanning through his head for what I assumed was another chat up line.

However he did not say anything, instead he shifted to remove my feet from my shoes, and began to massage hem gently with his hands through my tights.  
"What are you doing?" I tried not to moan in pleasure.

"Your feet must be tired." He stated and I looked at him in confusion.

His eye came back to mine and he leant his head in close so his breath fanned across my face.

"They must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day long." He whispered.

I scoffed and slid my feet back into my heels, before taking my bag and standing up.

"You're going to have to do better than that lover boy." I said and blew him a kiss before turning to walk out of the cafeteria.

However when I realised his eyes were still on me, I decided to have some fun.

"This is how you flirt." I said, well aware that he could hear.

I marched over to the table where all the hormonal jocks in letterman sweaters sat. They all stopped eating and started up at me as I beamed at them, feeling my eyes smoulder.

"Hello boys." I purred and they all gaped.

It was a solid minute before one of them found it within their minuscule brains, the ability of speech.

"What can we do for you Bella?" He choked out, eyes about a foot lower on my body than my chin.

I heard Alice whisper a word of warning to Edward, who was growling profanities and threats at the boy. In translation he was very polity asking him to please avert his gaze form my chest.

If you believe that you'll believe anything.

"Now don't be rude to the lady Rick... hey I'm Mike, we haven't met but I think I've seen your picture before." His friend said, having a go at flirting with me, you can't blame a boy for trying.

"You have?" I asked almost sceptically.

"Yeh... oh I've got it now, it was in the dictionary, next to _Pwhaorh." _Mike wiggled his eyebrows and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I was more than aware that Edward was being _restrained _in his seat by Emmet and Jasper, so I had to cut this short.

Unfortunately, the other boys had other ideas.

"That's not how you flirt Mike, observe." Rick, the boy who spoke to me originally started ogling me.

"Do you have a phone?" He asked me.

I frowned, "of course.  
"Well then you'd better phone the cops because it _has_ to be illegal to look that good." He purred and I winced at his smarmy words.

All his friends cheered and a thought crossed my mind as to whether they were drunk.

"No wait a minute, wait a minute... Bella you know I work part time at Mc Donald's right?" Anthony boy, Mark, asked.

I nodded, not entirely sure how he thought that was going to impress me, but was willing to let him try anything once.  
"Well I've seen the way your bootie moves when you walk, how about some fries to go with that shake." Mark said and everyone roared with laughter.

I folded my arms and I didn't need to be Edward to see that they were all trying to think of ways to keep me standing there. Rather than going back to Edward, which it seemed I was getting more and more drawn to as the seconds ticked by.

Another boy, Aaron spoke up, "How about some help over here, I seem to have lost all feeling in my lips."

I scoffed and turned around only to be caught in a set of string arms and dipped like women in flouncy blouses were in old movies. I giggled and hooked my arms around his neck and started into his perfect face.

"I find 'I love you' works as well anything." He breathed and I leant up to touch my lips to his.

He set me on my feet and we wrapped one arm around each other waist, sliding our hands into their back pockets as we walked through the cafeteria into the corridor, leaving some very disgruntled teenage boys behind us.

Edward chuckled suddenly as I lent my head against his arm.

I looked up at him with narrowed eyes, "What?"

"Here me out?" He asked as we stopped by my locker, me nodding as I got my books.  
"Just give me one pick up line you would use?" He laughed and I swatted him with my books, he could be so immature. He looked at me pleadingly and I sighed.

"Hello my names Bella and I really want to limbo under your coconut tree." I stated.

Edwards smile faded, "You came up with that very quickly."

I shrugged and turned away from him, biting my lip and squealing as he growled and flung me over his shower, carrying me like a sack of potatoes towards biology.  
"Don't think I won't be pushing you for that later?" He snarled in my ear as he set me in my seat.

I giggled and bit his ear lobe quickly.  
"I'll hold you to that." I whispered and we pulled away just as the teacher walked in.


	4. Boys Day Drama

Edward POV

I was wondering through the house like the cloud, as if I was among a host of friendly daffodils, and as such was my boredom that I found myself reciting words worth in my head. Days without my wife really were _dull_.

So dull in fact, that it was these days that I found myself wishing Jacob was alive and available for me to kill him, just so I would have something to do.

It was also days like this when I was able to panic incessantly about the Volturi coming for me. Alice had said that Marcus had been right, that they had decided to give us six months minimum to either surrender me or they would take action. They knew nothing of what Marcus had told me of them coming to get me, or our plan for my family to take them down.

Of course we would need help for that, and I and Chris had been privately discussing the full moons and possibilities of making a truce with the werewolves. The treaty was shaky enough without having world war three on the cards.

I met Chris on the landing; he was sat in the doorway to his and Ness's room, trying to fold up towels. "You okay there?" I laughed and he smirked at me.

"It's not as easy as it looks you know." He informed me.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm over two centuries old; I _do_ know how to fold a towel." I said and sat down beside him, folding them up at human pace.

"I don't know why your doing it anyway, I normally do stuff like this while your all asleep." I told him.

He shrugged, "if just like to help out, say thanks to you guys for keeping me."

I rolled my eyes, "you're not our pet Chris."

He looked at me evenly, "you know what I mean."

I smiled and stood up with an armful of towels, before leading him to the bathroom where we stacked them neatly.

"There." I said and we hi fived, "A job well done."

He smiled, "So what are you doing today, not that you can do much _daddy_." He mocked and I beamed at the very mention of my new born son.

I shrugged, "Nothing really, I fi were human I suppose I would order Pizza and have a boys day, or just stay in bed."

Chris was thoughtful for a minute, "Bella's not here, why don't we eat Pizza _in_ the bed."

I laughed but the stopped, "_we_?"

"Yeh, a boys day, me and my brothers and my dad used to have them all the time." He told me and I frowned. My experience with boys days and evenings were ones that I would like to forget. Emmet and Jaspers personalities did _not_ complement one another, well they did, they just didn't compliment _me_.

Jasper seemed to be quiet and reserved, but he was forever twenty one, and you didn't have to be a rocket scientist to see the cons of that.

Emmet was in my own opinion forever _six,_ meaning he was obsessive over anything that so much as sparkled. I remembered once hearing that opinion with Bella, who had made a comment about us being vampires with disco balls, and then being puzzled about the fact that we couldn't work in the dark. My wife had the capacity to confuse herself, and I loved her for it.

"A boys afternoon, XBOX and movies... nothing loud to disturb Charlie, just like a lazy afternoon?" Chris amended and I smiled.

"Okay." I said and he beamed, leaving for his and Ness's room to gather all of his _equipment_, all _I_ need to do was get my son. It was my unspoken fear that somehow Emmet and Jasper would find out, they could practically _smell_ parties a mile away; my theory went it was an un-recorded vampire ability they both possessed.

I sighed and walked towards the kitchen, meeting Anthony in the door. My soon gasped and grabbed a nearby apple to hold in front of his area, which was only clothes in boxers.

"Get dressed." I said firmly and walked away from him and up the stairs towards my other son's room, where I had left him sleeping peacefully.

"Well what If I don't want to, don't you think it's slightly unreasonable to make me have no privacy." Anthony demanded, pulling on a t-shirt that had been hanging on the radiator. He also dressed himself in his jeans behind me as I leant over my sons crib to check he was okay.

His face was so content I couldn't help but run my knuckle down his soft cheek as he slept. He squirmed slightly and I smiled to myself, eh look so much like his mother, it was scary. With her hair but my cheeks, and when he occasionally opened them, my human eyes. All of our children seemed to be different, which was wonderful, all of them perfect mixes of me and their mother.

I sighed when Anthony started speaking again.

"Well?" He demanded and I walked past him and into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. I looked at him simply as he glared at me.

"You want Privacy, buy your own house." I started and walked back down stairs, more than satisfied my youngest child was fine. I had promised Bella I could check on him every half an hour, it wasn't that she thought I was a bad parent, in truth I would probably have done it anyway.

Our son had caught a minor cold, and wasn't sleeping very well, meaning I was away from my wife during most of the night tending to him.

That had been why Bella had not wanted to go shopping today, she felt she already was missing too much time with him as she was sleeping at night. A fact she was having a hard time adjusting to, unlike eating. She had taken to this easily again, and was cooking more extravagant things for our children as a result. Not something I heard them complaining about.

I walked into the lounge and sat on the sofa, tuning on the TV and not looking away from it as Anthony continued to shout at me.

"So you'd like me to leave would you?" He demanded.

I shrugged in response, he was over reacting, and if I had learnt anything from centuries of watching parents, and especially Esme deal with children, meaning Emmet. It was that children often wore themselves out of a tantrum when they weren't getting a lot of attention.

If anything, Anthony was working _up_ to it.

"Well I'm not going." He said and spun, tuning off the bears game on TV which caused a growl from me. I looked away from what he was doing by the stereo to check my buzzing phone, it was my wife.

"Heya Love?" I said and Anthony groaned, me shooting him a look that told him plainly to shut up if he valued his life.

"Hey, how's Charlie?" She asked anxiously and I heard Renesmee tell her to calm down on the other end of the line.

I sighed, "He's fine, although I could tell he's missing you."

Her voice perked up slightly, "Really?"

I smiled, "Really, and I'll tell you someone else who misses you?"

"Chris?" She asked almost hopefully and I scowled when Anthony laughed. If he was going to listen to my telephone calls, I was going to give him something to listen to.

"You're going to do what..." I asked down the phone in an almost moan of a voice and Anthony froze, cringing slightly.

"What?" Bella asked in confusion on the other end of the phone.

I carried on, "Oh you know I like that..."

"I didn't say anything..." She started but I could almost hear when she pieced it all together.

"Is Anthony listening?" She guessed.

I glanced to see my son holding the sides of his head like he was having a brain hemerage.

"Oh yes." I moaned and Bella giggled.

"Anyway I was calling because Alice says not to worry about the game on TV, The bears are going to lose meaning you owe Emmet five dollars. Ye love you." She said and hung up.

I muttered something intangible and rummaged through my pockets for five dollars, setting it on the coffee table with my phone, to remind me to give it to Emmet when he predictably turned up the very second the final whistle was blown.

It was then my attention was drawn back to my son, mouth hanging open at what he was doing, just as Dream girls filled the house.

**Heya guys, hope you are enjoying it so far, there is a video link on my profile to the way Anthony dances for Edward. Its from the fresh prince of Bel air, Anthony being Will Smith, Edward Uncle Phil.**

**ENJOY! xxx**


	5. Announcements

Edward POV

"What do you mean it's not your turn to make the Coffee this is start bucks." The pimple incrusted teen yelled from the other side of the counter. I groaned when he started shouting at the other youth. What the hell was so complicated about making coffee?

I wasn't sure what was annoying me more, the fact that I wasn't human and could still do it, or the _fact_ that I wasn't even going to drink it myself!

Eventually I got so pissed that I grabbed the front of the he boy's shirt and practically dragged him over the counter to stare into my eyes.

"if you don't serve everyone in this queue within the next ten minutes I'm going to buy you in my garden and watch as your eaten by worms... got it?"

He swallowed and nodded, grabbing me my daughter's coffee and shrugging out of my grip.

"Thank you." I smirked as walked out of the shop, cursing as I climbed into the Volvo and handed Ellie her Cappuccino.

"Thank you." She said and turned up the stereo as I drove us to school.

It must have been my inner teenager making an appearance, for I was even more displeased at having to drive my daughter round than I had been staying at home with my son and almost son in law.

Esme was looking after Charlie, she had volunteered, so I couldn't even use _that_ as an escape goat.

With the spring fling coming up my daughter had thought it would be a really great idea to audition boys to be her date, seen as she was still single.

I couldn't understand what he problem was with being single, as her father I thought it suited her really well, and I couldn't stress that point enough.

Even though it seemed that I _did_ indeed stress it too much, and was told so repeatedly by Bella and my daughters.

"Remind me again why I'm coming?" I asked just as we pulled up to traffic lights, a boy from our year on his bike pulling dangerously close to my car alongside.

I glared at him from the corner of my eye as my daughter answered with enthusiasm, complete with hand gestures and facial expressions.

The cyclist raised his eyebrows at me and rand his hand over the rim of my wing mirror, leaving a trail of sweat gleaming on the silver paint.

My eyes narrowed and he smirked at me, turning to look straight ahead.

"Dad are you even listening?" Ellie demanded, smacking me on the shoulder.

I didn't take my eyes away from the cyclists helmet, and I was _sure_ he knew I was staring at him, for he adjusted his fingers on the handle so two of them were quite obviously pointing at me.

"Dad?" My daughter demanded.

"You see this cyclist?" I asked, both avoiding to question and eye contact.

I could almost sense my daughter frown, "What about him?"

"He keeps giving me dirty looks." I mused and she scoffed.

"So?"

I sighed and looked at her with a smile on my face.

"_So_, when this light turns to green I'm going to test just how good his balance is." I told her and her eyes went wide, even more so when the light went to amber and I pressed my foot down slightly onto the accelerator.

The cyclist wobbled on his bike and swallowed as the roar of my engine made him jump. I chuckled and shot forwards, leaving him for dead in a cloud of my engine fumes.  
"Dad that's just... ugh..." My daughter huffed and rolled her eyes.

I chuckled and we pulled up at school, her jumping up and opening up the hall for the ever growing line of boys outside. I groaned and followed her in.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

After three and a half hours of cheesy chat up lines and me deflecting every boy who came to call, we were finally finished. How some of those guys had managed to tear themselves away form the XBOX was beyond me, sure they were physically in the gym, but mentally they were _definitely_ playing Black ops or whatever it was.

Some of my personal favourite quotes from the boys mouths were as follows.

"I'm a stallion, and I think it's time to saddle up."

"I suggest you better write your number down before I don't want it anymore."

"I noticed you noticing me, and I just wanted you to notice, that I noticed you to."

"But you know whatever you are serving; you'd better give me a double."

"Oh you're so hot, I'd marry your mother just to get in your family."

I frowned as we climbed back in the car and Ellie immediately got her phone out, texting someone I was unsure I even wanted to know who it was.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked as we were driving past the Old Newton outfitter store.

She smiled at me, although her eyes were nervous, "Sure?"

"What have you been doing every night this week?" I asked, my body tense and eyes on the road.

She blinked, "Pardon?"

The question had caught her off guard, for she had convinced herself that I was going to criticise all the boys we had spent the afternoon _interviewing_, she needn't have worried, I was working up to that.

"Where have you been every night this week?" I demanded, "You've missed dinner and curfew twice and you've been falling asleep in class I _want_ an explanation."

She swallowed and her brain started buzzing.  
"_And_ you deserve one..." She floundered and my eyes narrowed.  
"And you'll _get_ one... and there _is_ one, and incredible one... that I can give you next week?" She offered.

"What?" I growled, pretending I had heard wrong.  
She laughed nervously, "But of course I want to _see_ next week..."

I was about to prod or threaten her for more when my phone rang. I mumbled something with a curse in it and answered.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Edward you need to turn around and meet us at the mall you have a tux fitting." My wife said excitedly.

I frowned, "Why I have my tux for the spring fling."

She squealed, "Not for that for Chris and Renesmee's wedding."

The phone went tight in my hand.

"What?" I snarled.

My wife let out a shriek of excitement and the phone bit the dust when she screamed at me.

"They've set a date, they're getting _married_!"


	6. Mall of Mayhem

Edward POV

Bella looked at me with disappointed eyes as I paced around the car park of Seattle Mall. The place was basically deserted, which gave me enough room to vent my anger without being oppressed by the thought of being exposed.

"I mean it's not even like Anthony's been long down the aisle..." I all but shouted and kicked the wheel of my Volvo, leaving a dent. In fact I was lucky the sashay hadn't broken under the force of the motion, Rosalie wouldn't thank me for that later.

"Edward will you clam down..." Bella started but I was already growling so much I thought I was going to break my teeth they were grinding together so hard.

"You _knew_ though didn't you, _knew_ they'd been talking about it, tell me the truth." I accused and she sighed, walking over and taking my face in her hands gently.

"You're scared of losing her... _that's_ the truth." She whispered and my resolve snapped in that instant, because I knew she was right, that was the one thing I hated about my wife more than anything. She was always right.

I sighed and took her in my arms gently, burying my face in her hair.

"I just can't believe she's getting married." I all but groaned and Bella laughed, pulling back to kiss my cheek. He thumb ran over my cheek and she smiled up at me.

"Come on then, you need to be fitted." She said and took my hand, pulling me towards the building.

I scoffed, "it's not like I don't have suits that would be perfectly _fine_."

"this is for your daughter's _wedding_ Edward." She snarled and I groaned.

"Don't remind me."

It came out more like a beg, but still, the firm intent was clear for all to hear.

I sighed and wrapped one arm around Bella's shoulders as she led me through the all too familiar shopping centre.

Having had children I had spent many a Christmas in hear being towed around as the designated bag carrier. Bella in her all too human role as mother liked to make me feel like I assumed all fathers did on these outings.

Simply there to pay and carry things, rather like a pack mule with an ATM card.

After trying on what I counted to be at least eighteen different tuxes, as if to annoy me Bella and my smaller sister decided that the one they liked best was the first one I was subjected to, nearly an hour and a half previously.

It was unfortunate, as I had once stated earlier in my existence, that we could not die as easily as humans. _Unfortunately_ into eh sense that I was not able to beat myself to death with the coat hanger, or hang myself on the belt, much like some humans I suspected had tried.

Bella then used me as bag carrier, well just her hand bag, which was possibly even more humiliating. As I heard many a human male or female question mentally whether the accessory was my own.

I was just about to vent my frustration at her as the single gayest man jumped into our lives.

"Are you shopping here today?" He cried and Bella looked at me pleadingly, knowing that I wanted more than anything to be homophobic at this point in the day.

"Yes and you can come to?" I cried and the man beamed, Bella looking at me like she was seeing me for the first time.

"Well that's _fantastic_." He stressed, "I'm a personal shopping."

"No shit..." I muttered and Bella stamped on my foot. I winced and she smirked at me as the man showed her several different styles that would suit her.

I had to admit he seemed to know what he was talking about, that I was at all interested in what he was showing me. I avoided looking at the product and any of the other details, my eyes honing in only on the _price_. I suspected this was a male thing, not that the Gay man next to me would have known anything about that.

He handed Bella a pile of dresses and steered her towards the changing room, me having been sat in a leather look arm chair with a car magazine and a glass of beer.

Evidently I was _not_ the first male to have been made to wait like this.

I looked up just as the man passed me with more dresses, heading towards the changing room that held my wife.

I supposed it was strangely... well okay... it _was_ paranoid of me to think that he was just pretending to be gay to perve on my wife. Call me over protective, but I think what I did was totally reasonable.

"Sir?" I called and he spun, skipping over to me.

"Yes?" He cried causing me to wince. And I started to ask myself if he really did he always talk like that?

Looking at the face of that female shop assistant cowering in the corner with what happened to be her hair wrapped around her head in some kind of ear defender, I would have guessed _yes_. As unrealistic as it seemed, that _was_ his natural voice.

"Follow her into that changing room and I'll kill you." I threatened and he nodded, swallowing away and pulling away just as my wife walked out.

I beamed at her and she turned left and right for me to see. The dress did indeed look fabulous, and i was more than confident it would look amazing next to the gold plush carpet in our room.

However, I was slightly disappointed when Bella seemed more impressed with the _size_ rather than the actual product.

"Edward it's a six!" She repeated over and over again, even after we had purchased it.

Althogh the conversation and purchase did lead us to the one area of the whole shop I didn't feel embarrassed in with my wife, unlike most guys.

This part of the shop also held an item of clothing I knew a lot about.

Underwear.

I mean come on, how many men do you know who can not only undo a bra with their teeth, but also corset, hold ups and anything else that comes in a pink _Victoria's Secret_ bag.

Bella held a selection out for me where I sat on an armchair in a familiar changing room. This time I was handed quite simply a catalogue that I immediately folded and put in the bag containing Bella's dress. My wife rolled her eyes at me but tried on the approved sets without complaint, even accessorising most of them.

I beamed and beckoned her forwards with the last set, but stopped myself when I saw a girl with Bronze hair checking herself in the mirror at the end of the room.  
"Please tell me your not..." I shouted and my daughter spun, screaming and grabbing a robe from somewhere which she held around her.

"_Dad,_ _mum_, a little privacy?" She screamed.

My eyes went wide, "_Privacy_, we're in a _mall_!"

I knew I was right to be against the wedding, weddings meant the one thing I enjoyed more than anything, even though now it was so rare. It was also deeply disturbing now certainly one of my children had experienced it, but I still missed it, especially the first time.

_Compulsory sex_.

"What's going on... Ness?" Chris asked and walked out of one of the changing rooms, just doing is shirt back up. He froze when he saw me and Bella, although his eyes tried to say as far away from my wife, bent over in lingerie in my lap, as possible.

"Someone had _better_ have a _good_ explanation." I growled and Renesmee fumbled, Chris looking ready to have a seizure.

"Well?" I demanded and Bella stiffened.

Ness tried to smile but her words came out shaky as she pointed to the rows of lingerie hanging by _their_ changing room.

"They're on sale?" She offered and Chris snickered, wincing when it escaped his lips.  
"Run." I snarled.

He didn't need telling twice.


	7. How dead am I?

Edward.

I sighed and dodged another aggressive flying object that my wife was throwing at me. I had to be quick and catch ever one, for Charlie had been put to bed, and if one of those objects was missed by my catch. It might not only make a loud noise but put a whole thorough the wall.

"Your over reacting." I tried to get out but was cut off my the lamp flying at my face.

"_Overreacting?" _ She screamed, obviously unconcerned for our sons sleep habits.

She snarled and through a photo, "_Overreacting_, you _broke his arm_!" She reminded me.

I scoffed, "it was only for a second, I knew his wolf healing would kick in..."

She growled and launched herself at me, moving to punch me when I caught her fist in my hand, in between our two faces.

My face was hard, "yes, you are over reacting."

She frowned and pulled her hand away, balling it in a fist like her other by her hip.

I sighed and rubbed the tops of her arm in my hands, "Bella if Chris and Renesmee are fine with it I don't see why you can't be."

She seemed to have steam blowing out of her ears, her mouth clamped shut so tight I wondered whether she would ever un lock her jaw and speak again.  
"Its just like a supernatural game of It, that's all, just stick a bandage on it he'll be fine." I told her, trying to make her laugh.

Her glare could have made a nun sweat, I was unsure what she was finding so horrific that she behaving like this, but I felt if I asked I would just be accused of not listening.

Her teeth snapped open and she began gesturing and shouting."  
"You know what Edward; the problem is you just don't _listen_." She screamed and I ironically cheered in my head. It was really quite Ironic; I _had_ been listening all the times she'd told me I _didn't_ listen.

She continued shout at me for a hood ten minutes before she had to stop to catch her breath. I just stood there, not even bothering to walk over and touch her because I knew she was just going to smack my hands away.

Even if I didn't listen, I sure as anything paid attention to her gestures towards me.

There was a subliminal message in that sentence; one my brain didn't fail to notice.

Bella folded her arms and raised her eyebrows at me expectantly. I swallowed and cringed slightly.  
"Yes?" I guessed and her eyes blazed.

I swallowed, "No..."

She launched herself at me and tackled me tot eh floor. I laughed as she began to playfully smack me all over.

I sighed and put my hands by my head, becoming still and innocent.

"Okay, you can punish me." I sighed and she giggled, moving to tug at my jeans.

"You said it." She laughed and I growled, rolling us so I hovered over her.

CHRIS POV

"Okay just how dead am I?" I asked for at least the tenth time as I paced at the foot of mine and Renesmee's bed. She was sat in bed reading, waiting for me to get in and go to sleep.

I was too nervous to sleep, the phrase, _I will kill you while you sleep_, was spinning around my mind.

And with the interests of seeing tomorrow, I would try and fight sleep for as long as I could.

"He's going to kill me." I groaned and covered my face in my hands, flopping to sit on the end of the bed.

"I told you we should have waited to tell them when he was there, now I'm back to square one..." I raved and she hushed me, moving to kneel up behind me, massaging my shoulders.

I put my head in my hands and she kissed my hair.

"he's not going to kill you Chris."

I swallowed, "No?"

She shook her head and I watched in the mirror opposite as she leant around my neck to whisper in my ear.

"It will all be fine." She whispered and I thought about believing her, until I heard movement from upstairs, and as Edward made his way down the hall towards us.

"On a scale of one to ten just how dead am I?" I asked and she groaned, smacking my shoulder and pulling me to lie back in bed.

"How many days are there of Christmas?" She responded.

I frowned, "Twelve?"

"That's more than ten." She answered and turned off the lamp before lying down beside me.

I started up at the ceiling for a few minutes in silence before it all became too much.

"he's going to kill me..." I whispered.

"_Chris!" _

**Heya guys, hope you enjoyed it PLEASE REVEIW! Also if you want to post any ideas of what you want to happen within the next few chapters please let me know ;) xxx**


	8. Serious

Chris POV

I knew we spent most of the time pretending to be fully human but crikey, what had Bella and my fiancée so convinced that cooking a thanks giving dinner would bring us closer together as a family. Edward wasn't going to even _eat_ any of it.

Speaking of my soon to be father in law, he was sat in the arm chair drinking a glass of blood. Honestly I thought it would be impossible to be any _more_ scared of him than I already was. But seeing him drinking his natural diet was making my stomach clench.

I sat in silence on the sofa while he raised the glass repeatedly to his lips, drinking deeply, all the while never taking his eyes off of the TV.

Bella walked in drying her hands and stared astonished at her husband.

"How long have oyu been sat on your arse in silence?" She cried and threw an anxious look at an uncomfortable me.

Edward let out a breath, eyes still on the TV. "I have been _sat on my arse_, for three hours, since _you_ left me to prat about with a turkey." He muttered and she growled.

He carried on unfazed and unmoving, "And not only _have_ I been sat like this for four hours, but I intend to _stay_ like this for the rest of the day."

Bella hissed, "Why?"

"it's my thanks giving too." He stated.

She smirked at him, "Well maybe now would be the prefect opportunity to tell you that we are having guests for dinner."

"really?" He asked, totally uninterested, and not even pretending to look it.

Bella frowned, "Yes, Chris's parents."

"Talk about throwing me to the sharks." I muttered and cringed when Edward's teeth snapped together.

"What?" He growled and she laughed, walking back towards the kitchen, just as Anthony walked in.

"No you know, anyone watching this?" He asked and flopped down on the sofa, grabbing the remote and changing to channel onto some music channel where everyone was wearing fewer clothes than the swimming channel.

"What are you wearing?" Edward asked his son, looking him over.

Anthony frowned, "what are _you_ wearing?"

"You can't ask me that, look at you, that shirt..." Edward laughed, "What did you do, sell the caravan but keep the curtains."

Anthony scowled and I laughed, Edward winked at me and my spirits lifted slightly.

"Why are you in such a bad mood anyway?" Anthony shot at his father who growled at him.

Edward shrugged, "Everyone should get to enjoy thanks giving in their own way."

"it's not proper thank giving though." I remind both of them.

Edward shrugged, "The detail."

Anthoyn looked slightly hopeful," Unless your just being men to get back at chris, and are going to be nice tommrow when AImees mum comes."

Edward frowned, "I cant predict these things."

Bella walked through, ebding over to put a candle on teh table, adding a strange eery glow to the room. Edward cringed away from it and she smirked at him.

"You can manage to be nice for two days." She commented.

Edward scoffed and she growled.

"Your acting like my father."

Edwards jaw tightened, "He was a good man."

She rolled her eyes, "I know, are you going to carve the turkey or are you going to do it when they get here?"

He frowned, "Do I have to eat it?"

"Yes."

"Then I will go and watch the bears game with Emmet at the main house, and return when everyone is too pissed to know that I'm not eating." He said and stood up.

Bella looked outraged.

"You're not being serious?" She demanded.

Edward nodded and reached the door before she even had time to move.

"Deadly." He muttered and left.


	9. Seperation

**ELLIE POV**

I watched anxiously form where I was stood by the fridge as mum threw the pots and pans about, cursing and muttering things about dad that I was unsure I wanted to hear. She all but threw the pizza in the oven and I frowned, fisting my hands in anger at my father.

I spun and stormed from the house, not that anyone noticed. Renesmee, Anthony and Aimee as well as Chris were too absorbed in keeping the strain from showing to notice.

If mum noticed my departure, she was nice enough not to make a fuss.

I ran up to the main house and barged into the living rom, in time to see the rest of the family stood around the edge of the rom, watching dad and Aunty Alice anxiously, who were glaring at each other from where they stood about half a foot apart.

She acknowledged me without breaking dads gaze.

"Talk some sense into your father. He needs to grow up." She growled and stormed out, the rest of the family doing the same.

Dad sighed and I swallowed, watching as he turned off the TV and turned to walk up the stairs.

I shouted after him, "I know, dad."

He turned around with black eyes, irises thin slits in his face.

I swallowed, "I heard you arguing with Chris about it."

"What you have to say won't change anything..." He started but I was amazed to find that his tone sounded almost unsteady. I saw my opportunity, and I took it.

"How could you even _think_ of going back to Italy dad, do you have _any_ idea what it would do to mum..." I began to shout but he cut me off, eyes black and hard as flint.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that." He scolded and I let out a laugh of disbelief, tears in my eyes.

"Someone needs to!" I shouted and he went to reprimand me so I kept talking.

"Dad if we fight we might win, how can you _possibly_ think that giving up will be any better..." I started when he shouted over me and his words cut through my like glass.

"I know my place... its time you learnt yours."

I swallowed, "When I was little..."

"I was weak." He snapped and I cringed.

"I spoiled you rotten, you and all my children. I filled your heads with stupid thoughts and dreams that will never come true... _never_."

I cringed and he shook his head.

"I caused to much damage to your mother to put right, and its selfish of me to believe that a coven of our size... allies or no allies could take on the Volturi. I won't have you fight a battle we stand no chance of winning..."

"But dad..." I whispered.

"No." He snapped and looked at me sadly, shaking his head and speaking more to himself than anyone else I thought.

"No." He breathed and turned to leave when I whispered after him.

"Daddy."

He froze and turned back to me, pulling me into a hug. I sobbed into his shirt and he hushed me, stroking my back.

"Please don't leave, fight... fight for us." I whispered pathetically and pulled back to look into his eyes.

His face was heartbroken and tortured, as if at some inner cross roads that he had no idea how to pass.

Eventually he just shook his head and pulled out of my embrace.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and he was gone.

Just like that.

It was like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.

My daddy was gone.

**EDWARD POV**

I ghosted through the house like a wisp of smoke. The candles and lights had long since been turned off, and the house was dark, empty, solitary. I climbed the stairs and let my hand trail along the banister as I did so. I favoured and remembered the touch of the familiar wood underneath my palm.

After all, soon I would be leaving here for good.

I padded softly down the hall, opening my daughter and her fiancées room to see them asleep in each other's arms. Renesmee sniffling quietly into his chest in her sleep, his eyes tried from calming her.

I caught the door before it could even shut, after placing two envelopes at the foot of their bed. I smiled sadly and left the rom again, heading down the hall and past the large hanging montage I had made with my children for Bella's birthday one year.

I looked it over and my hand lifted of its own occurred to touch one picture in particular. It depicted my wife sat care free and beautiful on a boat on the way to isle Esme.

"two thousand and ninety four." I whispered quietly to myself as I remembered hat year, her anniversary present to me, when we had spent two weeks alone and blissfully happy. Before having to return to the hum drum world of being a teenager.

I swallowed and entered Aimee and Anthony's room first, laying another two envelops, this time on their dressing table, which was scattered with half written thank you cards for the wedding gifts, as well as other human items.

Next I entered Charlie's room. I crossed over and picked him up gently, cradling him in my arms so he wasn't jostled, he didn't even stir.

"I'm going to miss you buddy." I sniffed. "I would write you a letter as well but... you can't read."

I swallowed and walked so we were silhouetted in the moonlight shining through the window. I gazed down at his tiny face.

"But you're going to be able to read someday, I'm sure your mother and grandma Esme will force you to join a library the read too much for their own good." I chuckled sadly and sighed.

"Even if you never learn to read I won't care, I just ask that you remember, remember me, as well as you can." I breathed and took a stuttering breath, kissing his forehead before walking to my final destination.

I leant over my wife's body, lips lingering on her forehead as she cried gently in her sleep. Not her screaming and writhing ways she did when I left, but calmer, more accepting almost.

I swallowed and pressed my forehead against hers.

"I love you, be safe." I whispered, and then I left.


	10. Renesmees Letter

Dear Renesmee

Ness, by now you probably realise that I am not coming back, and my leaving is in fact, permanent.

I am sorry for it, I truly am, and I know that you and your mother may never forgive me for my passing, and for that I will eternally apologise.

It makes me sad that I shall never see your brother grow up, or exactly who he looks like, me or your mother.

Or how much you enjoyed your existence, and all the stuff you got to do, whether you ever did get into Harvard, or get a PHD in sociology,.

Or how your brother acts, god I pray that he is not as clumsy as your mother was, otherwise your going to have a hell of a job keeping him safe.

Your mother has her own letter but she will probably never tell you of what is inside, but just tell her that I loved her Ness, but don't let her read this.

This is your letter, and for you only to remember me by.

Enclosed is a letter for Anthony, and I want you to give it to him when he is fully grown, probably six years from now.

I hope in that time you have not forgotten me, but that your mother has carried on, as i asked her to.,

When you were born she told me that you were even more beautiful than me, which I can hardly believe is true.

I will miss you Ness, and although I know it is alot to ask,

Please try and look after your mother for me.

Because I know that the letter I wrote her will probably not find her in good stead, and I know she will not have taken my departure gently.

We were too much in love, if that is possible, to close.

Had to much to lose.

Please, for me.

I love you.

Your father

Edward.

PS, tell Chris in the kindest way possible, that if he hurts you in anyway, I will kick his but form far away. Believe me, it can be done.

God I miss you... you'll be a beautiful bride. I am only sorry I never told you before.


	11. Anthonys Letter

Dear Anthony

God, what could I possibly write to you?

You were always mine and your mother's special boy... I know that you will probably cringe whilst reading that now... but that is what you always will be.

That is a title you will have to share with Charlie now... and you're soon to be brother in law.

This letter is not really a goodbye, for I hope I will never really leave you, only in body not in spirit and all that crap.

I regret alot now, I should have taken you more places, accepted your decisions.

It occur to me now... just how much I hope one day that you will realise for yourself just how hard it is to be a father, although I am sure you will be superb at it.

You will have your mother and the rest of the family to guide you after all, even if I am not there, they will be, and really that is all you will need.

Well... I never really was one for words... your mother always did this kind of thing.

She wrote everything, the thank you cards for our wedding, for all of your birthday gifts and any other present we received along the way.

I never regret having a family, having you though my son.

I will forever miss you, and I hope that one day you can forgive me for what I am to do.

I love you, take care of one another.

Your father,

Edward x


	12. Revelations

**I know some of you wanted to read a couple more letters, and trust me they will be coming soon. So don't get to mad LOL, please review! Xx**

Edward POV

My hands were deep in my pockets and my body was fighting the sobs that were pending, fighting so hard that my body was shaking. My eyes were narrow and nearly closed as I trudged through the pouring rain. If I had been human I would have been human.

The irony was that _if_ I was human I wouldn't have to be leaving in this weather in the first place.

I sighed and kicked a rock with such force that the divot it left behind in the mud was large enough to bury a small animal in.

I just about had my eyes open in time to see a blur pass my eyes and push me down, I was slammed onto the floor but managed to regain quickly enough to spin and pin the offender against the tree.

We both glared and snarled balefully in one another's faces for a solid minute before she spoke.

"Marcus sent me." She growled and my eyes narrowed, hand tightening around her throat.

"Why should I believe what you say?" I snarled.

Heidi hissed, "Because if you don't your family will still die."

I dropped her and she landed nimbly on her feet, shooting backwards so that she was about five feet away from me.

I snarled, "What are you doing here?"

"Your being a selfish... _ignorant_ bastard you know that?"

I scoffed, "I'm saving my family."

She laughed in disbelief, "What?"

I was about to speak when she cut me off, "Do you even _realise_ how lucky you are... how _grateful_ you should be, that you have a family, who would fight for you."

I swallowed, "You don't know anything."

"Edward." Heidi whispered, "People like us..._vampires_... don't get many happy ever afters... now like it or not you've been given the opportunity to have a _life_..." She breathed and I swallowed.  
"You have a life, a family Edward, something most of us quite literally would _kill_ for." Her eyes were sad as she spoke, and i saw tears glistening over her for once naturally red eyes.

"I won't have them fight for me..." I started but she cut me off.

"Can't you see Edward, Aro knows that you will go back to Italy that you'll leave them alone. He plans to kill Bella and your family, so you have _nothing_ to return to." She breathed and I froze.

"What?" I gasped and she nodded sadly.

"Leaving them won't solve anything Edward... with gods hep... and your own faith and friends you can take them on your own turf, just as Marcus told you."

I frowned and straightened up, eyes defiant.

"God?" I asked, "And _I'm_ Ignorant."

She looked at me with almost pitying eyes.

"You may not believe in god, but you _have _to believe in something." She whispered.

I looked away and she moved to stand in front of me, so I _had_ to meet her eyes.

"You're brave Edward, and your smart, but your letting your heart rule your head." She whispered.

I shook my head, "They can have my existence, but they can't have her."

"Then don't let them." She breathed and her eyes turned serious.

"I want to help you."

My eyes tightened, "Why?"

She shook her head, and her thoughts were less than helpful.

"It doesn't matter, but when the time is right in around six months, I will return, with Help. I can't live in repression any longer Edward. Time has moved on from the age of the Volturi, it has to _end_." She told me earnestly.

I looked at her anxiously, "What if we lose... It's not right to ask my family to risk themselves..."

She smiled gently, "You know that you can win, you just need to believe."

And she was gone.

I sighed and looked around, but she had disappeared, when he time is right, she had said.

"Thank you." I whispered and there was a rustling from around a mile away, so I assumed she heard.

I turned back to the house, hoping and praying that if I moved fast enough I could be back at the house, with my wife, all memories of my leaving thrown away, or burnt in reference to the letters.

I trudged up the house, slightly anxious when I saw that some of the down stairs lights were on. My feet carried me into the living room, and I removed my jacket, standing and looking from the hall way door at the sight before me. I went un-noticed, and that allowed me memories I would always treasure.

I smiled at my family when Anthony, executing a purely human state of behaviour. It was a low moment, but all of us, everyone at some point has done it.

"Right that's it, if you're going to be a dick, I'm fetching the dictionary." He said and stood up, making to march from the room when Chris snorted and shouted after him.

"Assuming you can find your way back."

Anthony spun and was about to say something when I cut them both of.

"Well you are the star of snow white and the seven brain cells."

They both stared at me with wide eyes and I swallowed, neither of them moving or saying anything.

"I wanted to apologise..." I started but they both blew it off with a gesture of their hands.

"It's okay dad." Anthony whispered.

Chris shrugged and Anthon hugged me before going up to bed. They both promised not to say anything to either of their girls or mine, as well as Ellie and the rest of the family.

I assumed that Alice already knew, but I could handle her.

"Hey Edward?" Chris called after me after Anthony had left and I was making my way up the stairs.

I turned around and he walked over to me, producing four envelopes, only one opened.

I frowned and he put them in my hands.  
"Some things don't need saying." He breathed and walked towards his and Renesmee's room.

I looked down at the script in my hands and sighed, the four words, for names standing out harshly against the white envelope.  
_Anthony, Aimee, Renesmee, Chris._

"Hey!"I called after him and he turned to look at me.

I smiled, "What I wrote... I meant it."

"I know." He said and opened their door slightly.

I looked down at my hands but then looked up at him anxiously.

"Where's the other one?" I demanded.

He frowned, "that's all I found, Bella's up, she was when I woke up, why don't you ask her? Good night." He said and disappeared into his room.

I gasped and flew up the stairs, opening our bedroom door so fast my movement was a blur. But what I saw stopped me.

My wife stood with her back to me, and from looking in the mirror I could see that she had tears pouring down her face. Her hair was a mess, and her eyes were dark, a torn envelope lying on the carpet by her feet.

But most strikingly of all was the piece of paper in her hands which her gaze was scanning intently.

"Bella?" I whispered and she spun to face me.

I gasped and took a step back.


	13. Family

Edward POV

Her eyes were voids, not really seeing, glistening with tears and pain, pain that _I _had caused. It was the pain of longing, longing for something that you can never have.

I was desperate for that, I was so _desperate _to take it all back, take very mistake I had made back and make it better. But I just couldn't.

My silent heart burned in my chest, and I fought the urge to groan at the pain of it.

I stopped myself from showing pain though, for whatever _I_ was feeling... it was nothing, and absolutely _nothing_ compared to what I was inflicting on my wife.

What I continued to inflict, regardless of all the times I had done it before, and the consequences it had caused us both.

She took a step towards me, hand reaching up to touch my cheek gently. Part of my steely appose to myself at this point wasn't hard enough to stand it though, and I melted under the touch of her skin against my own.

"I know why you did it." She whispered and swallowed back what I suspected were more tears.

I smiled sadly, "I'm going to fight Bella, I can't run away from something this big."

"You wouldn't have been able to escape me anyway." She breathed.

I frowned slightly in confusion and she giggled, stretching up to kiss me gently.

"When its real, you can't walk away." She breathed and my arms wrapped around her tight as the kiss deepened.

"Why are you always right?" I murmured around her lips and she smiled gently, locking her hands in my hair. I felt her knees dip slightly at the pressure of our face and I frowned at having to bend. So I did the most practical thing, I scooped her up under the knees, wrapping her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck, hands in my hair.

"I love you." I murmured and she bit down on my bottom lip, casing me to groan.

"I love you to." She whispered.

After a long time of love making and some large percentage of an hour laying in bed together in silence, Bella spoke up.

"Did you truly believe that we couldn't win?" She whispered and I nodded, not wanting to let her into my black mind, at the moment all I was capable of was hating myself, then looking at and loving her, then self loathing some more.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered suddenly.

She paused for a minute, "Honestly?"

"Honestly." I replied instantly, not caring what it was or who it as about. Well of course I cared _massively_ about _whom_ it was, if it was about anyone other than the family, I would be seriously put out.

She snuggled closer into my side, "I was thinking about the first time we met."

I smiled, "Me to."

She frowned and popped herself up on my chest, looking down into my eyes.

"Why?" She asked quietly.

I sighed and reached up to cup her cheek gently in my hand. I smiled slightly at the memories of every time he had made a crack about how big my hands were, this in turn had parked a _lot_ of jokes from Emmet, which were mostly shot down by me or Esme for being inappropriate.

"I guess in the end you start thinking about the beginning." I whispered sadly.

She hushed me and kissed the wrist of the hand which was holding her face.

"Some things don't end." She whispered and touched my cheek with the mirror hand that I was touching her with.

I smiled and we kissed gently, her lashes touching my eyelids like soft butterfly kisses.

"We should be getting up; the girls will be dying to see you." She breathed and got out of bed, pulling on her robe, my eyes instantly missing the sight of her naked body.

"Do we have to?" I groaned just as Charlie started crying from his crib. I watched as Bella walked through the adjoining door of our two bedrooms and bent over o pick him up, the robe rising just enough to make me fight to control myself.

She hushed him and walked back over to me, sitting down next to me cross legged by my head and nursing him gently.

Again, I was struggling to see why the robe was altogether necessary.

Bella stared down at our son with such love that I felt the need to say something. I touched her cheek and she glanced at me, smiling happily.

"Are you okay?" I whispered and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm _fine_ Edward."

There then came a knock at the door and I groaned, climbing out of bed and pulling on some jeans and underwear, before opening the door.

I laughed and had the wind knocked out of me as two people threw themselves at me. I prized my daughters off of me after five minutes of them screaming at me, and walked over to my daughter in law who was stood in the door way.

I smiled, "Thank you." I breathed as I hugged her.

"Why?" She asked and I sensed her confusion.

I smiled, "For not hurting me."

"Dad!" Anthony yelled form downstairs and I sighed, following his voice with my children close behind.

We entered the lounge and everyone went back to what they were originally doing, whether it was watching TV, or looking though magazine in the case of the females.

I sighed and waited patiently as my son began to babble on about his new job. He thrust a piece of paper and I examined it as he waited for my reaction.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "You deliver _leaflets_?"

He frowned, "Dad you're supposed to be a man of the world, can you not see how great this is?"

"No." I said as though it were obvious, and I smiled when Chris and several other people in the room, Aimee included, laughed.

Anthony frowned, "You are the closed minded audience we at global investments try to reach, you need to open your mind..."

"I tell you what?" I said, cutting him off. "How about I open the _trash_, and throw this in?"

Everyone burst into laughter but were cut off by my wife's scream from upstairs.  
"Edward!" She yelled.

I threw the leaflet down and made it up the stairs before I assumed it even hit the floor. I burst into our room to see my wife in tears, our son stood in front of her, arms stretched towards me.

I was about to ask what the hell was going on when I was silenced by a small voice I had never heard befre.

"Dada." It said.


	14. Baseball and growing up

Edward POV

I beamed and rushed forwards, scooping my son up in my arms and kissing his stomach, causing him to giggle and squeal excitedly.

"Oh you're so smart aren't you little man. Daddy's got to save up for your Harvard fund already..." I crooned and Bella laughed tearily as I handed him back to her.

I thought she would calm down, and it was only because she was as happy as I was that she was crying. But she did not, and the tears continued to fall, and I caught something in her eyes that I never wanted to see there, even though it was normally me who put it there.

Small traces of sadness marred the pure gold of Bella's irises, and I reached to stroke her cheek gently, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her hair.

"What's wrong love?" I asked quietly and she swallowed.

"He's growing up." She whispered and I nodded my head, in acceptance as well as in agreement, for it was something I had thought and worried over to.

"I know." I said just as quietly as she had.

Bella was right, Charlie became physically the age of twelve in just three weeks. This also cut deeply into the time I had to think of a serious plan to save us all, a part from having Heidi's help. But a part form herself, I saw no real strength in what she was bringing to the table.

However, as I was reminded by both Carlisle and jasper daily, the six months was not changing, Alice had seen that, and even to a vampire, it was still half a year.

We were walking towards the base ball field, well me and my youngest son. The rest of them had been there an hour, but I had to stay and wait for Charlie to finish his homework, he may have been half vampire, but no son of mine was going to be a dunce.

I often said this around Anthony, him often being labelled the 'brains' of the family, sometimes I felt bad for him, but most of the time I found it pretty hilarious.

"Please let me play dad?" Charlie moaned where he was hopping from rock to rock beside me. I sighed, he was venting some of the inner vampire that sometimes flared up, married with his teenage age, it meant that he was sometimes the one you needed to keep an eye on, even more than _Emmet_.

"No, you know why now get down." I said firmly and he rolled his eyes.

"You know you'd let me if mum wasn't going to shout at you when we get there." He reminded me.

I frowned, "If you want to stay with Grandma Esme tomorrow night you'd best behave."

"You can't leave me home alone, vampire or not." He tried to call my bluff.

I suppressed a smile, of course I was going to win, I _was_ his _father_ after all.

"No I _can't_ leave you home alone, but you can stay home alone with _me, _while the rest of them go out." I said and raised my eyebrows at him.

He swallowed and shook his head, "I'll behave."

I grinned and ruffled his hair, causing him to groan and try and arrange it back in its carefully placed unruly way.

Bella said he took after me for my hair, I couldn't imagine why. My look was au natural, no one could achieve it. Especially not that sap Mike Newton who I remembered trying to recreate it on his own misshapen head when me and Bella first were dating.

"So whose team are you going to be on... is Aunty Alice going to pitch... please can I play... _please_ dad... ah..." He stumbled over a tree root and I spun around, watching anxiously, yet sternly as he brushed himself off and looked up at me.

He winced and shook his leg, my eyes blazing when I saw a dark patch of blood forming on the inside of his jean.

I picked him up and sat him on a rock, rolling up his trouser leg while he held my shoulder to look.

My eyes watched as the damaged skin healed almost as fast as Chris's wolf flesh did.

I sighed, if he wasn't half vampire he really would be as much of a walking disaster as Bella was when she was a human.

"it's okay dad." He said and I looked at him sharply. He blushed and I sighed internally, yet another thing he got from his mother, along with having me wrapped around his finger.

Although, _all_ of my family and extended family were guilty of that.

"Sorry." He mumbled and I sighed, sitting down beside him and giving him a gentle nudge.

"You just frighten me how much like your mother you are." I told him and he laughed.

He shook his head, "She says I'm more like you."

I rolled my eyes, "Well who are you going to believe, you _know_ I'm always right..." I said just as there was a rustling from a few feet away.

I stood bolt upright and looked around anxiously, letting out a relieved yet apprehensive sigh when my wife entered the clearing we were in.

I was relieved that it was her and not a member of the Volturi or one of the surprisingly dormant wolves.

And I was _apprehensive_ when I saw the look on her face.

I tried to cover my tracks and avoid the wrath I could feel coming, my son could sense it to.

"It's okay his wound healed he simply tripped, he's not in any pain and it's all under control..." I started but was cut off by her teeth snapping together.

"_You're always right?"_ She screamed, my son swallowed and I cringed.

"Ah." I breathed.

**HEYA GUYS, PICTURE OF CHARLIE ON PROFILE xx**


	15. A disaster

**Edward POV**

I stormed from the trees with my son and wife a little way behind. I was cursing to myself and throwing stone at a nearby fern when Emmet came rushing over.

"I have to tell you what just happened?" He shouted at me and I growled.

"And I must tell you that I _don't_ care." I responded and flew away from him, going to sulk and moan to Chris, after all, he was too polite to tell me to shut up, unlike everyone else it seemed.

"How _dare_ she speak to me like that" I growled and flexed my knuckled, throwing a ball with him at a force and speed I was almost surprised he could still catch at.

He rolled his eyes, "At least you're pumped and we might actually _win_ this game."

"Alice is keeping the future under wraps, either that or she can't see..." I smirked at my sister as she growled at me from across the field.

Since my children had grown up and added their own partners to our coven, we had changed team sizes, and the whole game format now revolve entirely around girls vs. Boys.

It was very rare that Carlisle and Esme played now; they just tended to act as umpire, as well as keeping my son company. I knew he would be itching to play, and I had compromised with him at the privacy of the house that he could sub me if I had to come off.

Like that was going to happen, I was seeing this game to the very end, and I _would_ beat my wife, I had bet my Volvo for a week on it.

Anthony joined us then, Aimee was sat playing some game on my IPhone with my son, his obsession with it baffled me, it was _just_ a phone.

Okay it was a phone that had to be tweaked a lot, phones with touch or heat sensitivity tided to not work for us, so I had spent a large part of the week end I got it not actually _using_ it.

"How long do you think this is going to take, I have to write a paper when we get in?" My son asked as he and Chris stretched. I didn't need to, I was leaning against a rock, arms folded and jaw set tight as out of the corner of my eyes I could see Bella and the rest of the girls changing out of their jeans into varsity jackets and hot pants, complete with knee high socks and air Jordan's.

They looked like cheer leaders. It reminded me of all the times I had told Bella to join the Spartans cheerleaders at school.

She had shot me down, telling me it was just an excuse to see her in short clothes.

I had scoffed at this, I saw her with _no_ clothes on nearly every day. I had my own imagination to pass the time. It was my own imagination that was currently making parts of my body very uncomfortable.

"Whats the paper on?" I asked, trying to distract myself with my son's mundane story.

He raised an eyebrow at me, obviously wondering why I was showing an interest when I clearly didn't care.

"Richard the third." He replied and I rolled my eyes at the clear distaste in his voice when he said it.

"We used to call it Richard the third... you know, dick the shit." I laughed and they all joined in. I could have sworn I heard Bella growl slightly at me telling this story.

It had been her, who had told me not to swear in front of Charlie, but he was on the other side of the field, and no matter how much she criticised me, I knew she didn't think I was a bad dad.

"Alright let's go!" Emmet shouted and I groaned as we all walked to take up our positions on the field.

It didn't take long for it to become clear that the girls were using their _outfits_ to their advantage. Emmet was making it hard for Jasper to concentrate, and I was just about ready to break his skull to stop him thinking when I saw Alice's eyes go glassy.

At the same time a gun shot rang loud through the trees.

My daughter screamed.

My eldest son cringed.

And my wife crumpled.


	16. Help

**Renesmee POV**

I watched in horror as mum doubled over, dad rushing forwards to catch her in his arms as she stumbled. He set her on tea ground, Granddad blocking my view of her clearly, but I could smell blood. Charlie screamed and went to rush forwards but Chris caught him in his arms, holding him back.

Granddad asses mum while we all watched with wide eyes, all in a very wide ring around the three of them, Emmet and Jasper already having run off to see who fired the shot.

I would have gone, and I knew Anthony wanted to, but we were all too rooted to the spot to do anything. Mum, a half human... may have been dying.

I heard dad whimper so I stopped myself form thinking any such thing again.

"We needed to take the bullet back before her body heals over it." Granddad said; his voice shaky.

Dad nodded stiffly and went to lift her up in his arms when Granddad caught his arm.

"There isn't time, hold her still." He said and dad cringed.

Mum was sobbing his name and he looked down at her pleadingly, as she cried out for him, telling him how much it hurt...

By the look on dads face, the very concentrated version of all of our, he need no help in knowing what _pain_ felt like.

Dad pressed his hand down over mum so she couldn't move and she struggled and scream as Granddad moved his hand to her stomach. The smell of blood got stronger and mum screamed in pain, dad and everyone else whimpering.

Charlie burst into tears and I pulled him into a hug, sobbing into his hair as Chris wrapped his arms around me, hushing me gently.

I looked up as Granddad threw something small about a mile away.

"There." He said and mum sobbed into dad's shirt, him into her hair. It stayed like that for a while before dad picked mum up and him and granddad left, just as Uncles Emmet and Jasper returned.

"Anything?" Chris demanded as they walked over to us, Ellie hugging Aunt Rose as uncle Emmet spoke.

"It's not a scent we recognise, it's not a wolf we've met, in fact we don't _think_ it's a wolf at all." He stated.

I swallowed, "The Volturi?"

Charlie grew confused in my arms but I chose not to register it, we had promised dad not to let him know of what would happen with the Volturi. He would be fully grown soon and only then should he have the knowledge of what was to come.

Uncle Jazz shook his head, "We don't know whether they knew mum was half human, they _think_ she's still a vampire."

I sighed and shook my head, frustrated tears in my eyes.

"We'll wait at the main house; give mum and dad some privacy." I whispered and everyone nodded, as we turned to walk back to the house Charlie spoke up.

"I want to see mum." He said tearily.

I swallowed and looked at Chris for help. He smiled sadly and put his hand on Charlie's shoulder where my brother stood in between us.

"Not yet mate, let your dad and Granddad take care of her hey?" He said and Charlie nodded, leaning into my side and looking ready to cry again.

I put Charlie to bed when we got back, not that he wanted to, but I said he had a better chance of being allowed to see mum in the morning when he had been asleep.

My brother, knowing dads over protective state at the best of times, saw no floor in my logic.

"Will mum be okay?" He whispered as I went to stand up from sitting on the edge of his bed facing him. I smiled sadly, tears in my eyes. I did not trust my voice, also I just nodded.

He smiled back and told me that he loved me, before I replied the same. We then hugged and I left, collapsing into Chris's arms while we waited.

We waited for a long time, hours. I dozed off in Chris's arms where we sat on the sofa, but only for an hour. Ellie, Aimee and Anthony crashed on the other sofa, but they too seemed to be finding it hard to stay unconscious.

After four and a half hours of waiting the sun started to come up, and Granddad entered the lounge.

We all stood bolt upright and he smiled sadly.

"She'll be fine." He breathed.

We all let out a relieve sigh and I hugged Chris, crying with relief into his chest.

Granddad held his hand up quietened us and my heart tightened at the prospect of bad news.  
"However, she had taken sever damage to her abdomen, and had lost a lot of blood. Her now half vampire healing has healed it but it happened to quickly, meaning I had to... _alter_ it... that's what took so long." He said regrettably and Grandma hugged him.

I let a pain shoot through my chest as I thought of mum in all that pain... and _dad..._

"When can we see her?" I asked and everyone looked ready to demand the same thing.

Granddad shook his head, "Not until tomorrow, she's very weak, and she just wants your father at the moment."

We all nodded in understanding, it might have been a good thing anyway, to sleep and be refreshed for tomorrow. For it would be tough on all of us, especially Charlie.

There was a knock at the door and we all frowned, me moving to answer it, Chris behind me in case of danger.

I opened the door adn looked the women over, speaking in a tight voice.

"Can I _help_ you?" I demanded and she chuckled, Chris's hand coming down on my shoulders to restrain adn calm me.

"My how like your father you are?" She mumbled and tilted her head to one side as if to get a better look at me.

"Who are you?" I demanded and she stood up strahgt, flicking erh strawberry blond hair out of ehr face and folding ehr arms. I gasped when I notieced her eyes were butterscotch gold, like min, and that her voice sounded like wind chimes when she spoke.

"I'm _help_."


	17. I know

Edward POV

I ran my knuckles down Bella's cheek as her eyelids fluttered. She whispered my name sadly and tears fell down her face. I hushed her and wiped them away gently, my movements slow as not to startle her.

"I'm here." I whispered and she swallowed, opening her eyes to look at me sadly. I did my best to smile for her, but I knew that it didn't reach my eyes.

She reached up and touched my cheek, she managed to smile genuinely.

I sighed and shook my head, "You gave me such a fright."

She swallowed and I pulled through my venerable act faster than was humanly possible. I needed to be strong for her; after all it had been her who had been shot, not me. I needed to man up.

"I'm okay." I whispered, knowing what she was about to ask.

She shook her head at my almost too quick response so I started talking.

"How are you feeling?" I asked anxiously.

She shrugged and winced, both of us looking down at the bandage across her stomach; it was done tightly, to stop the healing flesh from _setting_ wrong.

It had been beyond torture to watch my wife go through that, as Carlisle re-cut her open to hold the skin, layer by layer as it healed. Removing the bullet had been the trickiest part, and I did not care to think or experience it again.

Bella stroked my hair where I was slightly bent over her, eyes fixed on her covered abdomen.

I had not realised I had tears in my eyes until she was hushing me.

"It will be okay." She whispered and I swallowed, taking her hand and kissing my knuckles.

I was slightly disturbed that when I took a deep breath it seemed unsteady.

"I will find who did this to you; I will make them pay... I _promise._" I vowed and she sighed, knowing better than to argue with me.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered and she looked over my shoulder sadly. I turned and saw the long white garment bag hanging on our closet door beside my tuxedo.

"Its the Spring Fling tomorrow." She whispered, "The dress cost nearly eight hundred dollars, and I wont even get to wear it."

I kissed her temple, "You know you're not well enough to go, I'll take you somewhere special son where you can wear it, I promise." I whispered.

She turned to look at me, smiling slightly, "You're making a lot of promises Cullen."

I chuckled and leant my forehead against hers, "It's because I love you."

She beamed and kissed me quickly, "I love you to."

There was knock on our bedroom door and I looked back at my wife to see her eyelids dropping.

I kissed her cheek, "Go to sleep sweetheart." I whispered and pulled away form her gently. She stirred slightly at the loss of touch, but did not cry as I expected her to.

I sighed and walked to the door, opening it to see my eldest daughter. Form her thoughts I could tell that Anthony and Aimee were still asleep, Ellie was with Esme worrying, and that Chris was keeping my youngest son entertained on the Xbox.

Ness followed me into the room and stood with me at the foot of the bed, looking at her mother sadly.

"How is she?" She whispered and I sighed, shaking my head.

"Shaken." I managed to get out.

Ness wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back. Out of all my children I was perhaps closest to my eldest, because she was indeed the most like me.

"I need to tell you something." She whispered and I looked down at her anxiously.

"What is it?" I demanded and she too my hand, leading me towards the door. I stopped just inside and she looked at me pleadingly.

"What is going on?" I demanded.

She swallowed and took a step away from me, just as another figure rounded the corner to face me.

"Hello Edward." She whispered and my jaw fell open.

"Tanya?" I gasped and she beamed, walking forwards to hug me. I was surprised that Renesmee was not confused as to who Tanya was, they had only met when she was very small, so I doubted she remembered.

Ness read my expression and shrugged, "We were introduced last night."

Tanya pulled away and pushed past me to go and hug Bella, who had croaked and announced that she was awake. They sat and chatted for hours, eventually the topic reaching the point where Bella's asked why she was here.

"I'm here to save you from the Volturi of course..." Tanya started when I cut her off from where I was at the back of the room; she was sat facing my wife on the edge of the bed who was slaying in it.

"Enough Tanya." I snapped and Bella looked at me sadly, Tanya giving me a look that told me that she was only speaking the truth, Of course she was, but I didn't need her working Bella up so little time after she had been _shot_.

"Are Eleazer and Carmen here to?" My wife asked Tanya.

Tanya nodded, "They stayed at the main house, because they knew he would want you all to himself." She gestured fleetingly to me and then went back to talking to my wife.

Bella nodded and swallowed, "I don't mean to be rude Tanya, but can you go now." She whispered.

Tanya brushed it off an hugged her gently, I flew over to her side and pulled her off of my wife before she caused her pain.

"I'll see you later." I hissed and she rolled her eyes at my wife before she left.

I sat down facing my wife who looked at me anxiously as I took one of her hands in both of mine.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly.

I swallowed and shook my head, "I think I know who shot you."

**DUN DUN DUN Cliff Hanger! ****Review if you want more, I probably will update once or twice tomorrow, so review! So review! xx**


	18. The Truth

Edward POV

I pulled away from my wife, barking at me daughter to watch her as I stormed from the house, following Tanya's scent to where she was stood in a clearing about a hundred yards away from the house, far enough away so that Bella and Renesmee couldn't hear.

I flew into her and smacked her into a tree; she growled and pushed me away.

"Oh get off me; you know I didn't do it so stop trying to make yourself feel better." She snapped.

I pushed off of her and she growled at me for good measure, before straightening her hair and clothes.

I swallowed, "Then who?"

"Well I would tell you if you'd stop behaving like such an _ass_!" She snarled and I let out a long breath, her thoughts telling me all I needed to know.

"Why?" I demanded breathlessly, all the fight seemed to have evaporated from my body.

She shrugged, "We don't know, we were only a few steps behind them, they could have taken you so easily... maybe we simply scared them off... well, before we killed them obviously."

I swallowed and shook my head, knowing that Bella had been hurt because of me... _again_... my conscience was seriously bent under all the self hate.

"But Alice would have seen Aro deicide..." I argued.

Tanya shook her head, strawberry hair bouncing around her face as she did so.

"Last time I saw the Volturi... the people who shot Bella, were in Demetri's command... Demetri being mate of..." She trailed off and I spat the word like a bitter taste in my mouth.

"Heidi."

Tanya looked at me sadly, "You can't trust any of them Edward, none of them will help you... they have to be working as double agents... Marcus may the exception but..."

"Marcus is dead." I growled and her eyes went wide before she composed herself.

My temper was flaring on its own accord, "And anyway I wouldn't trust someone on a whim... that's not who I am."

Tanya swallowed and spoke quietly, "Pretty soon, you won't _be you_ anymore."

I froze my pacing and stared her down, "What?"

She swallowed and it was infuriating to have to wait for her to reply aloud. Tanya was the exception along with Alice who had managed to control their thoughts, everyone else found it hard.

"Can't you feel it Edward... deep inside... you're ill again." She said her tone quiet and full of pity.

I froze and felt the familiar ache in the end of my limbs, an ache I normally put down to stress, something I brushed off because I was too concerned for my wife and children, my _family_.

I shook my head, "I'd know if I was sick."

"Edward..." She started when I cut her off, more out of anger than anything.

"What makes you such an expert, what do you know that I don't?" I demanded and she froze, her thoughts wavering for a second but not enough to allow my access.

She swallowed, "I was there... as a nurse when you were human, when you and your _family_ got sick."

I was confused as to the word she chose to stress, but I also failed to see what this fact had to do with anything.

"So?" I demanded. I was also wondering what could have been so much of a climax that she would need to hide it from me.

After Tanya had gotten over her aversion to Bella, we, me her and my wife had become close, there wasn't alot she kept from me. She was Renesmee's god mother for Christ's sake!

"So..." She started and onl then looked at me properly. "i wasn't theonly one there who shouldn't have been."

I frowned as she continued talking; although my eyes steadily got wider very time she finished a phrase.

"There were a lot of bodies, bodies with wasted blood, Aro and Renata... were visiting Carlisle, begging him to rejoin, found a lot of bodies simply left to be moved. You know yourself, in times of urgency, no one notices _everyone_."

I shook my head, "I fail to see what the point is..."

"The _point_ is Edward that they weren't really there to see Carlisle... they were there to see _you_."

My eyes narrowed and she swallowed, looking at me sadly.

"Only Carlisle and Renata know the truth, Aro as well of course..." She said and fumbled on her words.

"What _truth_?" I demanded, frustrated at how cryptic she was being.

She let out a stuttering breath, "You've never been human Edward."

There was a pause and I raised an eyebrow, "What... you do realise how stupid that is don't you... if you were there your should know that my parents..."

"Aren't you parents." She snapped and I whirled to look at her with wide eyes.

She swallowed, "Your father... _isn't_ your father."

"What?" I gasped.

She sighed, "you aren't named after your father... his name wasn't Edward."

My eyes narrowed, "Then who?"

She paused and spoke to the name with such reverence that I thought I was going to fall over.

"Aro."


	19. Decisions

Edward POV

I stumbled backwards as the words hit me, my chest heaving with unnecessary breaths.

"Its not true." Gasped, trying to convince myself more than anything.

Tanya shook her head, "You know that no two vampires posses the same power, and yours and Aro's are to similar for you to deny."

When I still did not say anything she carried on.

"That is why he is so obsessed with getting you back, he blackmailed Carlisle into changing you, he need you to live." She pressed.

I swallowed, "my father..."

"Your mother believed that you were his son as much as you did, you have always been a half vampire Edward, that's why your transformation didn't work, that's why you get sick."

"What?" I gasped."

She looked at me sadly, "Your body has too much venom to deal with, so after a period of time it begins to shut down."

"That is why I get sick." I mumbled.

She rolled her eyes, "You're not getting sick, your change is reversing."

I scoffed, "You really think I'm expected to believe..."

"Think about it Edward, you begin to sleep again, you grow weak and it is painful, you're turning _human_."

I swallowed back my comment, knowing deep down that she was right. But still, to except that Aro was my biological father, it would take more than a few persuasive words for me to do it.

"I need t go back to my wife." I whispered and turned to walk back to the house, my conscience burdened heavy with the news.

"Edward?" Tanya called after me and I turned to look at her, her eyes anxious.

"Don't fight it Edward." She whispered.

I frowned, "What do you mean?"

"You know yourself you are getting sick again, let the change happen, become human, then you can start again." She pleased.

I shook my head, "I can't let them down like that." I said and turned away again.

"You know yourself just how hard a father will fight for his child, he will get you back." She shouted.

I growled, "Well he can't have me."

And with that I stormed back towards the house, I slammed open the door to our bedroom to see my wife sat up in bed, pulling on a cardigan over her pyjamas.

"Okay before you start..." She said and sighed, looking up to meet my eyes, but she stopped herself when she saw my own irises, which were brimming with tears.

My whole body shook and I knew it was only moments before I collapsed under the immense strain I was feeling.

"Edward?" She gasped and climbed out of bed as I slumped onto the floor, holding my head in my hands and crying pathetically.

"Hey hey shush." She whispered and knelt down in front of me, prying my hands away from my face and pulling me into a hug.

"What's the matter?" She demanded as she rubbed my back.

I swallowed, "Aro's my father."

There was a pause and she pulled away to look into my eyes.

"You listen to me okay, listen." She said firmly and took my face almost roughly in her hands.

"Edward and Elizabeth... they were your parents okay, they raised you, they brought you up as the wonderful person you are..." She started and I went to interrupt her when she cut me off.

"No listen to me." She growled.

I swallowed and swam in the butterscotch of her eyes.

"There is _nothing_ that Aro can do to change what he did to us that lets him to have the right to be your father okay... _please_ do not worry about that my darling..."

"But he's never going to stop." I growled and she swallowed.

"Then we have no choice but to kill him." She whispered.

I suppose I should have felt some kind of resolve, some need to reason with her, but I didn't.

In my heart there was only stone cold hatred when I thought of Aro.

Naming him father felt far to intimate to belong anywhere _near_ that son of a bitch.

"There's more." I whispered and pulled away, this time watching _her_ anxiously for her reaction.

I told her of my illness, I told her about my true past, and I told her of how Carlisle had known all along.

"Do you think the others know?" She whispered, tears in her eyes.

I shook my head, "No, and I think he simply _didn't_ tell me to protect me. He loves me like a son, just as Esme does, and I don't imagine anyone would want that for someone that they loved."

She nodded and sniffed giving my hands a gentle squeeze where she was knelt facing me, our hands in between us.

"Are you okay?" I whispered and she shook her head, sobbing and crying into my chest, arms tight around my neck.

"Oh my love." I sighed and stroked her back, "It will be okay, I'm not going anywhere." I whispered.

She swallowed, "I don't know whether I can watch you get sick over and over again."

I hushed her, "It won't come to that, we'll just get the cure again."

"But the Aro has the cure." She reminded me whilst sobbing.

She had a point there.

"Don't think about it now, I'll figure something out, _we_ will, _together_." I breathed and picked her up, walking with her in my arms to lay her in the bed facing me, her still crying into my chest.

"I can't lose you." She cried.

I bent my head to whisper quietly in her ear, "You won't have to, we are going to win, and then they will never bother us again."

"What about Charlie, he's too young to understand... and Aimee, she's still human." She began to rave and I hushed her again, stroking her side to keep her calm.

"Don't think about it now, just rest." I ordered firmly.

She opened her eyes to look at me anxiously, "Are you sick again."

I shook my head, "I don't think so."

She sat up and pulled on my hand to get me up. I did as was instructed, but only to put her back _in_ the bed. But as was often the case with my wife, because I couldn't read her thoughts, I did not suspect her next move.

She was on the phone before I could stop her, and was asking Carlisle to come over before I could object.

He arrived in the next ten minutes, by which time Bella was dressed, and we were waiting for him in the lounge. I could hear all of my children in the upstairs rooms, and I was slightly glad that they were all the _busy_ to hear what was being said. My youngest son was asleep, but not in a deep enough rest for me to be perfectly satisfied.

"Edward..." Carlisle started as he entered the room but I held my hand out to silence him.

"I know... I understand." I said and hugged him, him thanking my mentally.

I smiled and my wife looked on anxiously as he commanded me to sit on the coffee table, after removing my shirt and beginning checking my veins, Bella stepped in.

"Well?" She demanded, obviously anxious.

I shushed her and gave her a reprimanded look. She sighed but folded her arms and looked at Carlisle for answers anyway.

He looked at me sadly, "You're in the very early stages of the change, it gives you enough time to decide what you want to do." He told us.

Bella looked between us anxiously, "What?"

I swallowed, "Whether I want to transform back into a human and then be turned again, or whether I want to go and ask Aro for the cure."

"And there is a choice there _where_?" She demanded.

"Bella..." I started when she cut me off.

"You're being naive if you think he's just going to hand it to you and call it quits, if you go your not leaving Volterra and you know it!" She shouted and I stood up, about to yell back when a small voice field the room and we all spun to see my son stood in the doorway, glass of water in hand and sleep in his eyes.

His eyes went between a shocked me and his almost crying in frustration mother.

"Where are you going dad?" He whispered and I swallowed, straightening up and praying that when I reopened my eyes it would all be a dream.

That prayer would have been more plausible if I had been able to sleep.


	20. The Fight

Edward POV

I swallowed and walked over to Charlie, "I'm not going anywhere, come on, go back to bed." I said and steered him back towards his bedroom. I tucked him in bed and sat down facing him; he sighed and looked at me sadly.

"Don't worry about it okay." I said formally and he looked me over.

"Why was mum so upset?" He asked anxiously.

I sighed, "She doesn't want me to leave, not that I'm going to, she just... wouldn't give me chance to explain."

He nodded in understanding and closed his eyes, but I could see he hadn't let the point go. I decided to give him an opportunity to speak to me about this when we were alone, without his mother joining in and voicing her own opinion.

"Are you coming with me and Alan on a walk tomorrow?" I asked him and he frowned, eyes still closed.

"Isn't that Chris's job?" he asked.

I chuckled, "They don't let Dogs walk dogs in the Olympic peninsula."

He laughed and fell asleep, I smiled and brushed some of his hair out of his face, and bent down to kiss his temple. I then stood up and left, shutting the door quietly behind me.

I trudged back downstairs to see Bella stood facing me, her arms folded and her eyes severe.

"Bella there isn't any other way..." I started but she cut me off by shouting, her tone enough to harden my resolve, her words doing nothing to help.

"You could stay, become human then change, stay and _provide_ for your family." She yelled.

I frowned, "Is that what this is really about then, some pent up aversion you have to the way I behave as a parent?"

"Do not turn this into something that it _isn't_!" She screamed.

I growled, "Not that you're doing a much better job."

"Oh please." She scoffed, "Is not about me..."

"Then what is it about then Bella?" I shouted and she growled in frustration, turning away from me as I continued to yell.

"Because if it _isn't_ about you, then I fail to see what seems to have you so interested, it's not as if I never cared for anyone or anything before I met you."

I regretted the words as soon as I said them, but instead of being hurt, if anything Bella just got madder.

"Is that supposed to make me feel bad?" She screamed, suddenly in my face.  
"Does it?" I demanded.

"_No_." She shouted.

"Well good, I'm so pleased that you have absolutely _no_ idea what it felt like to be in my shoes, when you were down on the reservation playing house with the wolf." I yelled.

"Do not bring Jacob into this, don't you _dare_!" She screamed and shoved me on the chest; I took a step back and caught her hands, her hair flying around her face as she tried to pull away from me.

"Let me go." She screamed and pulled away from me roughly.

"Tell me what you meant by that, not that it matters, he is _dead_." I snarled.

She spun to face me, "And you think I don't know that?"

"I don't think anything;_ I know_ your behaving like this because of something other than the fact that I am ill again." I shouted.

She growled, "I'm mad at the fact that you use Jacob for an excuse for everything, even now he is _gone_, I know that you're just bitter because you didn't do the job yourself."

"There is nothing bitter about the way I feel towards that _dog_." I growled in a low voice, "If anything, I'm _disappointed_ that I didn't do the job myself."

She was in my face again, "I'd never have been able to stomach the sight of you if you had, that blood on your hands would have never come off."

I growled in her face, "Good, then I wouldn't have had to wash; I would have kept it as a trophy if anything."

"Well then maybe you and your father deserve each other." She yelled and I snarled.  
"Would that make you happy, if I left to be one of the Volturi, would that _please_ you?" I demanded.

She growled, "Right now anything that didn't involve you would be religious."

There was a pause before I spat the word.

"_Fine_."

She looked at me harshly, tears in her eyes.

"If you walk out that door, you aren't staying here tonight."

I tilted my head slightly, "Well maybe I'll just take my suitcase."

She shouted after me as I marched towards the door, stopping with one hand on the handle.

"I hope you and your father are very happy together." She yelled, tears down her face.

I swallowed, "You know we won't, I love you." I whispered and closed the door behind me.


	21. Make ups and Break ups

Bella POV

Three days, three days eight hours and nineteen minutes.

That was how long ago Edward had left, since I made him leave.

My children couldn't understand our fight, there were too many blank patches of the story that I didn't want to fill in by myself. All I knew was that Edward was out there, probably with his father, growing weaker and weaker, unless Aro had given him the antidote, which I could not comprehend.

Even if he was Edward's biological dad, now was hardly the time to start playing the doting parent.

Edward was a grown man, in one way at least. He was a fantastic parent, and I regretted it now more than ever what I said to him.

No one, no matter who they were or who they had wronged deserved to be spoken to like that. Not even spoken to, I had _shouted_.

Tears poured down my face and I swallowed, taking a stuttering breath and wiping them away. I only had my self to blame, I was not enough of a hypocrite to allow myself to feel bad for Bella Cullen, or was it Bella Swan now.

"Bring him back." I whispered to the sky where I was sat on the windowsill looking up out of the stars in our bedroom.

"Please." I breathed and sniffed, leaning my head back against the frame of it, "Please just bring him back to me."

"Bella." Someone's low voice said form behind me. I caught sight of the reflection in the glass of the window and gasped, spinning to look the person in the eyes.

He seemed perfectly relaxed, stood in front of the now open door, a door I was pretty sure I had locked. But in a way he was tense, his body rigid and unnecessary breathing like stutters, but as my eyes glanced him over again, I realised that maybe his breathing _was_ necessary, his whole body seemed on edge, and I was frightened for him.

"Edward?" I whispered and stood up, my tone telling him that I almost did not beeline he was here.

"Your here." I breathed and he nodded, tears in his eyes. He swallowed and knelt down, holding my hips and pressing his face into my stomach.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered and I hushed him, stroking his hair, tears now coursing down my own face.

"We are both to blame." I breathed and he nodded, standing up and hugging me tight.

His body spoke more words and explanations that even eternity had time for. I knew that he had only considered leaving because he thought it would save me and his children, not because he wanted to.

Edward would always look out for his family before himself, and that was what often caused me to worry about him. I pulled away and cup his cheek as he opened his mouth to speak.

"You don't have to say anything." I whispered and he closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against my own.

"I should never have spoken to you like that." He whispered.

I shook my head and kissed him gently, "its okay, I too am sorry for what I said."

We stood like that for an immeasurable amount of time, me in his arms, both of us repeatedly apologising. We only broke apart when the phone rang and Esme shouted down the phone at Edward for almost giving her an anxiety attack. The sad thing was there was nothing about it that was hypothetical, Esme loved Edward as her son, she probably would have reacted the same way I would had Anthony or Charlie ran away.

Eventually we were holding hands as we walked down stairs, and after everyone had hugged and greeted Edward back again, it was silently decided that we would not over react for Charlie's sake. We would pretend that Edward had gone hunting, Renesmee told the rest of the family the story, so that no one was out of sync.

All of our family were in the living room, couples on each of the arm Chris, me and Edward on the sofa, Charlie on the other side of his father. Ellie was not in the room, she was out, and was missing curfew, not that Edward seemed to have missed that fact, he was clock watching, and in a way I was kind of frightened for her, his anger had been bottled up for a long time, and he would not take kindly to being disobeyed.

I had put Charlie to bed and was saying good night to Renesmee and my tier 'children' when I heard them.

"fine if you're not going to tell me where you were then answer this, whose the boy?" Edward shouted.

"What?" Ellie snapped. I walked to the top of the stairs to see them stood at the bottom, shouting at one another, oblivious to me.  
"You're a teenage girl, what guy has you infatuated so deep that you miss curfew?" Edward demanded.

"Its curfew dad, not a firing squad." She growled, "And besides I wasn't thinking..." She trailed off and Edwards eyes narrowed.

"Well you'll have plenty of time to think about it, because until further notice, you are grounded." He said and folded his arms; her eyes went as wide as mine.

"You can't be serious?" She laughed in disbelief and he nodded, his face telling her that there was nothing he was other than serious.

"I'm not a child dad..." She started but her cut her off.

"Stop behaving like one then."

She groaned and he raised one eyebrow. She sighed and folded her arms.  
"Well how long am I _grounded_ for then?" She demanded.

Edward shrugged, "Until you can behave." He said and went to walk upstairs.

"Dad that's not fair!" She shouted after him and he flew back down to tower over her.  
"No one may have ever said this to you but listen up, life i_sn't_ fair." He shouted.

She growled, "Oh I get it, that's what you think every time you hurt mum is it?" She screamed but clamped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide and full of tears. Edward took a step away from her like he'd been slapped.

"Dad..." She started and went to walk nearer but he took equal steps away.

"Dad I'm..."

"Just..." He growled, "Get out of my sight." He said and inched the bridge of his nose between his fire fingers. She nodded and flew past me, closing her bedroom door and crying into her pillow.

I turned back down stairs to see the room below empty.

"Edward?" I called and flew to the bottom, gasping when I heard the garage door open, and the roar of the Volvos engine get quieter.


	22. Losing them for Good

Bella POV

I felt cool wet lips touched my forehead and I groaned, rolling over in bed and rubbing my eyes.

"Edward?" I mumbled and felt the bed dip beside me; a marble body lie down beside me and wrap his arms around me. I snuggled into his chest and his lips touched my hair.

"Heya love." He whispered.

I moaned quietly and hugged him tighter to me, "What time is it?"

"Just gone three, it's raining." He told me. My eyelids fluttered and I frowned slightly, my vision blurred slightly against the darkness, god I missed being a vampire, a _full_ one.

"What have you been doing for eight hours?" I demanded tiredly.

Edward sighed and adjusted me slightly in his grip.

"I need some time to think, I also ran into some people from school that were being less than helpful." He told me.

"_Please_ tell me you didn't do anything stupid." I groaned.

I could almost hear him roll his eyes.

"Of course I didn't, I just very politely told some of the boys to get out of my way."

I sighed and snuggled back against his chest, "I love you."

He kissed my hair, "I love you to."

I smiled in response, and fell into some much needed rest.

When I woke up I had the feeling I was going to have a very anger management day.

"Edward how the hell do you work the effing computer?" I screamed from where I was sat in the kitchen, almost at the point of throwing the laptop across the room.

He entered behind me, leaning around me and pressing a few buttons, causing the screen to burst into life.

I frowned as I typed in my pass word, "What did you do?"

He sighed and kissed my hair, "I turned it _on_."

I frowned as he walked over to the ridge and poured me a drink of juice, handing it to me and setting about making my breakfast.

I frowned and scanned through our emails, my gaze the pinnacle of concentration.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he set my breakfast down, sitting beside me and opening up his paper.

I groaned when I read the first un-read email, "Oh crap."

"What is it?" Edward sighed, eyes not leaving the article he was reading.

I pressed my forehead into his shoulder and moaned quietly, wanting him to look at the email. He eventually sighed and looked at the screen, before frowning when he read it.

"You're over reacting." He stated and turned back to the article.

"No I'm not, it's a disaster." I complained and wrapped my arms tight around his neck, pressing my face into his shoulder.

He sighed, "What do you expect me to do about it?"

"Tell me that I'm pretty." I moaned.

He kissed my hair, "Your _beautiful_ Bella."

I sat back up beaming, clicking the appropriate buttons and spinning on my seat to grin at him, blimey my hormones were bad today.

Edward kissed my forehead gently and I was reminded of something that I was annoyed about, for it should have been at the fore front of my mind.

"How are you feeling?" I whispered and stroked his forehead.

He shrugged and glanced at me, smiling quickly.

"I'm fine, I'm not getting any worse, Carlisle said I should just take it easy; then it won't spread nearly as fast."

My eyebrows furrowed, "You spoke to Carlisle?"

Edward nodded, "He says that me becoming human then changing again is the best option, it will also give us the advantage in battle, if that's what it turns in to."

"What about Charlie?" I asked and Edward sighed.

"He'll be fully aged by then Edward, how do we keep him out of it?" I was starting to get myself worked up, and Edward hushed me, pulling me into a hug.

He kissed my temple, "Esme will stay with our children and Aimee, as well as Chris, they'll be safe."

I swallowed, "At least now we know why Aro was so intent of having you with him." He stroked my cheek and touched his forehead to mine.

"I love you, you know that?" He whispered.

My breathing hitched, "What does that mean?"

He hushed me and pulled me back into a hug.

"It means that no matter what happens, you have to keep on living for our children, for me."

I swallowed and shook my head, "I can't live without you."

He ran his fingers through my hair and clamed me quietly.

"What if we can't win?" I demanded and he sighed, pulling back to look at me sadly.

"It's just another question I don't know the answer to." He breathed and I kissed him gently, just as Charlie entered, mumbling something under his breath and grabbing the juice from the fridge.

He unscrewed the lid and lifted it slightly, just as Edward interrupted.

"You'd better be about to get a glass for that." He said firmly, eyes now back on his paper.

Charlie muttered something even vampire hearing couldn't make out and begrudgingly poured it out in front of his father, who glanced up and then back down again.

"Thank you." Edward said and Charlie smirked, sitting across from us and during his juice slowly, I could tell he was tired.

"Do you want to go in my car to school today?" I asked him and handed him a plate of toast from the rack in the centre of the table. It was only is awake, well _up_, it took my eldest children and their partners a little longer to get ready in the morning.

Charlie shook his head, "Dad has to take me thanks, he promised he would."

Edward nodded and I frowned. I wanted Edward to stay home so hopefully he would have to talk to Ellie, whom he hadn't spoken to in that time at all.

None of us knew _why_ she had been sneaking out, only that it was to see a boy, we didn't even know _which one_, which annoyed Edward more than anything.

"Go and brush your teeth then we'll be leaving." Edward informed his son and stood up, knowing what I was about to say.

Charlie ran to do as his father bid him, as Edward cleared away the plates and walked over to the sink and began washing the, I ran my arms around his waist from behind and kissed between his shoulder blades.

"Darling we can't lose her now." I breathed, "We need her _here_ and _safe_."

He growled, "That's _exactly_ why I grounded her."

I sighed, "But we need to know who the boy is...?"

"I'm working on it." Edward said shortly and staked the plates beside the sink, letting the water drain away just as Charlie dashed towards the door.

"You can't avoid her forever Edward." I whispered.

He stiffened and wiped his hands on his jeans. He kissed my cheek and grabbed his keys, leaving only two words in the silence that he left.

"_Watch me_."

Ellie dashed down the stairs after him on her phone without even a 'hey mum' in my direction. I sighed and sniffed, now feeling more than ever that I was losing my children.

The frightening thing was that _this_ time.

It might be for _good._


	23. Not Needing You

**Heya guys, so I won't be able to update Saturday and maybe not Sunday, but there will be more before then and I will be back on Monday! Xx**

**This chapter is dedicated to XTeamAliceCullenX who generously dedicated one to me and I only just realised, (sorry for that BTW)**

**Anyway her cousin isn't very well so please read her story as thanks, if you are the cousin reading this, GET WELL SOON! Xx**

Bella POV

I pulled up at school and sighed, opening the door and leaving the car for once on my own. It felt strange not having Edward to hold my hand and whisper sweet nothings in my ear, but I knew although I didn't remember, that there had been a time when Edward _hadn't_ been there to do it.

Edward and I rarely spoke about the time he left when one of us was not either crying or angry; we had seldom mentioned it to one another when emotions hadn't been high.

I could not see it being any other way, there was not a chance I could make it through one conversation about that without crying, or shooting, or both.

I sighed and walked into first period, amazed to see Edward already in his seat. Normally he would wait for me outside, so I wondered what would make him just wait in here.

I was also concerned at the way he was gripping the fountain pen in his hand. My heart raced at the thought that something had happened with Charlie, but I knew that was impossible, if there had been something like that, Edward wouldn't be here.

"What's wrong?" I demanded as I sat beside him.

He growled and swallowed back an acidic remark I assumed, for when he spoke, it was for more composed than his overall body posture.

"I know who Ellie has been sneaking off to see."

I frowned, "Who?"

He swallowed, "I'll show you." He growled and pulled me by the hand through the corridors, filling up with people on their way to class, for there was still half an hour before the bell rung.

He dragged me to the cafeteria, where I saw my daughter stood with her arms around some boy, who looked no stranger to some kind of plant...

Edward dropped my hand as the boy leant down to kiss Ellie, but they fell apart as Ellie caught sight of me and her father.  
"Dad..." She gasped but Edward had seen enough. He stormed over to the boy and punched him square in the jaw.

He fell to the ground and tried to push Edward away but my husband held him pinned by the collar, repeatedly smacking him across the face until the point that I was amazed he was till conscience.

"Edward!" I cried and went to pull him off of the boy when Mr Green walked in.

"What the hell is going on here?" He shouted and Edward pulled away from the boy, well, he was being held back by me, having to pretend to be human.

"Cullen, Barnes down to my office now!" He shouted and Ben... I now remembered his name went to cross the rom when he passed Edward and they both lunged for one another.  
"Don't... please." I whispered and held him tighter.

Edward nodded and stored past Ben, the other boy following in between him and MR Green.

I turned to my daughter who looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Thanks a lot mum." She said and went to leave when I caught her arm.

"This is your and you fathers argument don't you dare involve me." I said firmly and she started at me shocked.

"Your my _mum_ you _are_ involved." She said and I swallowed, knowing what I had just said.

She yanked her arm away, "You know what forget it, you're right." She said and turned away.  
"Ellie please?" I called after her a she picked her bag and glared at me, angry tears in her eyes.

"I don't need you nay more mum, you _or_ dad." She yelled and stormed out, tears falling down my face, as I slumped onto the floor, hand on my throat, tight feeling in my stomach.

**New pictures on the profile from SPRING FLING, there are also other ones to check out. xx**


	24. Argument

**Heya guys, sorry that I haven't updated in a few days and because fan fiction wasn't working, but anyway, this goes out to all of you nice readers, hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think in a review, they are much appreciated! **

**Also every time I upload a chapter there **_**should**_** be a YouTube video to go with it, so **_**enjoy**_**! Xx**

**Links on profile xx**

Renesmee POV

I walked up the steps to see mum and dad in the middle of a blazing row. She was screaming and pointing and had tears pouring down her face. Dad had a face that was as close to furious that I had seen on him, well, I had seen worse, and it had unfortunately been directed at me.

"She's lonely Edward why can't you see that?" She screamed and dads face flickered with hurt, but it was covered with anger so quickly that I doubted as to whether I had actually seen it.

"It doesn't give her the right to shove her tongue down every available boy's throat!" He shouted and mum growled.

"Well it surely gives her the opportunity?"

Dad frowned and his tone was defiant, "Not in this house."

"What?" Mum demanded.

"I managed fine on my own for a hundred years, she's been without a partner for three months, and even when she had one it wasn't exactly harmonious." Dad snapped.

"Well I know what that feels like." Mum yelled.

"It's not as if you know anything about being on your own, even when we were engaged you were perfectly fine to seek danger in Jacob's arms and god knows what else." Dad shouted and mum snarled, slapping her hand hard across his face.

Silence fell over the house, only marred by mine and my parent's unnecessary breathing.

Dad straightened up as mum stared at him, tears pouring down her face.

"If you don't know me better than that, then you never knew me at all." She breathed.

Dad dint say anything, but his eyes sowed that fact that he felt what he said had been the truth, and just because she had slapped him, he wasn't going to take it back.

"You fell in love with him." He said simply.

Mum shook her head, but didn't deny it, "I tried so hard not to."

Dad took a stuttering breath, "Well at least you now admit it."

Mums eyes snapped up, "How could I?"

Dad was quiet but the spoke, "It makes no difference now, he's _dead_." He spat and mum hissed quietly.

"We are off base, don't pretend you dint realise, tell me why you're intent on punishing your daughter, _our_ daughter?" She demanded.

Dad paused and mum got tired of waiting very quickly.

"Well?" She demanded.

There was a pause before mum went to speak again, but dad cut her off, and what he said, made all of us do a double take.

"As long as she's here with this behaviour, I can't be." He said evenly.

Mum swallowed, "What?"

"You heard me." He replied with black eyes, my own tears fell down my face but I quickly brushed them away, not wanting them to notice me.

"So that's it is it?" Mum demanded, "You're going to turn and run, flee like you do whenever things get scary."

"There is nothing scary about this..." Dad started but she caught him out, knowing what he was trying to get her _not_ to say, or spot.

"Your frightened of what is happening to you, frightened that if you fall back a human you won't be the same, and I won't love you, your scared that you might actually die because of the organ you lost when you gave to Ellie, you're scared that you might lose us all." Mum shouted and dad was silent once again.

He swallowed, "Are you not scared of the same thing?"

Mum was quiet but nodded, causing dad to sigh.

"I just... I can't deal with it." He said and went to turn to leave when she shouted after him, eyes tight on her hands where her fingers were skimming over her wedding ring.

"You're scared that you children do not need you anymore." She shouted.

Dad spun and shook his head, mum looked confused.

"I'm scared that_ you_ don't seem to need me anymore." He breathed, stroking her cheek regrettably as she looked up at him with wide and teary eyes.

"You can't even deny it." He whispered more to himself than anyone else.

Mum shook her head and was about to object but he cut her off by hushing her.

"Is alright, people grow a part in time." He breathed and swallowed back his own tears.

"I'll go." He said as she started to speak once more, "I'll leave and they will never bother you again."

She gulped, "I'll come with you, Edward I love you more than anything just _please_." She whispered and pressed her face into his chest.

"Please my love, if this is what you want, just please don't leave me." She breathed.

Dad kissed her hair and stroked her shoulder. She straightened up to look at him but he shook his head.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and turned to walk away when she caught his arm.

"If you walk out that door, I will only follow you, I promised you on our wedding day that I would cross the ends of the earth to find you." She whispered.

There door bell rang and we all spun; me only then just being noticed by dad, with his eyes anyway.

"Stay here." He growled and went to walk out of the door, of course me and mum both followed.

Dad opened the door and growled, mum gasping and pulling me into her side, just as the rest of the family appeared behind us.

Heidi flicked her hair and batted her eyelashes at dad, her words making mum lunge through dad's arms and send both of them flying off of the step and into the air.

"_Hey Edward, want to go for a walk?"_


	25. Zara

**Renesmee POV**

Before mum could take a step to launch herself at Heidi dad had his arms around her and was dragging her back up the stairs.

"Let go of me." She growled over and over again, and I listened as he slammed the bedroom door behind them and they started to shout at one another over and over again, although from what I could make out, it seemed like dad was trying to calm her more than anything.

"I thought you were trying to help us, why would you do that?" I demanded at the vampire and Chris did his best to calm me, but like mum it seemed, I was just about capable of ignoring him pleasantly.

Mum was doing nothing of the sort with dad, she was full blown screaming at him, but even I could see that that wasn't going to solve anything. If anything, it was just going to prove dad right, not that she would admit it.

Heidi laughed and folded her arms, "You think they're divided over this, something is coming, something that will shake their relationship even more."

I frowned and so did Chris.

"What do you mean?" my fiancée asked.

Heidi shrugged, "You'll see soon enough." And with that statement she was gone.

I looked at Chris for answers when mums voice filled the house, closely flowed by dads.

"I don't need you to tell me what to do?" Mum screamed.

Then came the shortest pause I have ever heard from dad.

"Fine." Dad yelled and suddenly appeared storming down the stairs.

Mum followed him and appeared at the top of the stairs, shouting profanities at him.

"Edward where are you going?" She screamed.

Dad spun just as he grabbed his keys.

"Honestly?" He demanded and she nodded, tears in her eyes.

Dad's words came out of his mouth as a growl.

"Anywhere away from _you_!" He snarled and stormed from the house.

Mum swallowed and folded her arms over her chest, tears rolling down her cheeks. She turned to look at us and froze, almost as though she were embarrassed and hurt we had been watching.

"Don't say anything..." She sobbed, "Just... just _don't._"

She went to run upstairs but I shouted after her, racing after her to comfort her.

**Edward POV**

My hands were tight on the steering wheel as I drove forwards away from the house. I was driving so fast that even I couldn't see the trees I was passing. The outside was completely dark, and after the day at school I had endured, and the argument with my wife, everything seemed to be pressing on my conscience like I was suffocating.

The tyres screamed in protest as we shot around the corner, and I found myself physically leaning in my seat to stop the car rolling. My eyes were narrow slits, dry tears making my twenty twenty vision more impaired than I could ever remember t being.

I screamed around the corner and gasped, pinning the car off of the road just as an equally large car shot towards me. I heard the slam of breaks and the whoosh as the car I had avoided shot off of the road and towards the trees.

I gasped when the land rover cured itself partially around an oak, and I was out of it before it had even fully stopped. Fortunately, or unfortunately, so was the person from the land rover.

"What the hell?" She screamed at me, her brown hair flying everywhere, eyes wide and partially marred by tears.

"I am so sorry, are you hurt?" I demanded and rushed forwards, at a just passable human pace.

"Yes actually, _fortunately _I was _thrown _from the car _before_ it hit the tree." She snapped.

I swallowed and picked up the hand bag that was strewn on the floor before handing it to her.

"Thank you." She snapped and began rushing through it.

"Shall we except insurance..." I started but she moaned and chucked the bag back on the floor.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

She folded her arms, and I noticed then just how little clothes she was wearing.

"My phones come out of my hand bag, how the _hell_ am I supposed to phone the RAC now?" She shouted.

I sighed, knowing just how much this would upset my wife, but I couldn't see how else to make it right.

"Look how about this, I'll take you back to my house, you can use my phone and warm up, and then we can exchange insurance details." I offered.

She frowned, "Just you and me?"

I shook my head, "I live with my family."

How naive was she, she was no older than me, maybe even younger, she really expected me to be living on my own. I looked seventeen for Christ sake!

Finally the girl nodded just as it started to rain. I nodded and she followed me to the Volvo, i held the door open for her and she nodded a thank you at me, climbing in and folding her arms, looking straight ahead.

We drove almost all the way in silence, before I decided to break it. It wasn't the comfortable silence I was used to with my wife; it was the silence that _was_ awkward.

"What's your name?" I asked.

There was a pause.

"Zara." She said.

I nodded, "I'm Edward."

She smiled at me, and it was a smile that un-nerved me.

"Oh I know." She said and her face gleamed in the light of a passing street lamp.

**Heya guys sorry I haven't updated in a while, fan fiction wasn't working but it is now (hooray) as soon as this is posted I'm going to start on the following chapter, please review this one though. I only write for your reviews. xx **


	26. Blackness

Edward POV

I gestured for Zara to walk up the steps of the main house. Her eyes were wide at the size of it, and she still hadn't told me how she knew who I was. I also couldn't read her mind, well I could, but it was like looking through murky waters, and the strain I was starting to feel in my skull was making me dizzy.

I knew that I should not be out in the rain while putting this much strain on my body. I was battling an illness that I was unsure was getting any worse.

I walked up the stairs after her and watched anxiously as she took in the rest of the family. Bella was not there, but I was more than certain that it was her I could hear upstairs.

I swallowed, feeling quite weak stood up. I blinked against the harsh light and I saw Carlisle walk over to me.

"You need to sit down." He told me and led me to sit down.

I could see, without having to concentrate on her mind that Zara was looking to make a cutting remark about how _my_ car hadn't been smashed up. But something in the eyes of my family was stopping her form doing it.

I swallowed and leant back in the sofa, rubbing my neck, where I could feel an almost bruise forming.

"This is Zara, she needs to use our phone to call the RAC, and we had a... _collision_." I said and sighed, shutting my eyes and leaning back in the sofa. I shook my head when Esme went to fuss but I brushed her gently, if anything I just wanted Bella to comfort me, not my _mother_.

"Where's Bella?" I asked as Jasper showed Zara the phone, he watched her anxiously, and for once I was intrigued as to what she looked like. I opened my eyes against the white light and focused on her, the red dress she wore clung to every contour of her body, and her hair hung down her back. I blinked my eyes against the light; in my mind the girl transformed into a person I would know anywhere.

My imaginary wife, for that was what she was, turned and winked at me, walking towards me.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

My eyes snapped back open and I gasped quietly, so I was hallucinating now, _great._

I swallowed and shook my head, "it's okay, I'm okay."

I heard movemtny upstairs and walked up them, wanting to break down and cry, wanting to cry and tell my wife just how scared I was of what was happening to me.

But when I saw her face, and heard the words she screamed at me, I knew that doing that was out of the question.

"Who the hell is Zara?" She screamed.

That was all i remembered before it all went black.

**Heya guys I know that this is really short but I'm about to upload a new ff which I will be finishing the first chapter of after I post this, please check it out xx **


	27. Shaken

Bella POV

I thought my head was going to explode from the suppressed scream that was bubbling in the back of my throat.

"Carlisle!" I yelled and no sooner had the words left my mouth but he was there. I was pulled away from Edwards fallen body and held tight in arms that could only belong to Emmet.

"Let go of me." I shouted and began to sob as my father in law moved over my husband's body.

Carlisle bent his ear over Edwards mouth and stiffened, moving at a flying pace. He ripped open Edwards shirt an began to do CPR, muttering agonised words of plea at Edwards lifeless body.

After what seemed to be a lifetime, as Carlisle's hands pushed down on Edwards ribs for a final time, my husband's body choked out a cough and a small drop of venom fell from his mouth.

Carlisle rolled him gently onto his side and glanced at me. The whole house was silent but loud with relief as I knelt beside Edward. His eyes were closed and his face seemed in pain as he continued to choke up more and more venom.

I knelt in Carlisle place and sniffed, reaching behind Edward to rub his back, aiding him to retch up more of the fluid that was choking him.

"Bella." He coughed and I swallowed back a sob, hearing his weak and agonized voice.

"It's okay, I'm here." I whispered, clutching at straws not to break down, and failing miserably.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered and leant my forehead against his.

He hushed me weekly and his hand moved slightly to stroke my arm. I straightened up and stoked his arm, telling him to stay still.

He sighed, "I'm so tired...I shouldn't... feel like that." He said sadly.

I hushed him, "You need to asleep." I whispered and he swallowed.

"Okay." He whispered and I kissed his forehead.

"I love you." I whispered.

He smiled for the briefest of seconds, "I love you to."

It was all silent for a few more minutes as everyone stood around, watching me as I stroked Edwards hair as he slept. It was all silent for a few minutes, until Carlisle came to crouch behind me, touching my shoulder gently.

"We need to get him in bed." He breathed.

I nodded; my eyes still on my husband. I remained crouching on the floor as Carlisle motioned for Emmet and Jasper to lift Edward, I also watched as they carried him to our room. I shakily stood up, running my hands though my hair, making to follow when Esme stopped me gently.

"Should I tell Renesmee and Anthony... what about Charlie?" She asked quietly.

I nodded and she smiled softly, pulling me into a hug. I started to cry and she hushed me, rubbing my back with so much sympathy that anyone would think Edward was already dead.

I regretted the words, even when they were safe in my own head.

"I should get him some water." I sniffed and pulled away.

Esme nodded and I felt her eyes on my back as I shakily walked down the stirs and towards the kitchen, but I was stopped dead in my tracks by a figure putting the phone away in the holder by Edwards piano.

I frowned, tears still in my eyes.

"Who are you?"I demanded.

She smiled kindly, I didn't need her pity, or her friendship. My whole life was lying broken in a bed upstairs, holding onto what strength he had like his life depended on it. The tragedy was, his life really _did_, depend on that.

"I'm Zara, Edward crashed into me earlier this evening, he took me here so I could phone the RAC, they are coming to pick me up in about half an hour." She said.

I frowned as she took a step closer to me. She was beautiful, with wide brown eyes and brown hair, she seemed precious and untainted, everything I once _had_ been.

It was so Edward o help a woman in need, even in the mood he had been in when he had driven off earlier that evening. Even in the mood I had _put_ him in.

Zara took another step towards me, cutting off my thoughts about just how much the crash and weather had affected Edward, as well as our argument.

Even with her in such close range, and my emotions so in whack, I couldn't help the guilt that was threatening to lurch into spiral mode.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Make yourself at home; I'm just going to..." I swallowed and walked towards the kitchen.

"It's okay you know, to be unnerved by me." She said and I frowned turning around.

I scoffed, "I'm not scared of you." I was a vampire for Christ sake, as soon as she knew that, she too would laugh at the irony of her words.

Not that I wanted her in my life or my fmailys or any longer than the next half an hour. But something about the way she spoke, in truth it _did_ unnerve me.

"Bella I know what you are." She said and I froze, trying to remember or work out whether Edward could have mentioned my name, or whether I had introduced myself in that way.

After a second of deliberation I knew I hadn't, and I became instantly on edge.

"Who are you?" I demanded just as my children burst through the door.

Aimee appeared first and the jolt of the door send shivers through the house it was opened that quickly.

I screamed as the chandelier broke and plummeted towards the ground, Aimee stood directly under it. I leant to run forwards when we all gasped, the chandelier hanging in mid air, not tow foot above my daughter in laws head.

There was perfect silence as we all turned to look at Zara, her hand held out towards the light fitting.

She turned to me with narrowed eyes.

"In answer to your earlier question Bella, I'm a witch."

**Edward and Bella in peril... oooh, cliff-hanger I know... but oh well. I have decided to postpone the release of my new story because I'm so excited about this one. To keep you going there are new YouTube links on my profile, please watch and review! xx**


	28. Miriacles

Bella POV

I swallowed and shook my head as the rest of the family remained frozen.

"I can't deal with this." I breathed and grabbed a glass from the glass cabinet, storming into the kitchen and filling the glass up with water.

I heard someone enter behind me but I ignored them, my mind whirring over the possibility of who was stood in the front room.

"Mum she can't be..." Ant said.

I swallowed, letting the glass over flow, for I couldn't find it in me to move.

"She is Ant, and she needs to _leave_." I said and spun, making to return to the lounge to kick her out when he caught my arm.

"Mum she might be able to help us, she could stop the Volturi." He started but I cut him off.

"I can't deal with this Anthony; I can't have her here doing... _this_..." I raved and trailed off, tears in my eyes.

"What do you mean _this_?" He demanded.

"Your father almost died tonight!" I screamed and he froze, looking at me like I'd just announced something of a bombshell.

I almost laughed at myself, poor naive little Bella, that's exactly what I _had_ done.

Edward needed me now, and I couldn't waste it on some random slut in the living room.

"I almost lost him." I added more quietly.

"I don't want her anywhere near our family Anthony." I said and he nodded, letting me go back into the lounge.

I look Zara over and she swallowed, nodding her head before leaving. All I knew was that even if I had no idea who she was, or _what_ she was capable of.

But I knew I didn't care.

The rest of the family watched me as I walked upstairs and entered mine and Edwards room. I heard Carlisle follow me and pick up his doctors bag from where it had been beside his bed.

I sat facing Edward, running my hand down his cheek, astonished to find that it was warm, _burning._ He also had a thin sheen of sweat over his entire face, and he seemed to be fighting to keep his breathing steady.

I hushed him and kissed his temple.  
"Sleep Edward." I whispered.

Carlisle touched my shoulder, although my eyes looked no where other than on Edward.

"His fever should break in a few hours; I'll be in my study if you need me." He told me gently.

I nodded, "He's not going to get any better."

It was a statement, not a question. Edward seemed to have got worse if anything, he looked so fragile. His eyes were closed and he had dark rings under them, not in the way that I was used to.

Instead of bruises they were like bags, dark and deep with tired.

I stroked his forehead and Carlisle swallowed.

"I don't know Bella, I wish I did. But at the moment, it seemed like he is well on the path to transforming back into a human."

"But he only has one lung; he won't be able to function as a human." I started, looking at my father in law for the first time since we had both entered the room.

Carlisle swallowed and shook his head, "All we can do is pray for a miracle."

I shook my head, looking down at my hands where they were holding ne of Edward tightly.

"I don't believe in miracles." I mumbled.

Carlisle touched my shoulder again, "In light of what happened down stairs, I think we all need to broaden our minds, don't you."

He left the question hinging in the hair and I couldn't find it anywhere in me to answer.

"Shout if you need me." He said and left.

I swallowed and looked down at Edward, watching as his serene face, although marred with pain, remained totally still. I found myself subconsciously praying for him to get better, but I stopped that immediately.

What I had said to Carlisle had been the truth, and the last time I had been to church... it hadn't ended very well.

That though put a lump in my throat, but not because the priest had been killed by me, it was because I was so frightened, frightened that if I ever did slip up again, Edward wouldn't be there to make it all better again.

"You know I've been thinking." I whispered eyes down on his face, tears in them.

"Maybe when your better, I and you should go away for a while; I mean I know with Aro intent on being a father all of a sudden it might not be appropriate, but I know that we deserve it." I breathed and swallowed.

"Please get better Edward; I need you to show me with to do, how to be a good parent, all of those things. And how to turn the computer on." I laughed tearily at the end and sniffed.

"Edward I need you, so _please_, _please_ just get better." I whispered.

There was a muffled groan from under me and my eyes snapped open to see Edward back arching and his brows furrowing, as though he was in some deep inner pain. And his face looked as though he was on fire.

"Carlisle!" I screamed and stood up, holding Edwards hand tight in mine as he continued to cry out and groan, body shaking as though and earthquake was wracking round the house. Carlisle ran into the room then and I looked at him pleadingly, before back at Edward.

"Hold on Edward, hold on." I sobbed just as a blood curdling scream left my husband lungs.


	29. Piano man

Bella POV

Emmet had his arms around me before I could so much as glance at Carlisle, who was stood in my place working over my husband. Edward was pleading, pleading for someone to just kill him, pleading for them to make it stop. I was sobbing, feeling the hole in my chest that went with anything related to Edward and pain about to burst open.

I didn't realise I was being pulled from the room until Edward was no longer in my view.

"Let go of me, I need to be with him." I kicked and screamed, fighting pointlessly against Emmet. Strangely for my bear of a brother, he remained silent, and just continued to drag me from mine and Edward's old room.

"Emmet let me go." I growled, suddenly aware that we were now in the cottage. I was dragged through the house, no longer kicking and screaming, just crying.

Emmet then pushed me gently into Edwards study, shutting the door behind him and locking it. I knew he was holding the door closed because even when I banged against it repeatedly it wouldn't budge, not even with my half vampire strength.

"Let me out." I sobbed and sunk to the floor, leaning back against the door as I sat on the floor, sobbing into my hands.

I heard Emmet walk away but I smelt something else, and I knew Jasper had joined him in keeping me away from the main house.

They didn't understand, no matter how upsetting it was to watch what Carlisle was doing, I couldn't leave Edward. He had held my hand through every painful thing I'd had to go through.

That counted when I had his children, when I was shot not three weeks ago, and when Charlie died.

We hadn't been able to attend his funeral, for Sue had organised it so it was on the reservation, and none of the wolves would give us a free pass to go and say goodbye.

It was not even like what I had asked was the unreasonable, he was my father, and I only asked for Edward to come with me.

I sniffed and stood up, walking through Edwards study as if in a dream. I became intrigued by everything around me, and despite having built the room; I had never spent any time in here without Edward being present. I ran my hand over everything, feeling the texture of the hundreds of books and discs that lined the walls.

I swallowed as I scanned the many sheets of discarded music paper that lay littered on the floor around his piano, which was situated at the end of the room against the glass wall.

I watched as the early morning sun danced over the keys, and if I looked hard enough, I could see his finger prints on them.

There was no dust anywhere, and I feared, that if I did lose Edward, there would be nothing stopping me just closing this door forever, stopping me forgetting.

I let out a stuttering sigh and sniffed, moving to stand in front of his desk.

Having spent no time in here to look over his private belongings, if began to scour everything in the drawers. I frowned when I lifted the bottom of the shelf out and found one leather bound book.

I lifted it out an examined it in my hands.

It was old, the pages crinkled, and random pieces of paper shoved in at random pages.

I stood up and walked back over to the piano, where the light was most clear to allow me to read. There was something almost human in my action. Although I was not a full vampire, my eyesight was a way inclined that meant I could see the pages and his script most clearly, but it felt to intrusive to turn the light on, and I found myself drawn to the window, as though I expected to see him in the garden, looking up at me and smiling.

I swallowed and opened the book, flicking through the pages. My actions however small, caused a folded piece of sheet music to land on the floor.

I frowned and picked it up, seeing words that made my heart contract.

_Ellies Lullaby, final version._

The paper had his writing all over it, and different from my lullaby or even Renesmee's, there were a lyrics along the bottom.

Drawn to the piano as I was, I placed the journal on top of it, and sat down in front of he keys. I though back as I unfolded the piece of paper and stood it on the music stand, my fingers spreading over the keys with the lightest of touches.

I almost smiled at the many times Edward had tried to teach me to play. I remembered his words, so patient yet amused, and when I remembered, it was as if he were sat beside me on the stool.

I closed my eyes, feeling as his breath danced on the skin under my ear.

"Eight notes in an octave, more than one notes in a chord, it really is quite simple."

His voice, so soft and calm, made the ivory and black keys under my fingers almost disappear, after all, anything would seem insignificant next to his voice.

"Bella." His voice chuckled and I smiled, eyes still closed the image only real in my head.

My smile grew slightly wider as he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and kissed my temple.

"Remember." He whispered and I swallowed, gently lifting my eyes open.

As I knew would happen, my Edward disappeared. I was almost in the room, and the sun had risen higher in the sky, showing a small amount of dust floating in the air, and settling on the piano.

I turned back to the keys in front of me and once again placed my fingers in the correct place.

"Remember." I whispered and began to play.

And when I played, it was as if he was sat right there with me.

**Heya guys, thank you to everyone who reviewed. **

**There are two more links for you to check out on my profile, the first is to go with the day dream Bella has during this chapter, and the second is the song that Edward writes for Ellie. Xx**


	30. Journal

Bella POV

I had not moved in over three hours, and I didn't intend to put up a fight to see Edward, although the longing was very there in my heart, I wanted to be strong enough, to be able to prove to myself that I knew and trusted Carlisle, that I knew he would make it all better.

So I was reading, sat in an arm chair by the glass wall, the sun now high in the sky above, reading Edwards journal. I found that he had not written often, and there was nothing threw the century we had been together about all the places we had lived.

His words and memories were centred on Forks and his family, spanning from the time we met, up to the present day.

The entries made my heart contact, ant the tears had been falling as long as I had been sitting there.

I swallowed and turned the page, my eyes scanning the words, mouth a heart broken line.

'_I was given this journal a long time ago, a _really_ long time ago. I was told by my wife that i had to right in it every day, and refer to it as dear diary. I don't see the point in writing to a book, I have my wife to talk to about all of my problems, she is my rock._

_But all relationships have rough patches I suppose, and no one can tell everyone everything. I think I forget that sometimes, that's why we fight so much._

_Well maybe fight is a too strong a word, we argue a lot, but I don't think we have ever fought._

_Okay scratch that, I know we have fought._

_We fight all the time, we shun and repress one another, and more often than not we simply ignore one another. Forever shouldn't be this stressful._

_Ever since Ellie died, I thought we'd never have any more kids; in fact I was almost certain of it._

_It seemed an almost punishment from god, that he had take her because I had silly got greedy._

_Not only did I covert Bella, I took her and turned her, not only that, but I made my children monsters, and by having them, by them being _alive_, I was threatening to covert more people._

_When we lost baby number four, I thought we would never get over it. She would let me comfort her, let me touch and hold her when she cried, we even had sex more._

_But the way Bella looked at me, her eyes pleading with me to make it all okay, she was alive, and for the most part she seemed happy. But every now and then I would see it, catch the glint of sadness in her eyes, a glint that I knew was only mirrored by the failure in my own._

_Even I, with three maths degrees could not calculate the number of times I had failed Bella, all the times I had let her down._

_There are no words to describe just how vital it is that I remain strong for her, she's too much like me, bottling away all of the feelings we don't want to admit are there, the same goes for the memories._

_Watching my son walk down the aisle, was perhaps one of the happiest days of my life, watching him laugh and cry, the same for all of my children. Great days were when Ellie returned to us, when Renesmee first learnt to walk, when they all said _daddy_ for the first time, even when Charlie sr. gave me permission to merry his daughter._

_Other days that I keep close are the days where my children smile and tell me they love me, days when I know they still need me._

_But all children grow up, and there are days when they _don't_ need me or their mother, when they simply are their own people, whether they be married engaged or dating, they aren't children. _

_They don't need me most of the time, and that's why it's simply not an option for them to die instead of me. I can't lose them whatever, but living knowing they are alive, trumps living knowing they are dead any day of forever._

_Bella, all the times I've failed her, all the times what I've done simply hasn't been good enough._

_Again there is no adjective in any language spoken by any person that can sum up what she means to me._

_Losing her, losing anyone to the illness that threatens to take me would kill me if the disease wasn't already. But knowing that if I close my eyes and never open them again, that all I will have is the memory, it's the memories that are important, for they shape out minds and our knowledge._

_I tried to leave, try to run from the problem, but we can't run from everything._

_Sooner or later it will catch up with us, and we simply have to turn around and give in._

_Whether Aro is my father or whoever it was, I will _not_ be his son, I can't be that._

_The only way I can see is to just let them all go, to give in and make it easier for everyone by just not being there, by just remaining and remembering._

_Remembering her.'_

I closed thebook and ran my palm over it, feeling the cool leather under my skin. I brought it up to my lips and kissed the front gently, resting it against my forehead and letting out a soft and sad sigh.

I dint move as the door opened, only when a small voice called my name did I look up from the other side of the room.

Esme stood in the doorway, looking at me softly, her eyes showed no trace of venom tears and I frowned internally, this was either a really good thing, or a really bad thing. Bt when she spoke, I got no inclination which one it was, because in fact, there was no emotion in her voice at all, maybe even a small glimmer of hope, but I didn't dwell on it enough to be cut down if I imagined it.

"He's awake."


	31. Waking up

Bella POV

My steps were slow and careful as I walked up the stairs of the main house. Thank full the rest of the family had allowed me to make this important discovery by myself, or at the very least, allowed me to talk to Carlisle privately while I gave my husband the once over.

I doubted very much that I would _not_ cry, for I knew that when I saw Edward, and if he spoke, I would break down almost immediately.

I climbed the last flight of stairs and pushed open the door to see him lying on his back, face calm, eyes closed. He looked exactly the same as he had done when I last saw him, only this time, he was not sweating or crying.

He also was not screaming in pain, but I did not want to think that memory over more than was actually necessary.

I went and sat down facing him, kissing his dry but clammy forehead and stroking his cheek, whispering that I loved him and that I promised he would get better.

"Bella." Carlisle said gently from behind me.

I swallowed, eyes still on Edward, my tone more a sob than anything else.

"How is he?" I demanded.

Carlisle sighed and stood behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders gently.

"He is stable."

I had to hand it to my father in law, his bed side manner was exactly what I needed, but like all bed side manner, there was no hope where there shouldn't be, there was sadness, for his son I supposed.

It had often been a puzzle to me just how Edward could be certain that vampire's didnt have souls. We were like every other family except we didn't age and waked the earth trying to quench a never ending thirst for human blood...

I shook my head, both to myself and Carlisle.

Carlisle rubbed my shoulders and spoke the words I wanted to hear, but not from him.

"I'm sure he will be fine Bella, he's a fighter."

I swallowed, "But we don't know what he's fighting."

Carlisle shook his head, "I know."

"What about if he _does _turn human..." I started to rave over the worry that was in my mind all of the time, and I knew that this was not the first time in two days I had demanded some kind of solace form Carlisle.

But my father in law simply shook his head.

"We will just have to cross that bridge when we come to it." He said quietly and I swallowed, nodding and looking back at Edward, playing with his hand in both of mine.

"I'll leave you to alone." He whispered and left.

I glanced t him in the mirror, "thank you Carlisle."

He smiled, "its okay Bella."

I turned back to Edward, sighing sadly and kissing his forehead.

"I read your journal, I hope you don't mind." I said, trying to repress the disappointment that rose when he didn't respond or even acknowledge me.

I swallowed and carried on.

"We always promised each other that we would tell each other everything, I know it doesn't really count, because I'm reading it rather than listening to you say it, but I think it's along the same lines." I looked him over and smiled sadly.

"I suppose, seen as we've always been about compromise, that I should tell you some of my inner thoughts and feelings..." I paused trying to mull them over, without landing on the one subject I knew I probably should have spoken about, but never ever would.

"Okay, interesting fact about me number one..." I smiled at the way I phrased this, but still my mood didn't change when he remained motionless.

"I _hate_ the colour blue, I only wear it because you like it... umm... I've never really liked driving; I only do it because you don't like it. I've never ever been to china, because you've never wanted to go, and I've never loved anyone but you." I finished.

I felt something move between my hands, and I gasped when his fingers brushed against mine.

"Liar." I soft voice croaked and tears poured down my cheeks as I saw Edward smile ever so slightly, and even though his eyes did not open, I knew he was awake.

"Edward." I gasped and kissed I'm gently.

He swallowed, and his mood seemed to disappear.

"How bad am I?" He murmured as his eyes opened, to look at me. I swallowed back the sob when I looked at the diluted gold, almost grey colour of them.

"its not good is it?" He breathed and I shook my head, looking at him gently.

"Maybe not so good." I whispered and he sighed, shaking his head and groaning slightly when he moved.

I hushed him, speaking urgently more to comfort myself than him I guessed.

"But it will be okay, we'll get the cure and you'll be fine... you'll be _fine_..." I began to sob but he hushed me, reaching up and cupping my cheek.

"Love you have to listen to me." He said gently and I looked down at him, swallowing and nodding to show I was listening.

"If I do die..." He started but I moved to cut him off.

"No let me finish." He said firmly and again I nodded, wanting nothing more than to tell him he was being stupid, that of course he wouldn't die. But of course those would have been lies, for no one knew if he was going to be okay.

Not eve Carlisle, who I looked up to in every sense of the word.

"If I do die," Edward continued "You have to _promise_ me, that you won't do anything reckless, that you'll live your life without dwelling on me ever again... for our children..." He started.

"Of all the ridiculous..." I sobbed and he hushed me.

"_Promise _me Bella." He stressed and I looked down at him, his eyes full of emotion, _begging_ me to understand.

I swallowed, letting out a soft stuttering sighed and nodding.

"Good girl." He whispered and pulled my head gently so he could kiss my forehead. He then proceeded to try and pull me to lie beside him.

"Edward no you need to sleep..." I started but he cut me off.

"I can't sleep without you beside me can I?" He smiled and I felt like slapping him.

"You've been sleeping for two days." I muttered as I snuggled into his side; head on his shoulder, his head resting against mine.

"I love you." He whispered and he sounded so tired.

"I love you to handsome." I whispered and he chuckled quietly, before falling back asleep. I ran my knuckled gently down his jaw and shifted to kiss his lips.

I smiled sadly and swallowed, untangling myself from his arms so I did not hurt him if I to fell asleep. Also I thought it would be a good idea to tell Carlisle and seem that he had woken up. I stood and checked he was comfy and warm before turning to walk to the door. I opened it and stepped into the hall, listening as it clicked shut behind me, and a soft voice whispered.

"Bella."

**Heya guys, I have made the decision that for every chapter I write I will try to make a trailer on YouTube for it, speaking of which, there is one for this one, so enjoy! xx**

**Links as always are on the profile! xx**


	32. Appointment and contempt

**Heya, attached to this on my profile is a link to the preview, so whether you want to watch that before or after reading this it is up to you xx**

_**Renesmee POV**_

Dad seemed to stay at a pretty much constant health over the next couple of days. He ate human food and slept most of the time, but he seemed more of himself when he was awake, he chatted and complained and was generally his over protective self.

I went upstairs with his breakfast while mum was in the shower. I placed the try beside his bed and sat down facing him; he folded his arm begrudgingly and glared at me.

"What?" I tried to ask innocently.

"You know what." He replied in a tone that told me that he knew _exactly_ what I was doing.

I rolled my eyes, "Dad there's nothing I can say that will make her go to school."

He frowned so I tried to improve my statement.

"I've already tried." I told him.

"Well try harder." He complained and I shook my head, reaching for his breakfast. I handed it to him and he ate his toast begrudgingly.

"I'm thinking of taking up piano again." I said suddenly, although it had been playing on y mind for a good few days.

Dads eyes sparkled slightly, I hadn't played since I was ten, and even then it had been with him.

"Really?" He asked.

I nodded, "I may even get accepted into Julliard this year."

He sighed and handed me back his barely touched breakfast.

I frowned as he leant back and closed his eyes, sighing sadly.

"You won't have time to study; you'll be married by then."

I swallowed, "Dad there is noting you can say that will change that."

He sighed and opened his eyes to smile at me, "I know, I just can't believe you're so grown up."

I rolled my eyes, "What's got you so sentimental?"

He swallowed, "I just don't know whether I'll still be here to give you away."

The whole room and house seemed to go quiet, and I looked at dad sadly as he shook his head and closed his eyes again. I kissed his cheek as he fell back asleep and stood up off the bed.

"Love you daddy." I whispered and went out into the hall. I smiled as I set the plates down in the kitchen just as Chris walked past, Charlie in front of him. My fiancée picked his keys up and smiled at me.

"I'm just taking Charlie to school, I'll see you first period yeh?"

I nodded and kissed him quickly before he left after my youngest brother. Anthony and Aimee had already left for school; something about extra credit... yeh right tats what they were doing.

That meant I had the lone job of trying to convince mum to come to school whilst Grandma and Granddad looked after dad.

Even though mum _had_ to come in first period for a meeting with the head master to explain dad's illness, she wasn't exactly keen on the idea of staying all day five days a week.

However to my surprise, I heard mum whisper an 'I love you' in her bedroom and the sound of her kissing him gently, before next thing I knew she was in front of me, holding her school bag.

I raised an eyebrow and picked mine up.

She swallowed, "let's just go before I change my mind." She said and walked out to the car.

_**Bella POV**_

"Maybe you would be so good as to fill me in on what exactly is _wrong_ with Mr Cullen." Mr Bavington said and leant back in his seat. I swallowed and straightened up to address him, wondering if it would be better just to break down crying. I knew deep down that it wouldn't help anything or anyone, but to be honest it was all I felt like doing at that moment.

"Edward has a complicated neurological disease, which has spread from his liver to his lungs. Currently he has just been confined to bed rest without any serious medication, but he sleeps most of the time and can barely eat anything." I told him, swallowing back the tears as i went.

Mr Bavington's eyes narrowed, "And why, if your adopted father is a doctor, hasn't he been admitted to Forks General?"

Again I swallowed, "Edwards condition..." I trailed off as there was a knock t the door and the headmaster barked for the person knowing to come in.

I swallowed when Mrs Cope put her head around and a familiar scent hit my nostrils.

"Excuse me sir, Dr Cullen is here to see Miss Hale." She said.

Mr Bavington grunted that I could go and I stood up hurriedly, grabbing my bag and walking out into the main hall.

I froze as Carlisle turned to face me; his face was smooth and expressionless. My heart contract when I thought of how I had often labelled Edwards poker face extraordinary, but Carlisle's left his something to be desired.

My father in laws eyes were black and his posture was tight, there was no side of bedside manner, and my head swum with all the images I had seen of Edward in pain.

"Carlisle?" I asked anxiously and took a step towards him, we were about meter apart now, and still he did not soya anything. Whether it was because he did not trust his voice, or whether it was because he had nothing to say I was unsure.

I fought the sobs, "Edward... is he... is he..."

But I couldn't say the word, nor did I have to because instead of replying verbally at first, my father in law simply nodded.

He swallowed and my vision became married with black as he spoke.

"Bella there was nothing I could do..."

**Heya, only reviews get update... so hit the button at the bottom. Thank you to everyone who updated and viewed both the fan fiction chapters and the trailers xx it means a lot xx**


	33. Missing

**Bella POV**

Tears poured down my face as Carlisle walked closer to me, but instead of saying what I thought he was going to, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded envelope from it and handed it to me.

I swallowed when I saw the words on the front, looking at Carlisle for conformation. He nodded and I ripped it open, scanning through it and snapping my head up when Carlisle touched my shoulder.

"You should sit down?" He said gently and I pushed his arms away.

"Don't you dare me what to do, tell me, what has happened to my son?" I shouted and he looked around as I did, but there was no one there to hear.

"Bella you need to calm down, we'll find him." he said but I stormed away, sobbing and sitting down on one of the chairs, unfolding the piece of paper and scanning it again.

There was the slam of a door and I looked up to see the rest of my siblings and children entering the room.

"What's going on, is it dad?" Renesmee demanded and I saw everyone look relieved when he shook his head.

"Then what is it then?" Alice asked, her yes falling on me as I looked up to meet all of their eyes with my heartbroken ones.

"Its Charlie, he's run away." I said and broke down into sobs.

Once back at the house it became clear that there was nothing we could do. Chris and Anthony went off with Emmet and Jasper to search for him, and Edward was having to be restrained in bed to stop him form to running after his son.

It was hopeless, we all knew who he was with, and we had no idea where _she_ would go.

"She's known us what... a _day_?" I sobbed where I was sitting on the sofa with Carlisle, Esme and the rest of my female relatives.

Renesmee rubbed my back, "He said why he went with her mum?" She offered as some solace.

"He's just a little boy." I sobbed.

Carlisle, "Bella, there isn't a little boy born who would cross the world to save their father, and Charlie can."

"But what makes him so sure she can help us, if anythgn this has just made everything worse." I cried.

Esme hushed me, she being the only one who really understood what it was like to lose a child, and I had, more than once.

"He's a smart boy; he'll come home when he has to." She said gently.

Ellie walked back down the stairs and I looked at her anxiously, she had just got off of the phone with Anthony, and I was desperate for news.

"Anything?" I demanded but she shook her head.

"Zara's and his scents stopped at Seattle airport runway, they could be anywhere by now." She said, tears in her own eyes.

I swallowed, "i knew, I _said_ I didn't trust her."

Carlisle sighed, "No one saw this coming."

Alice scoffed at his pun and I looked anxiously at her before she shook her head sadly.

"i never saw anything like this coming, his future still says he should be walking through that door at five PM."

I swallowed, "Well we all know that's not happening."

Carlisle began to pace, "Either Zara as a witch knows how to play with the blind spots in your vision or she's done something so you can't see anything than what you already have."

There was silence after that, and I swallowed, standing up and announcing quietly that I was going to bed. I walked upstairs and tuck my heard around he door, but flung it open once I saw what was inside, or rather what _wasn't_.

"Edward!" I screamed as my eyes once again landed on the empty bed.

B


	34. lonely little seceret

Edward POV 

I climbed out of my car, looking over the small house with a secret stab of jealousy. The people or rather person living inside mattered, they had a family who wasn't watching them fade away.

With that bitter emotion in my heart I climbed the porch steps and knocked on the door, to be greeted by a woman who was scarily like the one I was searching for.

"Who are you?" She asked as though she didn't know.

"I'm Charlie's father." I said firmly, longing for a sit down but knowing that the energy I was using was worth it. She swallowed and nodded.

"Come in." She whispered and led me further into the house. Zara's sent was strong here.

"Why are you _here_?" She said as she motioned for me to sit facing her on the sofa, next to her, only a cushion between us. It was obvious why she asked, just as clearly as it was that neither Zara or my son were in the house.

"You were the last person to see my son Jay." I said as all the explanation she needed.

Her eyes narrowed, "How do you know my name?"

I shook my head, "You first, where is my son?"

"I don't know..." She started just as my phone rang.

I looked at the caller Id to see my wife's name appear on the screen, I opened it and then slammed it shut before I turned back to Jay; she looked at me with wide eyes as I began speaking in rushed tones.

"We haven't got much time; I'm going to need to read your mind, all of it." I said and she nodded; swallowing slightly as I placed my hands on either side of her face.

"If there's anything you don't want me to see just imagine a door and close it." I said firmly.

She nodded as I began to scan through her brain, and it soon became apparent, that I was not the first person to browse.

"My Jay you've had some cowboys in here." I said as I glanced over her dating history and she laughed, her eyes closed as mine were.

"Now let's see Zara took interest in Charlie and left this afternoon at the same time he would have done to get the bus home.." I mused just as Jay flinched.

"Sorry you may find old memories coming to the surface it's a side effect." I said in a rush.

"Oh my god." She gasped and I apologised again.

"So lonely." She whispered and I once again said I was sorry.

She began to whisper, but of course I heard.

"Edward, so lonely, all alone with no one..."

I cut her off, "what are you talking about you've never been alone a day in your life and when did you start calling me Edward?" I demanded and snapped my eyes open to see hers still closed.

"Oh Edward," She sighed, "Such a lonely little boy lonely then and lonelier now." She whispered as I pulled away.

"How did you do that?" I demanded.

She swallowed, "A door once opened may be stepped through in either direction."

My eyes narrowed and she swallowed again.

"It's more than just a secret isn't it?" She whispered and I froze.

She shook her head, "it makes no odds to me, but my sister matters, and to stop her from getting herself killed, I will help you get your son back."

**Ooh what's Edwards secret? Find out in the next chapter, also as a note if you want a song put into a trailer or think you know of one that fits a past chapter from a past story or anything, don't be afraid to tell me. REVIEW!**


	35. Jay

**This A/N is dedicated to LALA who reviews every chapter, unfortunately** **couldn't** **use the song you wanted for my trailer, please continue to suggest songs you want and if I have them I will use them. Sorry for this guys, anyway new chapter previews up now. Xx**

Bella POV

I heard the front door open from where I had previously been sitting facing the fire place in the cottage, all of my children tucked up in bed. I swallowed at this thought, all of my children except one.

My eyes widened ever so slightly and I rushed forwards to see Edward take a step into the house, he was absolutely soaked, and he had a haunted look in his eyes that gave me no confidence what so ever in what he had been doing.

"Where have you been?" I demanded, tears in my eyes, and before I knew it I was sobbing.

"I thought... god knows when I thought I was going to see you again." I cried and he hushed me, walking over and gathering me in his arms.

"I was so scared." I whispered and he kissed my hair, and I didn't miss the way his body winced when he held me closer.

I pulled back and lead him to bed, watching anxiously as he pulled off his shirt; grey lines although faint were visible all over his back. I sat down facing him as he sighed and sunk back into the pillows almost gratefully.

I rubbed his hand in both of mine and he swallowed, shaking his head, as if knowing that I was about to start my well rehearsed rant at him.

"Edward you could have died, your weak enough as it is, how did you manage to get the car out of the garage without anyone hearing, or Alice seeing...?" I started but he cut me off.

"I found a way to get Charlie back, he's with Zara... if we just..." He was cut off by his own groan and I hushed him, hands fluttering aimlessly as I tried to sooth him in anyway.

He swallowed and shook his head, "But of course I'm not going to be allowed out of bed am I?"

I shook my head back at him and he sighed, smiling slightly and closing his eyes again.

"I'll phone Carlisle to come ad look you over, make sure you haven't damaged yourself." I whispered and stroked his cheek, making to stand up when eh feebly grabbed at my arm, causing me to sit back down.

"Stay... please." He whispered and I nodded, his eyes opening into narrow slits to see me do so.

He began t speak with his eyes closed, and even when I tried to stop him, fearing his self hating rant would make him worse, he continued to talk.

"I'm so sorry." He breathed and swallowed and when I hushed him he just carried on.

"I've let you down so many times and hurt you in so many ways... and every day I get up and I fight, fight the disease inside of me and I'm just so frightened that one day I'm not going to want to fight that anymore Bella." He breathed and tears rolled down his face.

I shushed him hurriedly and stroked his cheeks.  
"Edward you have to fight it, for me and your children..." I breathed.

He shook his head, "I can't."

"Yes you can." I said firmly and he opened his eyes to look at me sadly.

"You and me, we have been through to much for you to just give up. Forever is a long time Edward, too long for me to live without you." I cried and he swallowed, nodding and resting his head against mine, forehead to forehead.

"I love you so much." I whispered.

I swore I saw him smile the briefest of smiles, "I love you to, more than you will ever know."

He sighed happily and soon fell back asleep, me finding that I was humming some kind of tune to help him drift off. Part of me wanted to wake him to tell him that I had invented a lullaby for him, but he looked so peaceful that I dint even want to touch him for fear of disturbing him.

I heard some movement on the landing and I stood, kissing him on the forehead before leaving.

The door clicked shut behind me and I came face to face with my eldest daughter who had a lot of sleep in her eyes and more yawned than spoke her words at me.

"Is dad back?" She asked.

I nodded and smiled, "GO back to bed; he'll still be here in the morning."

"You'll make sure of it?" She laughed and I rolled my eyes, it felt do good not to either be crying or on the verge of tears.

There was a knock on the front door downstairs and I frowned as Ness followed me down the stairs to answer it.

"I can answer the door." I said firmly and she rolled her eyes before going to get a glass of water, yeh right I believed that was what she was doing, she was too much like her father for me not to feel that she was looking after me.

I pulled open the door to see a woman with angular cheekbones and large brown eyes, her mahogany hair was swept up in a bun off of her face.

She smiled as I frowned at her, and the words she spoke threatened to make my eyes fall out of my head.

"Hello I'm jay, is Edward i?" She asked.

I tried so hard not to growl, "Why?"

She swallowed obviously put off by my very animalistic voice.

"Because he came to see me today..." She said and I gasped, slamming the door in her face.

"Edward!" I screamed and stormed up the stairs.

His eyes were open slightly and he looked confused.

"What love?" He asked.

I folded my arms so I didn't slap him.

"Who the hell is Jay?"

His eyes went wide and my teeth snapped together, and when he could give me no real apology I simply grabbed my coat and went to leave.

"Well I hope your very happy together." I screamed and flew from the house.


	36. Decision

**Heya guys, so I am probably going to be updating less frequently now, but it will be more than once a week. As well as that as a treat for you there will nearly **_**always **_**be a YouTube trailer alongside the chapters, there are TWO for this chapter, just to say thanks. xx**

Bella POV

It was fortunate that Carlisle was working the night shift, otherwise I would have had to turn around and drive home, and I wasn't ready to face the hurt I inflicted on my seriously ill husband just yet. Sometimes I thought that it would have been easier and more preferable to stay human, that then the most serious thing I would have to worry about would be what shoes to wear with my new skirt.

I sighed when I thought of my pixie sister and amended the thought, sometimes for vampire, disasters had the same definition.

I walked forwards through the ER, winding my way in-between drunken teenagers and even worse off adults. I swallowed with my arms tight around me as I reached the desk, and did my best to smile for the receptionist who smiled up at me.

"Bella dear, what's the matter?" She asked and it was only then that I remembered her name, without having to look at her name badge.

_Shirley_ had been present at our graduation, her grandson was in my year at school, he was a nice enough boy, in the sense that he was the only one in our entire history class who _didn't_ try and look down my top.

"Can you page my father please, it's important." I mumbled my voice thick and looking as though I was on the verge of tears.

"Of course I can sweetheart, you just sit yourself down and he'll be right out." She said gently and turned back to her computer. I nodded and went and sat down, of _course_ she thought that I was here because of Edward, in truth of course I was. But more than anything I just wanted Carlisle to hug me in his fatherly way and tell me that it was all going to be okay.

He appeared soon after, and his eyes went wide when he saw me. I practically threw myself at him, hugging him tight around the middle and sobbing into his shirt.

At fist his voice was anxious, "What's the matter Bella, is it Edward?"  
I shook my head; face still pressed into his shirt.

"We had a fight." I mumbled and sniffed.

There was a brief pause before he finally spoke.

"Ah." He sighed and I started to cry again.

He stroked my back gently, "Let's go into my office, you can tell me all about it." He said and led me down the hall, before sitting me down in one of the chairs I had sat in so many times.

Edward would normally sit next to me and hold my hand, because mostly every time I had been in this room or one like it I had either been human or pregnant, sometimes both.

Carlisle shut the door and sat down beside me.

I swallowed and sniffed, playing with the hem of my shirt, he didn't push me for information, which was his bed side manner I guessed.

"He went to see Jay, Zara's sister." I mumbled.

Carlisle simply nodded, knowing that what I didn't need right now was a lecture in just how much I was over reacting. I already knew that.

"And then she came around the house, wanting to see her, I don't know what deal his made Carlisle but I don't trust her." I sobbed and he hushed me, obviously having heard enough.

"Bella I think..." He started but there was a demanding knock at the door and a rather breathless nurse rushed in.

"Dr Cullen. Crash team bay twenty five." She said and left, both of us stood, and I gave Carlisle a fleeting hug before he ran off to save lives.

I walked out with my arms folded into the car lot, knowing that know was the time to go home and face Edward, not that he was in any shape or position to be overly mad, but I knew that he would be pretty pissed.

I was about to get the fob out to open my car when two figures jumped off of the bonnet of it, who I had not previously spotted, although now I was only about ten paces away from them, I knew it was too late to run.

"Hello Bella." A smooth voice said from the darkness.  
I swallowed, "Aro."

He chuckled, coming into the light to face me. I glanced around, Felix and Demetri were stood under a streetlamp pretending to talk, although I knew they were there in case I decided to hedge my bets and flee.

I turned back to Aro, Renata and Jane stood next to my car so hat escape goat was also out of the question. Upon deciding that the place was deserted enough and safe enough for me to remain where I was, I turned back to Aro.

"What do you want?" I demanded.

Again he chuckled and I was tired of all the false pleasantries, I wanted answers, and _now_.

Obviously my question had not been specific enough, so I tried nearly what I wanted so desperately to ask, but it was too painful to get the words out.

"Why can't you just leave us alone." I growled.

Upon my words Aro's face turned more like stone than paper, and I saw determination my eyes which made my stomach knot itself.

"Your son is dying Aro, why can't you just leave him in peace, with his _family_." I stressed the word.

"I am not here to see Edward." Aro said firmly, and there was nothing in his voice that made me doubt him.

"I'm here to see you." He clarified.

I swallowed ad stiffened, "Why?"

He folded his arms and stared into my eyes so I had no choice but to stare back.

"I'm offering you the chance to save Edward, _forever_."

And as much as I knew I was going to regret it, the words left my mouth with so much hope in them that I could not take them back.

"_How?"_


	37. Italy

Bella POV

I walked up the steps to the cottage, moving as quietly as I could; silently hoping and praying to anyone who would listen that all of my children and husband were sleeping so they could not hear me. But when I entered the living room and saw Renesmee sat with her arms folded glaring at me, I knew that god had once again not answered my prayers.

I sighed and shrugged out of my coat, putting it on the back of the chair and turning to face her.

"Okay before you start..." I tried but she cut me off, interrupting and gesturing and looking on the verge of tears.

"Do not even apologise to me mum, how do you think dad reacted huh? When Aunty Alice saw and came over to tell him, because she _did_ see you deal with them mum!" She screamed and I swallowed.

"You're not even going to defend yourself?" She demanded and I only shook my head in response.

I infolded my arms from around myself and opened my right palm slowly, showing her a small pink vial that was glistening in the lamp light.

"How..." She gasped when it clicked in her mind just what it was.

I swallowed, "We can talk about it later, right now he needs this, _and then_ we can decide what to do, _after_ he's well again."

I turned away without waiting for a reply and rushed upstairs, despite my hasty movements, I opened the door to mine and Edward's bedroom almost silently.

I walked into the soft golden room to see him lying on his side facing me, eye shut and lips slightly parted. I swallowed and walked to sit facing him. I touched his cheek and his eyes opened slowly.

"Bella." He croaked and went to sit up when he groaned. I pushed him back down but he ocntiued to fight me verbally when I produced the small bottle form my hand.

He to, realised what it was almost instantly.

I swallowed as his hand pushed mine away, preventing me from giving it to him.

"What did it cost you?" He wheezed.

I swallowed and shook my head, moving his hand away before pressing the vial to his lips. Tears rolled down my cheeks as he drank, before his face went tight and his body went rigid.

He groaned and his back arched, and I threw the vial over my shoulder, letting it smash on the far wall with a sound like rain.

I stroked his cheek and hushed him as he became perfectly still, and the grey lines over his body faded away with a sound like bending metal.

My eyes snapped up to gaze into his newly retuned golden ones and I smiled, me cradling his face and touching my lips to his.

His hands stoked my hair and for the first time in a long time, his mouth moved with mine.

But I could not keep up the pretence for long, and the black cloud hanging dangerously close over both our heads proceeded to block out the metaphorical sun.

"Edward the promise I made Aro..." I trailed off when eh hushed me.

"I know my love, I'll fix it I promise." He breathed.

I swallowed, "but they have gone back to Italy, Edward if you go there they will never let you come back, I'm coming with you." I said firmly.

To my utter amazement Edward only nodded.

I gulped and took his hands in both of mine.

"So we're going to Italy?" I asked.

He nodded, "We're going to see my father."

**Heya guys, so YAY Edwards better again, but for how long, and will they survive the trip to Italy. There is going to be a trailer for this chapter so check that out and also I know this was short but it was a treat for you guys for reviewing. May not be able to update until Sunday! Xx **


	38. Home

Edward POV

I stood with my wife holding hands facing the rest of the family in the living rom of the main house. All of their eyes portrayed different emotion, there was disvelif, worry, outrage, shock and sadness. The last two were everyone's, the first few belonging mainly to my children and adoptive mother.

I finished the explanation of the reasons why me and Bella were intending to leave for Volterra in just two weeks, leaving time after graduation and to iron out the creases, but to me, who would never let anything happen to Bella, the plan initially seemed water tight.

The challenge seemed to lie in getting everyone to believe the same thing.

"Guys the promise has been made, if we leave it they will just come sooner, leaving us very little if no time to defend ourselves." I said firmly.

Bella spoke quietly from beside me and everyone's faces softened when she did. I gave her hand a gently squeeze and kissed her hair.

"We still don't know where Zara took Charlie either." She whispered.

I wrapped my arm around her and held her into my side.

"If me and Bella go to Volterra we stand a better chance of getting Aro on side, if not Heidi if she has already returned back there." I said.

Emmet spoke up then, "But I thought we had established the fact that it was _Heidi_ and Demetri's private guard who shot Bella in the baseball field."

My wife flinched and I swallowed, nodding in response to my brother.

"She's still the best ally we have." I replied, throat and voice tight as if I were being strangled.

"What about Jay, the other witch, or the Denali's?" Esme spoke up next.

Carlisle decided to answer for me.

"Jay as far as we know is going to protect her sister, and because we know mothering about the situation Charlie is in with her, we may as well leave her out of this."

"But I though she offered to help?" Renesmee asked, speaking for the first time.

Jasper looked at her softly, "But so did Heidi, look how that turned out."

Carlisle sighed and put his head in his hands, "So you are asking us, as your _family_ to accept the fact that you are willingly going to walk into Aro's hands without _any_ allies besides one another?"

I nodded and Bella whispered a quiet 'yes'.

Carlisle sighed and glanced at Esme, who folded her arms and replied with a look that told him that the chances of her being happy or accepting anything at the moment were very slim.

I glanced around quickly, listening to individual thoughts as I went.

Nearly everyone in the room looked nothing short of horrified of the prospect, the worst being that on my children's faces.

"If w go to Volterra we can use the pensive to see where Charlie is, then e will report back and you can go and get him." I tried.

Carlisle looked at me, wondering mentally how I knew about the font of water I had used to see Bella when I had last been taken, coincidently when Charlie had been born.

"If you let Aro know of the witches and what they have done it could spark a war between all of the supernatural races, I can't imagine the wolves, however many are left in La Push, taking sides with us against the witches." Carlisle said firmly.

I swallowed, "I want my son back."

Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her face into my chest, I rubbed her back soothingly as she fought not to cry.

Esme shook her head, "Why can't we just wait, we can use the time we have to collect allies and look for Charlie. Zara can't have got far if her sister is handing around, why don't we start there and search for him instead of jumping the gun to play some kind of real life chess game with Aro."

Bella took a small step away from me and looked at me sadly.

"Esme's right." She whispered and I sighed.

"Bella..." I started but she cut me off.

Bella shook her head and spoke whilst looking at me sadly.

"Finding Charlie is the most important thing; he needs to be home, with us, his _family_."

I swallowed, "but if we piss of my father and the Volturi he won't have a home to come back to, much less a _family_."

However my wife only shook her head again.

"You know she's right Edward." Alice said gently, and my eyes snapped up to glare at her, we got along well enough most of the time, but I refused to be patronised by someone has flaky in power and above all _short _as Alice was.

However my expression softened when Bella reached up to cup my cheek, forcing me to meet her gaze. Her eyes looked up at mine, the bottom of her irises pooling with tears.

"Let's bring him home, and then we can deal with whatever else is heading our way." She whispered.

I swallowed, "But at the moment I can't protect you from my own father, let alone his entire army and a whole collective of un known's..."

She hushed me and hook her arms around my neck.  
"You're not alone; you'll never have to be that again." She whispered and we hugged each other tight, me letting out a shaky breath before straightening up and looking my family over.

Carlisle spoke first, "So we start by looking for Charlie?"  
I nodded, "Then we start looking for allies, we are going to need all the help we can get."

**Heya guys, thanks for staying with me, so **_**AMAZED**_** we cracked one hundred reviews, thanks to all the usual people, even those who just read and don't review! So yeh there will be a video to accompany this chapter and hopefully another one up by this evening, you should be glad I've done all my homework, or my mum would be down on me like a ton of bricks! **

_**SO**_** glad it's nearly the Easter holidays, I can update **_**LOADS**_** then! Only one week to go.**

**Xx Catherine xx**


	39. Tommorow is another day

Renesmee POV

Our cottage had turned into the missing Charlie Cullen hub. Every available surface in dads study was strewn with random photos, pieces of paper and doodling on both Zara and Jay. I sighed and walked down the stairs, regretting my thoughts on just how hard it was to put off your own wedding when someone had kidnapped your little brother.

I froze and waited for the wrath of dad but all remained quiet. I frowned; maybe he was too busy keeping mu company to bother getting up for school. I glanced at the clock as I walked through the living room towards the kitchen. Seven thirsty, nearly everyone would normally be up by now.

Everyone meaning _anyone_ in the house besides Anthony and Chris, they needed a nuclear explosion to separate them from their pit.

It was then, as I poured myself a cup of coffee that I heard movement form down the hall. I frowned and carried it with me as I followed the source of the noise, peaking through the crack in the door to see dad sat at his desk, head in his hands, yet more pieces of paper falling to the floor.

Mum appeared form the door that led directly into the dining room. She was just wearing a short blue bath robe that came to just under her under wear.

"Heya." She whispered gently and dad sighed.

"morning." He mumbled into his hands and she sighed, walking up to stand beside him where he was sitting on rubbing the back of his neck.

He let out a long breath and sat back in his char, wrapping one arm around her waist to keep her beside him.

"How are you doing?" Mum asked quietly, her voice very anxious.

In the days that had followed mum and dad's decision to remain in Forks to look for Charlie dad had taken it upon himself to spend every waking moment hew wasn't pretending to be a teenager to trace my baby brother.

The problem was that at the rate Charlie was growing he could have been fully aged by now, we had no idea what he looked like, so were relying solely on finding Zara and Jay, praying that he would be with them when we did.

_If_ we did.

Mum stroked the back of his hair, "You weren't in bed when I woke up, I got worried." She whispered. Dad pulled her into his lap, her resting all of her ait against his chest, hands playing with the buttons on the front of his shirt.

"I'm sorry love, are you okay?" Dad asked quietly, resting his head on top of hers to look into her face gently, although she kept her eyes where her hands were.

She swallowed and nodded, tears appearing in her eyes.

"Oh my love." He whispered and shifted her so she could cry into his chest. He hushed her and rubbed her back, I swallowed and prayed to god that we would find Charlie soon. Mum was finding hard to let any of us out of her sight, and we were all secretly amazed that she hadn't grounded us and forbidden any of us to leave the house, let alone go to school.

Dad was the only one who could keep her calm, and I knew that secretly she had been frightened when he wasn't there when she woke up. All of us were concerned that one morning we would wake up to find him either taken or ill again.

No one knew what we would do if that happened again before e were ready for it to.

Granddad had tried to take some of the cure form dads venom as a standby, as well as this being painful for dad; it had been all but fruitless. The venom had been too concentrated with not enough antidote to be of use.

I silently shut the door to give them some privacy, before turning and walking back upstairs to mine and Chris's room, amazed to see him almost dressed, just pulling his shirt over his head.

"Hey." He smiled at me in the mirror and I returned the favour, walking over to the wardrobe and pulled out my already chosen outfit.

"Who else is up?" he asked, putting gel in his hair as I stripped down to my underwear. I could feel his eyes on me in the mirror, and tried to ignore it, but I knew he could see the blush on my cheeks as I replied.

"Mum and dad are downstairs in his study, and I _think_ Aimee and Ant are up, Ellies in the shower." I told him.

He looked at me anxiously, "How's your mum this morning."

I swallowed as I pulled the dress over my head and tucked my hair behind my ears as he looked at me anxiously, hands on his hips in a tense gesture.

I fiddled with my engagement ring, "She's okay I guess."

He was suddenly pulling me into a hug and I relaxed into his chest, wrapping my around around his waist and breathing in his woody scent.

"It will be okay, your dad will find him he'll sort it out." He said gently.

I swallowed and sniffed, "He always does."

Chris almost audibly frowned, "What do you mean?"  
I pulled back to look at him sadly as he cradled my face ever so gently in his hands.

"It means that every time something bad has happened dad has started it out regardless of where it leaves him and in what state."

Chris looked at me evenly, "you're saying you think he's going to do something rash?"

I swallowed, "I'm saying that I _know_ he will."

There was a knock at the door and Ellie stuck her head around.

"You guys ready?" She asked.

I nodded and took Chris's hand, grabbing my bag as he did the same.

He sighed as we reached the bedroom door which Ellie had left open.

"Are you ready to spend another day at school with me?" He joked in an attempt to lift the mood.

I smiled, "Just another day of forever."

His lips skimmed over mine.

"That's all I'm asking for." He whispered before his mouth was on mine.

**There you go guys just another chapter with an added bit of Renesmee fluff for you, there are yet **_**more**_** trailers to watch, so enjoy. Leave a comment and review if you can! Xx**


	40. I cant be

Bella POV

Edwards hand was tight in mine all the way during the journey to school. Normally I would have been grossly objected to him having to take his one remaining hand off of the steering wheel in order to change gear, but seen as there was only us in the car, and the fact that I couldn't bear to be parted from him, I managed to keep clam about it.

I swallowed as we pulled up to the blind, which had not changed at all since the first time me and Edward had walked down the halls hand in hand, even when I had been human form what I could remember it looked pretty much the same.

Edward ran his knuckles down my cheek, causing me to look at him.

I swallowed as I looked into his golden eyes, would my son look like that now, or would he still have my eyes, I did not know, and for a mother that was heart breaking.

I did my best to smile for him, whether he saw through it or not, it did not go unnoticed.

He cupped my cheek, "It's nice to see you smile."

I felt my cheeks flame slightly, stupid half human emotions.

Edward chuckled and moved his head to breathe against my lips.

"That's my girl." He whispered and kissed my gently.

I gave his lips a quick peck after he had pulled away before turning to open my door.

"Wait." He said and caught my arm.

I looked at him anxiously, was something wrong, had Alice seen something, was someone else hurt?

"You never told me what you were thinking about."

I smiled genuinely this time, "We have plenty of time for me to tell you."

"Forever." He said and I swallowed.

"I hope so." I whispered and climbed out of the car. I heard Edward sigh but he followed me regardless, locking the car before taking my hand and leading me towards our first lesson.

It passed incredibly slowly; Edward and I finished our essays before any of the others had finished their opening sentence. Yet although his hand was tight in mine, and his thumb was rubbing soothing circles on the back of it, it did not stop both of our minds wandering in the same direction and not even in the way they normally did.

I did not realise I was on the verge of tears until Edward was whispering in my ear.

"Clam down sweetheart." He whispered.

I swallowed and looked at him anxiously, "I can't do this anymore." I breathed and stood up, gathering my stuff and shoving it in my bag.

"Miss Hale are you okay?" Mr Banner called from the front of the class. I swallowed as tears coursed down my face and looked at Edward, his eyes wide and on me anxiously.

"Sorry." I breathed to him and turned to hand Mr Banner my essay, before promptly walking towards the door.

I heard a chair be pushed away from a table and I spun as Mr Banner spoke, putting a pen back in his pocket.

"Mr Cullen, I'm afraid unless you can tell me what the immortal last words of Shakespeare were, you are _not_ leaving this classroom."

Edward glared at him before he shoved his stuff in his bag and straightened up.

"Kiss my ass?" He offered and barged past a shocked Mr Banner, before taking my hand and leading me hastily through the empty halls.

We ended up in the car lot and I stopped walking nearly as fast when he led me towards the Volvo.

"Edward what are you doing?" I demanded as he took my bag from me and threw open my door.

"Get in the car?" He growled and stormed around to his side.

I swallowed, not wanting to argue with this side of Edward, who quite honestly frightened me a little.

I got in with tears in my eyes as we sped out of the car park, well aware that my children and siblings were most likely watching along with the rest of the student body.

"Would you care to explain what exactly the matter is?" He demanded and I swallowed, tears leaking down my face.

"Bella?" he gasped but I didn't reply, only shrinking away when he went to touch my cheek to wipe them away.

"I just..." he sighed sadly, "This behaviour isn't normal, the crying, the feeling sick, quite frankly its scaring the crap out of me." He said, and for one fleeting second eh truly sounded like my father.

"I'm sorry." I began to sob into my hands, I was so desperate not to feel this depressed all of the time that I had forgotten that Edward, being the other half to my coin, would be able to read my emotions like a book, even if he wasn't jasper.

"Hey, hey hush." He whispered and killed the engine, pulling me into a hug where we were parked in some car lot somewhere. Not that it mattered; all I wanted was to be held.

"Maybe..." he sighed, "Maybe Carlisle should look at you."

I swallowed, "Not now."

"But Bella..."

"No just..." I sniffed, "Just hug me."

He did as I asked, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my temple gently. I

I sniffed, "I don't want you to leave me."

He sighed, "We both know I can't."

"Edward I'm so frightened?" I whispered pathetically and he held me tighter, although deep down I knew he didn't think I was scared of anything that was about to jump out and shout 'boo.'

"I'll protect you." He whispered.

I swallowed and pulled back to kiss his cheek, but as I moved a tight pain shot through my abdomen and I gasped gripping his arms hard as I felt my legs and lower body go tight.

"Bella... Bella what's the matter?" He demanded and I groaned.

"Edward it hurts." I moaned.

He looked panicked and produced his pone from his pocket, dialling hurriedly for Carlisle, who else would you call in a crisis?

_Ghostbusters_, one side of my brain thought sarcastically.

I gripped his shoulder as he demanded things form my father in law, my breathing was coming to fast and to shallow, but it stopped all together when a jet of water shot down my legs.

I could count nearly on one hand the times that had happened, all under the same circumstance.

"I can't be..." I gasped quietly just as the pain increased.

"God." I groaned and hunched forwards. Carlisle's voice raised a pitch on the phone as I lolled back in my seat, hands falling limply on my stomach.

Edward shook me gently.

"You open your eyes Bella, you keep strong, for me..." He trailed off as Carlisle spoke again.

"For the baby." I whispered and my eyes closed.

**Ooh so quite a lot of drama in this chapter, if you don't understand anything, or have any assumptions you want correcting, please let me know and i will answer them.**

**Trailer on profile, review! xx**


	41. Where it all went wrong

Bella POV

My eyes cracked open against the white light they only ever had in hospitals. I swallowed, throat dry and body sore. I could feel strange scratchy clothes and sheets covering my body, an IV stuck in my arm.

"Hello love." Edward's soft voice whispered and I opened my eyes wider to see him sat in a hard plastic chair facing me, his hand holding mine gently on the pillow by my head.

I swallowed, "The baby... is the baby okay..." I gasped, very close to hyperventilating as I thought of the amount of time I could have been unconscious and what could have happened in that time.

How could I have not known I was pregnant, now I thought about it all the signs had been there, in fact I was nearly one hundred percent sure that Edward had listed them off to me in the car before it all happened.

Edward swallowed and sniffed, tears in his eyes, "The bay dint make it love."

It took me a moment to catch up.

"What?" I gasped.

Edward shifted in his seat, both out of lack of comfort and sadness.

"The baby's heart and lungs had not developed properly, that's why all this happened." He whispered.

I swallowed, "I want to see it."

Edward shook his head, wiping the tears that trickled down my face away.

"You can't sweetheart." He said gently.

"Why?" I croaked, the tears on my face now more like a river than a stream.

Edward hushed me and kissed my forehead.

"The baby wasn't even born sweetheart... you had a miscarriage, not a still birth."

My breathing hitched and Edward shushed me, moving closer so he could rest his head on his arm whilst looking into my eyes sadly. We were only about two inches apart, so I whispered, it made the moment feel more private, and at the moment he was the only one I wanted near me.

"How far along was I... how old was it?" I breathed.

Edward swallowed and stoked my arm.

"Only a few weeks, Carlisle said that if a babies not growing properly, it normally aborts itself, which I think is better than asking it to grow an unhealthy term don't you." He breathed.

I nodded, still not wanting to imagine not holding my baby in my arms.

"I guess." I whispered and Edward kissed my temple.

I swallowed and Edward ran his knuckles down my cheek, making me look at him.

"Please don't shut me out." He whispered and I sighed sadly, more tears pouring down my face.

"I just can't believe I didn't realise." I breathed.

He swallowed, "We were busy."

"What, too busy to notice I was pregnant?" I said cuttingly and he flinched.

I swallowed, more tears falling. "I'm so sorry."

He took a deep breath, "it's not as if I haven't thought the same thing."

There was a brief pause before I had to ask the question that had been bubbling on my tear stained lips for a few minutes.

"What are we going to do now?" I whispered.

Edward looked at his hands which were holding one of mine.

He let out a sad breath, "I don't know."

I stroked his hair and he looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"Oh sweetheart." I sighed and He swallowed, shaking his head and kissing me gently.

"I'll look after you, it will all be fine." He whispered.

I shook my head, "Edward I meant what I said, I _can't_ do this anymore."

He looked at me with a sad confusion on his face.

I swallowed, "I'm so sorry, but I can't be a mother who loses every child she carries, I want a hysterectomy."

**Heya guys sorry this is so short but I wanted to get it out there before tomorrow, there will be a trailer to go with this one, it just needs to be uploaded, which is my next job.**

**Review! xx**


	42. To late to apologise

**Edward POV  
**

Three days passed, and I n longer had he strength or the will to get Bella to change her mind. It had been my goal to do whatever she wanted, what was best for her, whatever the circumstances. Of course this was a goal I missed more times than I cared to count, but I would not fall short of what she needed this time.

She was prepped for theatre and I watched as Carlisle took her down to the prep room. I sighed and sunk into one of the waiting room chairs, my head in my hands, trying so hard not to listen to all of the stereotypical and callous thoughts of the doctors prepping her anaesthesia.

It was against regulations for someone over eighteen to be accompanied through the prep for surgery, and although this was a fact I was well acquainted with, I had put up a decent fight with Carlisle about wanting to be there with her.

I swallowed, feeling the weight of my car keys in my pocket. It would be so easy to run, to turn and flee from every bad thing that was happening.

Because as hard as my family were convinced it was otherwise, all of these bad things were happening because of _me_.

I felt a large lump of emotion in my throat, and it took a large gulp to keep it from making me cry. All the things that were going wrong ran through my head like a hurricane, and I was sure that for as many as there were, I was still missing some.

Every painful and private memory me and Bella shared would be open reading for my biological father. If he ever found us before Alice could see or if we ended up walking into a trap, that would be it.

Then there were the memories that I _repressed_, I kept them at arm's length and only ever thought about them when I had to.

All the times I had hurt or failed Bella, stacked up in a neat row next to one another like the Cd's in my old bedroom, there were so many of them, more than I ever wanted to truly know about.

The most recent being when I had fought her over her decision to become infertile, I found it unrealistic to think that she could possibly _not_ want to even _try_ for more children.

Esme had tried to calm me down when I had begun throwing objects around our cottage when I had gone home to 'freshen up', pretending to be human was so inconvenient.

It had been a turning point when I eventually just broke down into tears. Everybody simply left me to it, even my eldest daughter who I was equally close to as I was my own wife.

I swallowed back another emotional outburst when I thought of Bella. I sighed and shook my head, blinking away the tears that wouldn't fall.

"Nice one Edward." I mumbled and rested my head back in my hands.

**Carlisle POV (just to mix it up)**

I was swallowed back some rise of an emotional plea for my daughter as I slid the IV gently under her skin. Her eyes were glassy as she stared up at the ceiling above her, her whole body tense and unmoving, eyes only blinking to keep up appearances.

I had to try to remain professional, and it was easily the hardest thing I had ever had to do.

Trying to remain from doing what I so wanted to do in this kind of situation was almost impossible. However I could feel the eyes of the security camera and the waiting attendant outside on me, and I knew that if I acted anything other than my conduct, I would be off the case faster than even my eldest son could run.

Thinking of Edward made me blink away my own tears, and I busied myself with checking her chart and signed form.

To say Edward had not taken this well was both unsurprising and understandable. For someone who would never know the feel of having a biological child, it was taking my professional side from siding openly with him.

That was the only part of me that agreed with Bella, but after an emotional argument with my wife, who had indeed lost a child and never would have one again, I had to remain as Dr Cullen at home as well as at work currently.

I swallowed and put Bella's chart back in the holder beside her bed. I sighed and pulled the sides of the bed upright and motioned for an attendant to take her into theatre.

"Tell Dr George I'll be scrubbing up. He can start without me..." I said and the man facing me nodded, moving to the other side of the bed and beginning pushing her through the doors.

"Wait." Bella said and I began to walk away.

I looked down at her and took her hand it mine after prising it off of my arm.

She looked up at me with teary eyes, "I can't do it Carlisle."

I tried with all my might to repress the smile that was threatening to break across my face.

"Okay Bella, take deep breaths come on..." I said, slightly concerned that she might hyperventilate at the rate she was crying.

"I want Edward, please Carlisle..." She sobbed.

"Shush relax its okay he'll be here." I breathed and then turned to the staring attendant.

"Fetch Mr. Cullen from the waiting area." I ordered firmly and he left.

Bella swallowed and shook her head, "I thought this was what I wanted..."

"It's okay sweetheart Edward will be here soon." I breathed and she nodded, just as my son burst through the doors, with an anxious look on his face.

If anything his expression just got more and more isntense when he saw that Bella was crying.

"Edward." She sobbed and he rushed forwards at a just passable human pace to hug her gently. She sobbed into his shirt and repeatedly blubbered out that she was sorry.

He hushed her and kissed her hair, looking on the verge of tears himself.

"It's okay my love I'm here... I'm here..." He laughed tearily and she swallowed loudly.

"I couldn't do that Edward, I don't want never to have another baby." She cried.

Edward hushed her again, "it's _okay_ Bella, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

"I love you." She sobbed and he held her tighter.

"I love you to sweetheart." He whispered and buried his face in her scalp.

I smiled and gestured to the attendant to follow me out into the corridor, indicating that we should leave them alone for a few minutes.

"Dr Cullen, she needs to be taken back to the ward." He asked, as if questioning my professionalism.

I turned back to him, "She needs him, being a doctor isn't just about medics, you need to understand people, you need to see what they see, and can't you see that all she wants is _him._" I stressed and smiled, walking away from the room, well aware that I would be paged when they were ready just to be Edward and Bella again.

When they were together, they could be whoever they wanted to be.

**YO! More preview films for you to watch, as well as clicking the little button underneath this obviously, you don't need telling twice, you're not simple, so just REVEIW! xx**


	43. The price of forever

Edward POV

My arm was resting around my wife's shoulders as we sat watching television back in the safety of the cottage. I would be eternally thankful to Esme for clearing up the mess I made during my rage about Bella's decision to have a hysterectomy. Bella knew nothing of the emotional explosion I underwent and I was hell bent on it remaining that way.

I kissed her temple gently and she sighed, her hand giving my left thigh a gentle squeeze.

"The spring fling has been moved to this evening..." She trailed off and I lifted my head off of where it had been resting on the top of hers.

She met my confused eyes with a smile.  
I tried my best not to sound moronic, "You want to go?"

She nodded, "I want the chance to wear my special dress."

"How about you give me a parade of the special underwear before the kids get back..." I growled quietly and kissed her throat. Bella's hands got caught in my hair as I pushed her back to rest on the sofa. I hovered over her and conquered her lips hard. She moved her hands under my shirt as we both explored and moved over one another's bodies.

It was a quest I felt I never really got chance to complete, and even after several _hours_ of love making I never got tired of relishing in my wife's company.

I heard movement outside and groaned, pulling away from her reluctantly just in time to see Ellie come flying into the house, grabbing her coat and bag and rushing upstairs to change.

I stiffed and stood up as I heard her throwing items form her closet over her bed.

My arms were braced in between the posts at the bottom of the banisters, my shoulders tight and posture tense.

"Ellie Aisha Eva Cullen where do you think you are going this evening?" I yelled. Bella lifted her shield to mentally chide me for shooting in the house but I chose to ignore her. I instead kept my eyes up the stairs in the general direction of my daughter's room while my wife went into the kitchen to start making dinner, for your children and partners like to eat early, school made them hungry.

"I mean it Ellie I want you down these stirs ready to explain to me about this by the time I count to three." I yelled.

This time I got an answer.

"Well there's no rush then is there." She yelled, screaming at me mentally that she wasn't a child and didn't need to tell me every little thing about her social life.

I was her telepathic father, what else did she expect me to behave like.

"I mean it Ellie!" I shouted.

This pause was incredible short now and I heard her grab her bag and now changed outfit.

"Why haven't you started counting then?" She challenged and threw her dirty clothes in her bathroom.

"Right that is _it_." I growled just as she appeared at the top of the stairs, wearing an incredibly short black dress, incredibly high heels and an _incredible_ amount of makeup.

My eyes narrowed, "If you think your leaving this house looking like that, your sadly mistaken." I snarled.

She flipped her hair and strutted down the stairs towards me, unfortunately for her; even in her stupid shoes she was still smaller than me, so the effect of her remark was sadly lost.

"Dad I'm not a child." She said and went to storm out when I caught her arm.

"You're right." I snarled, "You're _my_ child."

Ellies face hardened, "We've all grown up dad why can't you see that?" She yelled and the remark I had been prepared to reprimand her with just didn't fit any more.

"If Charlie hadn't been kidnapped I doubt it would have taken him very long to get sick of being under your thumb just like the rest of us." She shouted but gasped when the words had left her mouth, and in her brain she pleaded to anyone who would listen to somehow help her take them back.

Unfortunately the only person who was listening was me.

I swallowed and straightened up, pretending what she had just said hadn't affected me as deeply as it in fact had.

"fine, tell your mother I won't be down for dinner." I said and stormed off to my study. The whole lower house seemed to shake with the vibrations the door made when I slammed it behind me.

I growled at myself, frustrated tears at the lack of leads I had on my son burning my eyes. I snarled and swiped all of the contents on my desk including the lap top onto the floor with a loud smash. Glass water and flowers flew everywhere as well as pieces of paper and long exhausted telephone directories.

I snarled and ran my hands through my hair, but stopped when my eyes fell on the shining piece of paper of A5 size that was situated on top of the crumpled pile of my belongings.

I swallowed and bent to pick it up, un creasing it carefully and setting it out of the top of the piano in front of me as I sat down in front of the keys,

I rested my hands an octave a part, but didn't even bother to press down, my heart wasn't in the playing any more, there were too many other serious things going on, rather than which note sounded nest with which chord.

I sighed and put my head in my hands, resting my elbows on top of the piano and taking a stuttering breath.

Things had been so much simpler when I didn't have kids, not that I would change anything about having kids for anything. But sometimes it just seemed all too easy to wish that things were different, not that they would ever change, I didn't want that.

I sighed, I had never thought that living forever would be easy, but neither had I thought it would be this hard.

"Edward?" A soft voice said form the doorway.

I looked to my right to see Bella walking towards me softly.

"You okay?" She asked gently and stepped onto raised wooden platform in front of the large glass wall where I was sitting. The sun danced across her skin and caused faint sparkles to appear all over her exposed flesh. Sun beams shone off of the diamonds on her wedding ring and as my eyes trailed up to her eyes, she looked at me anxiously.

I swallowed to make my smile seem more genuine.

"Yeh." I said softly and held my arms open. She came and sat beside me, tucked under my arm safely against my chest.

It was then as I sat there with her next to me, the sun shining of both of us. The smile on her face and the look in her eyes made me realise.

I knew _exactly_ what made forever worthwhile.

_My Bella_.

**Heya guys, so this chapter had both fluff and drama, hope it wasn't to sappy for you, but I really enjoyed writing this. Things are starting to get back to normal for the Cullen's (besides Charlie being missing and impending doom...)**

**Might **_**not**_** be able to update tomorrow but I will try, definitely Wednesday though, I'll be up then! Preview for this chapter as well.**


	44. Walking in on the in laws

**Heya guys just a quick one to remind you of the preview on YouTube for the chapters I post, there's one for every chapter from chapter 26, so take them out. PLEASE, REVIEW! Xx**

The commentator on the screen screamed out of the TV at me as the opposition scored a touchdown, I growled as the moronic man who quite clearly knew nothing about football shouted from the screen.

"And it's a beautiful touchdown for the packers, after a taking a slight deflection..."

My eyes snapped up from here I was trying not to break the remote.

"Yeh, a slight deflection off of about nine players." I shouted and growled, turning the sound up so I wouldn't be told off for shouting in the house... _again._

"What you watching?" A deep voice asked from behind me.

I didn't turn around but remained sat with my arms folded across me, glaring at the TV.

"Packers verses the bears, we are _this_ close to losing and I swear to god if that phone rings and its Emmet gloating I will not be responsible for my actions."

Chris swallowed, "Okay then."

He sat down on the sofa beside my arm chair and we watched the game in complete silence, before the bears scored and I jumped up, screaming and unfortunately swearing.

Bella walked down the stairs, her face slightly ashen.

"Bella?" I asked and rushed forwards, putting my hands on her shoulders when she refused to meet my eyes.

"Bella my love what's the matter?" I demanded.

She swallowed and looked up at me with teary eyes.

"Didn't you hear the phone ring?" She asked, I only shook my head in response.

She swallowed, "It was my father's solicitor."

The whole house seemed to become silent for a few minutes.

"I need to go and see them tomorrow; they say they are leaving m the house." She continued.

It didn't take me long to see the very basic and obvious floor in this plan.

"But you're supposed to be one hundred years old; you can't go looking like you." I said.

She swallowed, "He knew, Edward he knew what we were, he said that however long it took, at some point they would find someone called Bella Cullen, living in Forks, and that even if I was his great great granddaughter, he wanted me to have the house."

I frowned, "So they think you're his great great grand daughter, who just is called Bella for names sake."

She nodded, "How could he have known what we are Edward?"

I took a deep breath and rubbed her hands in mine.

"You know that day, when we went to say good bye and you left me alone with him for five minutes."

She nodded, not really understanding my point.

"I told him then." I breathed.

Bella gasped, "_You _told him."

I nodded, "I wanted to tell you I just..."

"How could you have lied to me leek that Edward, _me_!"

"I wanted to tell you I just..." I tried but again she cut me off by screaming and crying. I was unsure what frightened me more, the level of her agonised wailing or the tears.

"You just _what_ Edward?" She demanded.

I swallow, "I didn't know how."

As soon as I spoke those words, all the fight seemed to go out of her, and she walked back over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and pressing her face into my chest.

I stroked her back and kissed her hair, "I'm sorry."

She shook her head; face still hidden, "I know why you did it."  
There was a brief pause before she cut me off before I could apologise again.

"Can you come with me tomorrow; it's a Saturday so we aren't missing school?"

I hushed her and kissed her forehead, "of course I will sweetheart."

Bella smiled and ran her hand down my arm, taking my hand and biting her lip.

I felt my brows furrow in confusion.

"Bella what are you doing?" I asked as she began to pull me towards the stairs.

She smiled wider, "I think this is a cause for celebration."

I growled quietly and pulled her over my shoulder, before walking towards my study.

"Edward?" She giggled.

I snarled and ripped her top as I lay her on the top of my desk, which I swept the stuff that had been on top of it onto the floor. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I trapped her hands above her head. I placed hot kisses up her hest towards her throat, and she gave off a gently moan.

I took her there and then, there was nothing romantic about it, but nor could I deny it.

Bella somehow managed to get my shirt off without the use of her hands or legs, so I was unsure how she did it. But before I could think it over it was slipped off of my shoulders and onto the floor.

She smiled as I began to move over her body like she was a land I needed to conquer, and boy would I conquer it.

"Edward?" She gasped after another three seconds.

"Umm..." I responded, not able to form proper words because I was too caught up in fawning over rand practically worshiping her chest.

"I think I just heard the door open." She mumbled.

I shoved the thought away, but froze when I heard the conversation going on outside in the hall.  
"Chris what are you doing?" My eldest daughter asked her fiancée.

There was a pause as Chris swallowed and stopped himself from seemingly shaking.

"What's the matter?" Renesmee asked.

Chris gulped and I pulled back from my wife in shock as he spoke.  
"There are just some things you can't un see."

**Oh dear, chrism walks in on Bella and Edward having sex... what will happen, find out in the next chapter. PS, it's not been a good week for me, so please be nice in your reviews, and if I don't update very often, please don't get flaming with your comments. xx**


	45. Fight for this love

**Heya guys, once AGAIN this authors note is to remind you about the trailers for each chapter, this chapters one is dedicated to LALA, who picked to song artist, so enjoy! Xx**

**Also a note for ABC, you NEED to watch the next one ! xx**

Chris POV

My fiancée just stared at me dumfounded, and I prayed she would say something soon, otherwise when her father came out I was as good as dead. Should I get down on my knees and beg his forgiveness. I puffed out my chest mentally; I had more pride than that.

The really tragic thing was, I really _didn't. _

I stared at Renesmee in shock as a smile that was repressing a laugh spread across her face.

"What are you smiling at?" I demanded.

She let out a kind of squeal before she answered.

"Your thinking about ums boobs aren't you?" She asked.

My eyes nearly fell out of my head, how could she possibly be so okay with that if I was? The problem was, when I thought that, I _did_ in fact think of my soon to be mother in laws naked chest, which earnt a very large sash from Edwards office. I could only assume that whatever had been broken had _been_ broken thanks to my telepathic soon to be _father_ in law.

"Run..." I said to Ness just as the door behind me flew open and a rather pissed Edward stormed out. He completely ignored me and barged through me and Renesmee towards the kitchen. I couldn't really make out the words he was saying, but I was sure I had a pretty good idea what... or rather _who_ they were about.

"Go and talk to him." Ness said and turned to walk away.

"Are you _mad_, he'll have my dice in a vice before I can even _blink_?" I quietly screamed at her.

She just smiled and then declared at the top of her voice.

"I'm thirsty, can you get me a drink while you're in the kitchen, _thanks_." Then she ran off.

I grumbled almost silently to myself as I walked into the kitchen. Edward was pulling two cans of coke out of the fridge, and to my utter amazement, he threw one to me.

"Thanks." I muttered cautiously, feeling extremely self conscious as I drank form it. Parts of me were nearly one hundred percent sure that he was about to ram the can down my threat, causing me to choke on the metal.

I swallowed noisily.

"You want to go bowling tonight, before the spring fling, that doesn't start till eight?"He asked.

My drink very nearly went everywhere.

I coughed in response, "Me?"

He rolled his eyes, "Its not like a date, Anthony is coming as well, so are Emmet and Jasper."

I swallowed again, "okay, sure."

"Good." He said and turned and walked out of the room.

The pit of my stomach rolled, because I swore I heard him chuckle darkly to himself.

I spun and ran upstairs to mine and Ness's room; she was sat on the bed doing her makeup.

The door shut behind me and I plumped back against it, chest heaving and heart going a hundred to the dozen.

"Chris?"

I looked up and swallowed, "he wants to go bowling."

Her eyes narrowed, "And?"

I stood upright, "Do you have any idea how many hurtful and possibly fatal things he can do to me in a blowing alley?"

She rolled her eyes, "Like what?"

"_Like_ having your head shoved in a ball return, let me tell you it _isn't _a scalp massage!"

She sighed, "it will be nice for you to spend some time with him, preferably _before _our wedding.  
"Well thanks for mentioning that, now I know just how much it concerns you that your father hates me." I smirked at her and folded my arms.

She sighed and got up off the bed, walking over and wrapping her arms around me.

"He treats you like his son, I think it's time you started treating him like your father." She breathed.

I froze, "I can't Ness."  
"Why?" She demanded, pulling her arms away, my god she was almost as bi polar as her mother.

I mentally scrubbed that thought, but unlike in my dreams, daggers did not shoot out of the floor and stab me.

"Because I already _have_ a father, a biological one, who may not love me and has deserted me but I can't..." I swallowed and she glared harder.

"You can't even accept the fact that you belong to this family now Chris, you still hope and dream that the wolves will take you back so you can play Alpha." She said cuttingly.

I did my best not to snarl, "Think what you want, but I have given everything up for you Ness."

"In ever asked you to." She yelled, tears rolling down her face.

"And this is totally unrelated to what I saw your mum and dad doing I assume?" I shouted sarcastically.

She growled, "As a matter of fact Chris my life does not pivot around you, you need to grow up and realise that your being as stubborn as my father is."

There was quiet for a few minutes.

"I'll see you at spring fling." I muttered and grabbed my keys.

"Where are you going?" She asked quietly and sniffed.

I threw on my jacket.

"I'm going bowling, _with_ your _father_ to prove to you just what you mean to me." I said and slammed the door after me.

Surprisingly when I got in the Volvo to find Edward who was waiting in the driver's seat and Anthony in the back, neither of them mentioned my fight with Renesmee.

"You sure you want to come?" Edward asked quietly.

I nodded, and that was all the explanation I gave.


	46. The zebra with breasts

**This chapter and its preview are dedicated to ABC, who shall remain anominous, mainly for the reason that I don't know who they are. Whoever you are, this is for you. Xx**

Renesmee POV

I walked slowly down the stairs, well aware of just how desperate for comfort I looked.

It was also very clear at the fore front of my mind that this was the first real fight me and Chris had ever had. Of course there had been the dark times before he had come to join us in our family. There were all the times I had fought with dad _about_ him, but I could to recall a time where it had taken this long for one of us to apologise.

I trudged down the hall of dads study, looking through the crack in the door with silent distaste as mum spoke on the phone to dad. Okay it was _about_ me and Chris rather than them playing the 'what are you wearing game', but it was just that Chris hadn't phoned to apologise.

Okay I hadn't phoned _him_ either, but why should I?

I meant what I said, and I shouldn't apologise for that. I almost startled myself by how much like my father I was acting.

Mum sighed and hung up, tuning to me with a sad smile and her arms open. I rushed forwards and cried into her bath robe. She stroked my hair and hushed me, and I was so thankful that she was here, mum and dad always knew what the say, and I regretted all the times I had made them doubt just how good at parenting they were.

"I meant what I said mum, I didn't think he would react like that." I muttered thickly.

She hushed me, "I know sweetheart, and the first fights always the hardest."

I swallowed, "But what if he leaves me."

"He can't." She said simply, as though it explained everything.

Unfortunately I was left feeling confused.

"What?" I asked and pulled away to sniff and look into her eyes.

She smiled and touched my cheek, before speaking softly and thoughtfully, as if she were quoting a famous text.

"When it's real Renesmee, you can't walk away." She breathed, and I didn't need by several psychological degrees to know she was talking about love.

She smiled and went to walk out of the door when I called after her.

"Who told you that?" I asked, as if I needed to.

As if on cue she answered exactly what I expected her to.

"Your dad told me that." She whispered and looked absentmindedly down at her left hand, ring glinting in the lamp light when she fluttered her fingers.

"He told me that a long time ago, when I was very young, when we both were." She whispered and shut the door behind her.

I swallowed and pulled out my phone, he answered on the first ring, and I smiled sadly when he all but shouted down the phone.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry."

The conversation didn't last long, and by the time me and Chris had _made up_, mum and dad had already had another argument.

I didn't know what it was about, but I had heard the start of it.

At the time I had been getting a drink from the kitchen when I saw them in the lounge.

Dad walked up the steps towards her with an innocent smile on his face.

"Edward." Mums face was turning red.

"Bella..." He stepped closer to her.

"Anthony..." And redder.

"Love..." He took another step.

"Masen.." Her eyes went narrow.

"Sweetheart..." And closer.

"_Cullen!_" And angry.

"Ah." Was dads lame defence before she threw herself at him.

She knocked him to the floor and straddled him, and to her utter outrage, he made no attempt to move his hands from where they were _defending_ him, against her chest.

She smacked his hands away and growled in his face, and you could actually pin point the moment where it began to dawn on dad that she wasn't very happy.

"You flirted with that girl at the bowling alley didn't you, the ginger one, who walked out naked _accidently_ in front of you from the changing rooms the first term we moved here." Mum snarled.

Dad rolled his eyes, a strange sight since he was lying on the floor.

"I never even thought about it I promise." He said earnestly.

There was a pause before dad decided to back himself up further, for he could see as I could that mum was wavering and on the very edge of letting him off.

"I never ever think about any other girls naked besides you, in fact thinking about you is most of the time what I'm doing." He said.

The pause was short, but not what dad was hoping for.

"You think about me naked?" She demanded.

Dad frowned, "Yeh."

She scowled, "You think about me naked like I'm some cheap slut who gets her boobs out for a magazine..."

Dad raised his hands again, slowly this time, to hover over her chest.

"Last time I looked I was the _only_ person you got _your_ boobs out for." He breathed.

I was waiting for mum to make a cutting remark about Chris walking in on them but she didn't.

Instead she sighed, "Alright I'll let you off, but you have to promise me that you won't think about me in a dirty way ever again."

Dad looked shocked, "Do you _realise_ how impossible that is."

Mum blinked, "how?"

Dad rolled his eyes, "If I tell you right now _not_ to think about zebras, what do you think about?"

Mum answered almost immediately.

"A zebra with breasts."


	47. Key words

BELLA POV

I smoothed the front of my dress down. Even after being told repeatedly every day by Edward and my family how beautiful I looked, any mother would tell you that after being pregnant you become very conscious of your stomach.

I swallowed when I thought of all the times I had been pregnant, and now the fact that I had only three out of six children at home and safe with me.

I let out a deep breath and looked myself over, there wasn't a hair out of place, and the smile on my face seemed well rehearsed, as it had been over one century. It didn't even falter when tears began to build up in my eyes, but I could see through it, and I knew Edward would.

I sniffed and wiped my eyes on the back of my finger, which came back un blackened. I said a silent thank you to Alice, and swallowed.

"Get a grip Bella." I chided myself quietly. I wanted to give Edward one night to be calm and carefree, to be a teenager.

Almost as our prom had been when I discovered I was pregnant with Anthony, that hadn't been _that_ stressful.

I looked up as Edwards hand came down on my shoulder from behind and his other ran through my hair. His lips touched my temple gently and I watched in the mirror as he frowned and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"What's the matter my love?" He asked.

I swallowed and shook my head, "Just thinking about everything."

His frown depend, "That's a lot to think about, want to share any of it?  
Again I shook my head, "Not tonight."

I turned and around wrapped my arms around his neck, him doing his best to smile for mer. I stretched up to kiss his cheek.

"You look handsome." I complimented and corrected his tie.

He scoffed, "I look okay, but next to you, I look like a tramp."

I giggled as he swung me sideways and kissed me with me trapped in his arms.

The smile didn't leave my face as I hooked my arms around his neck and laughed as he set me upright.

He touched his forehead to mine and whispered against my lips.

"I do love you, you know that don't you."

I smiled and kissed him softly, "I do know that."

He smiled and sighed.

"If only it was enough to protect..." he started but I cut him off by covering his mouth with my finger.

"You promised me that you wouldn't speak of that this evening." I reminded him. He sighed and kissed my finger, causing me to lower my hand.

"I know," He sighed.

I smiled and took his hand, "try and be a teenager."

He rolled his eyes, "But I haven't had any practise."

I smiled, "But you're still amazing."

He took a step closer to me and I kissed him before he could come up with some cheesy response that I knew would top mine more times than I cared to count.

Instead I took his hand, "Come on then lover boy, lets go play boyfriend and girl friend."

Edward frowned as we walked down the stairs, out children already having left for the 'spring fling.'

"I am _not_ a boy friend." He said.

I almost laughed, "Oh?"

"I am a well authorised chaperone gone husband." He said firmly as I turned off the lights, his hand still in mine.

I sighed, "Well you can be a _chaperone_ all you want but only a boyfriend can pull hormonal boys away from me."

I could have sworn I saw Edwards jaw flex, but in his eyes I saw something that made me want to not only laugh, but point as well.

"Edward are you nervous?" I asked.

"no." He said to quickly, his eyes not meeting mine as he helped me put my wrap on.

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips.

"Oh sweetheart..." I sighed happily as we walked down towards the car

"I am _not_ nervous about this stupid dance; I am rationally concerned for the amount of testosterone in the room." He snapped and slammed his car door before we sped off down the drive.

"Did you turn the fan off in the bathroom?" I asked nonchalantly, well aware have how much like an old married couple we sounded like.

A part of my brain also registered the irony in that statement, but I paid no mind to it.

Edward nodded his posture very tense.

I smiled and rubbed his shoulder gently.

"I don't know what you're worried for, I can take care of myself."

His response wasn't exactly what I had in mine, but he touched on the subject I knew he would.

"No. However much as I may spend ninety nine percent of my time being over protective; tonight that isn't my main concern." He growled.

I frowned, "Who then?"

He sighed, "Ellie is going with that Ben Barnes who I punched the other day, and I am _not_ looking forward to all the gossiping thoughts of the hormonal people in the room."

I moved my hand to stroke his tense bicep tenderly.

"I can always shield you...if you want." I finished when his eyes went dark.

As I expected, he shook his head.

"It makes me un easy not being able to read everyone else's mind, especially Alice's." He said, and I knew not to press him on it. So I just sat there quietly, massaging his shoulder gently.

We pulled up in front of school and Edward parked up, before walking around to my side while I waited _patiently_.

He helped me out and I gave him a thank you kiss.

We then entered the hall and he sighed.

"The key word for this evening is _fun_." I told him quietly as we walked over to join the family.

Edward scoffed, and I sighed, knowing not to expect anything more than patience from him.

My husband's key word for this evening.

_Patience. _


	48. So far apart

**Heya guys, I'm sorry to LALA that yet again I couldn't use her song in my preview, I couldn't find it on ITunes, so I apologise, anyway my new story is up, so check it out. xx**

Edward POV 

If there was one thing I hated more than pretending to be a normal human teenage boy, it was having to pretend to be one in public.

Bella's hand was tight in mine as we stood talking to Alice and Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie were busy scouring over the DJ selection, I was about to get up there and tell them to turn the racket down a bit, for the safety of my children ear drums, when my wife, sensing my annoyance, hushed me quietly.

I was making a conscious effort not to spin around and tell that obnoxious little boy Ben Barnes to keep his opinions to himself when Bella was pulling me onto the dance floor.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and stretched up on her toes to kiss me gently. I groaned and ran my hands down her back repeatedly.

"You haven't even spoken to him, try and remember that." She reminded me, and I didn't need a written explanation about exactly who _he_ was.

"I don't need to speak to him; I can read his thoughts _remember._" I stressed and she laughed, resting her head against my chest. I kissed the top of her head and she smiled into my shirt.

"You look beautiful." I whispered and she beamed, pulling back to look at me, although I saw in her eyes that she was about to start.

"Bella..." I sighed but she cut me off, her voice low however it still carried over the music.

"I want you to make a conscious_ effort_ to have a civil conversation with him, _and_ I want you to apologise." She stated.

My eyes went wide, "Whatever _for_?"

"For punching him." She said as if she were speaking to an infant.

I fought the urge to snort but settle on rolling my eyes. This time she not only spoke like she was talking to a child, but she looked at me like I was actually that immature.

A third party would have argued that that was _exactly_ what I was behaving like, but I knew otherwise.

I knew that my feelings towards this hormonal boy were valid and there for very true, it was only a matter of getting my wife and daughter to share my opinion.

Without having to be telepathic, I knew just how unlikely that was.

"Edward please, it's important to me, and to her." She said and both our eyes lifted to the right where Ellie was stood with Ben and her sister and her fiancée.

I glared at Renesmee briefly causing her to apologise mentally. I frowned, feeling betrayed, my strongest ally was indeed a traitor; I should have known the girls would stick together, they did _everything_ in packs.

The almost wolf phrase made me think over my daughters relationship history, I could think of only one person that she had intimately been with, after all they were married... _Jacob_.

I very nearly gagged.

"Edward." Bella said firmly, and it was then that I realised that she had been speaking when I had been cursing myself for not killing Jacob with my bare hands, all of those blue prints, now wasted.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked.

I sighed and looked back at Ellie, "About Jacob."

Bella froze in my arms and I looked back down at her to see her shift uncomfortably.  
"What is it?" I demanded.

She looked up at me with sad eyes.

"Okay.. look.. I need to tell you something and you have to _promise_ that you want go mental." She said quietly.

I nodded, my eyes narrowing with the sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind that I was going to both regret and go back on that promise.

Bella swallowed, "Jacob isn't dead."

There was complete silence between us, and you could ahve cut the tension with a Spork, a plastic, bent Spork.

Even though the bass of the music was thudding around us and people were laughing, drinking and shouting. I knew that all of our family were watching me and Bella like the last toss at a baseball game.

"Edward..."

"What do you mean he's not dead, as in he's still alive?" I demanded, trying my up most not to shout, I came incredibly close to failing as well, _that's _how mad and betrayed I was.

Bella nodded, tears in her eyes, and right there behind her irises what the answer to my next question, so I demanded the answer I wanted most. I shook my head in disbelief, eyes wide and hurt.  
"You let him go didn't you?" I growled and she swallowed, shaking her head.

"I didn't have anything..." her voice was quiet and I was towering over her before she could blink.

I snarled, "Do _not_ lie to my face."

She sniffed but nodded, and a part of my heart that had been left solely to my final victory over Jacob shattered. All this time when I thought that he was gone, that I could finally be sure that my wife loved me more than him, that part of me just couldn't live anymore.

"I let him go, I didn't know if you were coming back so i told him to go, that I never wanted to see him again, that I love you." She breathed.

Even though I knew her words were true, I couldn't help but release the hurt I was feeling.  
"So you _lied_, you lied to everyone, even _me_." I said sadly.

She looked at me and swallowed, "I never wanted to hurt you..."

I was about to cut her off so she kept speaking.  
"I knew that if I told you the truth you would go after him, and I couldn't lose you like that if you got killed." She said, trying to make it all okay.

There were just some things that words couldn't fix.

"You should have trusted me to do the right thing, to at least have the benefit of the doubt, given me the chance to b the bigger man." I breathed.

She sniffed, "I take it from this that you aren't going to want to share a bed with me tonight?"

I shook my head and took a step away from her.

"It doesn't matter to me where you sleep." I said simply.

Tears rolled down her face, "Edward?"  
I swallowed, but the hurt and anger in my chest was to great to ignore. I stood up and looked down t her in anger.

"It doesn't matter to me whether you sleep in our room or the guest bedroom at home, it doesn't matter, because I won't be there regardless." I snarled and stormed out of the hall.


	49. If I dont tell you now

**Heya guys, check out the preview trailer, if it isn't uploaded when you do, keep looking there will be one soon. Also I am on holiday off of school for two weeks starting in two days, so there will be some updates then xx**

Edward POV

I walked slowly through the emergency room of Forks general. The place was full of drugs and homeless people who simply needed a shelter for the night. I could have sworn I saw one of the nurses give me the once over and I sighed sadly.

I knew I looked no better than the lay about littering the place, hair all over the place, completely soaked because I left the car for my wife to use. I was drenched and I looked a complete wreck, like I was either severely depressed or coming down off some major high.

Either way, I quite simply looked lost as I walked over to the reception. Shirley looked up at me with sad eyes.

I smiled back, all of the anger out of me now, I just wanted to sit and talk to Carlisle about what I wanted to do, which went hand in hand with what I _shouldn't_ do.

That was obviously to kill Jacob, but I knew there was no way I was going to be able to pull it off without some kind of bad reaction.

Not the praise that in my own mind would be well deserved for killing that almost home wrecking mutt. If he thought he could try and imprint on my child and hit on my wife _and_ try and kill me, he was going to be sadly mistaken.

I shook my head to clear the thoughts. However pleasurable it was to imagine Jacob dead, it was not going to happen at my hands, more was the pity.

I wasn't there to talk death tactics with Carlisle; I was there to let out my anger on why my wife hadn't told me.

"Is Carlisle in his office?"I asked, my voice sounding tight under all the strain of anger and immense despair. That fact that my _wife_ the one person I trusted absolutely, had gone behind my back. It wasn't even as though I hadn't seen this coming, I knew one day he'd get her to stab me in the back, even if she did it subconsciously.

Shirley nodded, "Go right on in dear."

I thanked her gruffly and flung open the door to Carlisle's office. He looked like he was ready for me.

"Have a seat." He said in his bedside manner. I sat opposite him and gripped the wooden arm rests of the chair so hard I thought the wood would warp.

"Esme called, she said Bella phoned her in tears." He explained.

I felt myself wince but quickly shoved it away, I was tougher than this. As a vampire with an absolute werewolf enemy, you _had _to be.

I sighed and put my head in my hands. "I just can't believe she lied to me." I whispered, very well aware of just how pathetic I sounded.

"I know son." Carlisle sighed.

I swallowed, throat tight, "I never meant to upset her I just..."

It was audible the way Carlisle frowned in confusion.

"But its okay for her to upset you?" He asked.

I felt like rolling my yes, but I was too concerned they would get stuck in the back of my head with the amount of dry tears that were coating them.

"I just never thought it would come to this." I whispered.

There was a short pause until Carlisle broke the silence.

"And what exactly is _this_?" He asked.

I sighed and shook my head, "I don't even know."

"Edward." He sighed, "Go home and talk to her."

I swallowed, "But..."

"_No_ Edward, go _home_." He said firmly. I sighed and stood up, nodding before walking back down the hall. A gurney passed me as I walked out into the car park. I swallowed and put my keys in the door to my Volvo.

I couldn't stop the frightened tears in my eyes as I thought about what would be waiting for me when I got home, or rather what I was scared _wouldn't_ be there.

It wasn't even though I was worried about something; I was petrified about losing some_one_.

I braced my hands flat against the paint work of my Volvo and gulped, leaning forwards so my head was hung in between my arms.

I thought I was alone until a soft voice carried over the noise of thoughts in my head, which made me freeze.

"Heya." She breathed.

I straitened up, still not turning around. It remained silent between us until her arms snaked around my waist from behind and she kissed between my shoulder blades, pressing her face into my back.

"I'm so sorry." She sniffed.

Another part of my conscience died, I didn't want her to cry, I _never_ wanted that.

I turned around and pulled her into a tight hug.

My lips pressed into her hair, "Let's go home."

She pulled back from my arms and looked up at me with watery eyes. At first I saw only sadness, a small glimmer of hope, but then when I looked harder, I saw confusion, as if she was waiting for me to confirm something.

It was then I realised what she wanted and I smiled gently.

"_Both_ of us." I breathed and she smiled hugely, jumping to wrap her arms and legs around me. I chuckled and held her tight to me, all the pain and hurt repressed but not forgotten.

Yes I was intent on killing Jacob the very next time I saw him, but I realised then and there, that anything could happen to at any time, and I needed Bella to have no doubt in her mind just how much I loved her.

If I was killed by Aro an hour form then Bella would be certain that I loved her more than anything.

Because sometimes, it was just too scary to realise that if I didn't tell her that now, I may never get the chance again.

Unfortunately for Jacob, I realised as I lay Bella out in front of me on the back seat of my Volvo, her pleasured face gleaming in the lamp light with her hair fanning around her face like a heavenly being.

It was at that moment I smiled to myself and kissed her neck hard.

Whatever Jacob said or did in the future to my wife, her future was _my_ future.

There was no way we could leave for one another, and now I had another string in my bow in my war against Jacob.

Eternity buys a guy a lot of patience.


	50. If Tomorow never comes

Bella POV

I hummed to myself as I scrolled through the inbox on the school lap top. As head of the year book planning committee, it was my job to make sure that everyone handed in the photos they wanted in time for the final publication. I sighed but smiled just as arms snaked around my shoulders from behind and lips pressed into my neck.

I laughed, "Kissing up to the year book editor, nice move."

He smiled and Aimee and Anthony chuckled where he was embracing her across from us at her desk.

"Well dads hoping for a double page spread on himself, maybe even a third page, just for his _hair_." Anthony laughed and Edward rolled his eyes.

Aimee beamed, "Come on, I need you to pick a picture for yourself, you can do it now before you suck out again." She said and towed my son by the hand back into the other room where the rest of the computers were.

I smiled after them and Edward pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and kissed my temple.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked and I swallowed, nodding and turning off the computer. He rubbed my shoulder as I packed up my stuff and took my hand as I stood.

"Are you _sure_ you want to do this?" He asked, "I can go on my own."

I shook my head, "he was my dad, this is what he wanted, and for once in my life, I'm going to do what he wanted." I said and pushed past him, marching out towards the car.

In two strides Edward was back walking beside me and took my hand, rubbing it gently in his palm.

I swallowed, "Will you do most of the talking, and you have to _promise_ not to let the guy corner me or send me in on my own, you can't leave me by myself, I'll panic..." I stated to rant.

"Hey." He hushed me and pulled me into a hug, my arms tight around his middle face pressed into his chest.

He kissed my hair, "I'll hold your hand all the way through it."

I nodded, I was unsure whether it was because I was so nervous _just_ what Charlie had left me in his will rather than having to pretend to not be his daughter. I had been fine until about ten minutes ago, when the clock had ticked around for Edward to come and collect me from the year book committee room, and then I began to panic.

Edward gently lifted me into the car and I swallowed, trying incredibly hard not to hyperventilate as we pulled away from school and down into town. It was a dark day, and rain began to plummet from the sky like in the penultimate scene of war of the worlds.

The building was dark and drab, just as I imagined a lawyers to look like. Edward parked and climbed out of the car, holding his jacket over my head to stop my hair from getting wet, but in the process getting him soaked.

I was about to reprimand him for it when I decided against it, I was frightened if I opened my mouth I would just burst into tears.

Edwards hand was tight in mine as we walked into the dry; however the room and entire building was no warmer than it was in the open air.

"Edward and Bella Cullen." My husband said in his business tone.

The old woman behind the counter nodded and told us to go on through. We rounded the corner and Edward went to knock on the door when I caught his hand in mine.

I swallowed and looked up at him with teary eyes.

"I can't go in there." I said my breathing fast and erratic.

He nodded as if he had been guessing this much all belong.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

I nodded, "Can you just go in please, I'll wait out here." I said.

He frowned, "Positive?"

I swallowed and kissed his cheek, "I promise."

Edward sighed and knocked on the door before going inside, I sat down on one of the waiting chairs and crossed my legs, eyes fixed on the clock as the second hand ticked around.

Nearly two hours later Edward walked out, shutting the door behind him and handing the receptionist a piece of appear. She nodded and pulled a wadded envelope out from under the desk, before wishing us a good day, causing Edward to smile in a forced manner and turn back to me.

I stood up, tears in my eyes as he put the wadded envelope in my hands before covering it with his own.

"What is it?" I asked and sniffed.

He touched his forehead to mine and whispered against my eyelids.

"Its Charlie's last will and testament, also inside are the keys to your old house, there's also... a couple of letters in there, to me and you." He said gently.

The tears were pouring down my cheeks now and he hushed me, pulling me into his side and leading me out into the car.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Edward broke it.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He whispered.

I swallowed, "my home if with you and my children, with my brothers and sisters and Carlisle and Esme. We need to go to Charlie's." I stressed and he nodded.

He kissed my temple, "he'd be incredibly proud of you, just as I am."

I swallowed and leant my head n his shoulder, the envelope wrapped in my arms against my chest.

"You think?" I whispered.

Edward nodded and pulled away from the car lot, but I remained tight by his side.

"I _know_ he would." He whispered.

The rest of the journey was all but silent as we pulled up outside of the white house I could ony barely remember. Edward gave my hand a gently squeeze.

"You ready?" he asked.

I nodded, "it hasn't changed a bit, I thought it would... be different, I didn't realise it would be the same." I mused.

Edwards lips were against my temple again, "Some things stay the same forever."

I turned to smile at him sadly, "We'll take care of each other wont we?"

He nodded, "Always."


	51. Personal identity

Anthony POV

I groaned as me and Chris pushed my truck up the final bend of the drive to our house. I was cynically glad that mum and dad were at the lawyers so dad wasn't around to do his speech about how could have bought me a better car for less money than it was taking to keep my Chevy truck working. In truth I was only using it because mum had driven one when she first met dad, and Ness wouldn't be seen dead in one, so it was basically down to me to keep that half of my heritage alive.

"keep pushing." I shouted at Chris where he was pushing the other half of the car, me being in charge of keeping the thing straight.

"I _am_." He snarled.

It only took a few more strides before it rolled to a stop in the garget. I chuckled and wiped my hands on yam jeans , slamming the door shut just as Chris walked around to face me form where he had been pushing, his glare murderous.  
"What?" I tried to ask innocently," I'm saving for a new fuel pump."

"Yeh?" He asked, "Save _faster_."

I rolled my eyes and followed him into the house, him grumbling things about how much of a failure I was at just about everything.

"I don't understand why you don't just _ask_ your father for some money to get it fixed, or even better, ask your aunt rose to do it?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes and sat on the sofa, catching to soda he caught at me and cracking it in one hand.

"there is no way I am going to ask my father because he'll just scrap my truck and buy me a new one." I said simply, taking a long sip while Chris continued to look at me through narrowed eyes.  
"Why is that a bad thing?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes again, "And besides, mum wont like that anyway, she was the one who though it was the most humane thing to do to us at kids was to only gave us pocket moment. Of course dad would always slip us cash whenever we needed it, but mum doesn't know that."

I looked as Chris did as mum and dad stumbled into the house, him holding her in his arms with her arms tight around his neck. Their lips were tight together and there was an awful lot of groaning going on. They pulled apart and mum beamed, kissing his lip before grabbing her bag again.

"I'm going to finished year book editing; I'll be back in time for dinner." She sang and flitted from the house.

Dad groaned and flopped down onto the armchair, folding his arms and glaring at the TV as a man on the news led a detailed explanation on why the wearing of superhero costumed had been banned at all major sporting events. It was only three minutes before dad felt the need to vent his own opinion.

"This is a completely pointless decision, so they've banned superheroes at foot ball matches, what if there is a real emergency?" he demanded.

Chris raised an eyebrow at him and I rolled my eyes.

"Anything else you'd like to complain about dad?" I asked and his eye narrowed into the distance.

"Your sister was draped all over the boy Ben Barnes again at lunch I assume." He growled.

Chris made it very clear even without saying anything that he wasn't going to grass on Ellie. Dad knew this without having to be telepathic, meaning he was staring at me, waiting for an answer.

Unfortunately for me, I inherited my lying skills from my mother.

I swallowed, "He bought her a necklace."

Chris cursed at me and dad froze, his lips curving back over the top of his teeth.

"What?" He snarled and his eyes turned flat black, although i could have sworn that there were flickers of red gleaming around the edge.

There were the sound of tires on the driveway and dad stood bolt upright, flying form the house just as the car stopped moving. We followed him at a distance watching sadly as he pulled Ellie form the car and told Ben that if he wanted o have his legs attached to his body, he had better use them to speed away from the house.

At first Ben seemed to think that it was some kind of practical joke, until he saw the look on mine and Chris, Ellie and dads faces and when dad started counting.

The jeep disappeared in a cloud of black smoke and Ellie looked at dad with wide eyes.

"What's the matter with you?" she cried and pulled away from him.

"You are never seeing him again, I nearly lost everything trying to get you back and you _are not_ going to play leek some jumped up where with the school player." He snarled in her face.

Dad and Ellie fought nearly as much s dad and mum did, maybe it was because they were so alike, or maybe because they were so different I could not tell.

If the situation had not been so serious, I was sure Chris would have joined me in letting out a low whistle as Ellie smack dad hard across the face.

Dad stood there growling at her while tears fell down her face.

"I'm not a little girl anymore dad." She breathed, desperately wanting him to understand.

Although it seemed to me that dad was simply past listening, or caring about what she wanted.

"You will always be my little girl," He breathed, "All I want is time to grow used to the idea of you being a woman."

She swallowed and shook her head, "to late."

Dads eyes narrowed, "What do you mean?"

She sighed, "I don't want to be your daughter anymore, from now on I'm using mums maiden name." She said and silence fell over the entire forest."

"What?" Dad snarled.

"I'll be staying with Ben."She whispered and turned to get in her own car when dad caught her arm.

"Your my daughter don't you _dare_ turn your back on me?" He growled, but it was a heart broken sound, rather than an angered.

Ellie swallowed, looking far older than she normally did.

"Your physically the same as I am dad, no one's going to listen to you." She said cuttingly and dads hand fell away.

She dropped her back on the floor, only holding her keys in her hand as she yanked open the car door, her belongings scatted between us and her.

"I'll get in touch with Jay Jenks Junior, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to change my last name on all my documents from Cullen to _swan_." She stressed and climbed into the car, leaving us in a cloud of her dirt.

When it settled dad was straitening up, holding Ellies open wallet in his hand, he pulled her driver's licence from the plastic wallet.

"Dad are you okay?" I called after two minutes.

He looked up through the forest to see mums car at the end of the driveway, pulled up alongside Ellies.

"Are you alright?" I pressed.

Dad shook his head before turning back to march back into the house.

"_No."_ He snarled and I heard his study door slam about a second after he had disappeared inside.

"What's going on?" A voice demanded.

We both spun to see mum marching up towards us.

I swallowed and glanced at Chris for help, but he refused to meet my eyes.

"Well?" She demanded and there was a crash from inside.


	52. Safe

Bella POV

I sighed, tears in my eyes as I glanced from my son and almost son in laws eyes to my husband's study door. I swallowed and padded softly through the house, slipping out of my heels as I went to push open the door to his study.

I knocked a coupled of times and waited as patiently as I could manage.

"What?" He growled back and I swallowed; the sound almost as though his face was being pressed into something. I thought my husband and his general body language through; he was probably sat with his head in his hands, elbows resting on top of the piano.

"Edward," I breathed, "Edward its Bella can I come in?" I asked.

I got no initial response, but neither did he tell me _not_ to come in, so I took it to mean that I could.

When I opened the door Edward was indeed sat at his piano with his head in his hands on top of it, several pictures of me and the family appearing to be scattered all over the floor in shattered frames. There was a heavy amount of rubbish in here from where we had tried to track Jay and Zara.

Nearly a month had gone by since our son had been taken and we were still no closer to finding him. To say that Edward was frustrated about not even knowing where to _start_ was an understatement, Edward never did anything slowly, especially not something as important as this.

The other scary thing was that we still had only the Denali's for help and the promise of _Heidi_, who had tried to shoot me. Which left us all without help, even if we did get Charlie back home, in just over five months to Volturi would be in Forks to kill us all, and in that time, Charlie may not have a home to return to regardless.

I didn't want to pretend to understand the direct feud between our youngest daughter and her father. I knew that Edward was firm that it was about losing her to a boy he disliked nearly as much as Jacob, but I was also quietly confident that it had something to do with him not feeling he was doing a very good job at protecting his children.

Edward, for a man who had spent half of his life alone and believing he would never have children was a fantastic father, he was caring and decisive and they loved him more than anything.

But he had no balance of human emotions.

Edward had spent nearly his entire life, well the one he could remember, being a vampire. Even when he met me, meaning that all of the human inequalities and feelings were new to him, which made him feel unbearable and he tended to be over protective.

Even though this was greatly annoying it was something I could live with, until of course, the worse happened.

After the _accident_ Edward swung too far back the other way on his pendulum of emotions, and he left me. I knew he thought he was doing it for my own good, but we both knew presently that we couldn't, _wouldn't_ leave one another again.

I was stood behind him now. I smiled softly yet sadly and wrapped my arms around his chest from behind, kissing his neck which caused him to ease up slightly.

At least, he uncovered his eyes. He sat back so he was leaning against my stomach and fiddled with a picture of the all of us last Christmas, the one I recognised of having being placed in his wallet since that day.

Iran my fingers through his hair gently, and began to ironically muse to myself as to what he was thinking about in the head he kept so much in.

I hugged him tighter to me and he swallowed.

"I guess you know about what happened?" He asked.

I nodded, "yeh."

Edward seemed to process this for a moment before he was speaking again.

"Would you ever do that to me?"He breathed and looked up at me sadly, eyes full of tears.

I shook my head and snuffed, "_never_."

He didn't look convinced and was about to interrupt when I took his face in my hand and crouched down by his side to gaze up into his eyes, my fingers tracing the plains of his face.

"You and me, that's all that matters Edward, that's all that will_ ever_ matter." I whispered and he swallowed.

"But if I was just enough for you..." He started.

"No." I said firmly and locked my lips over his, preventing him from continuing his absurd rant.

"Edward I love you." I whispered and was suddenly being pulled to sit in his alp facing him, legs around his middle, hands in his hair, his own hands under my but.

"I love you to." he growled and stood fluidly to lay me on the piano. I no longer had the strength or will to stop him from taking me there and then.

I knew it was what we both needed, the carnal desire to fawn over one another taken us completely over, until he was all I could see both in front and behind the fog misting over my eyes.

My eyes rolled further back into my head as his satin fingers danced over then pressed into my hips, causing then the slide down his stomach towards his legs.

"I'll keep you safe..." he whispered, before I lost all manner to speak and think coherently.


	53. A Letter

Edward POV

I all but skipped down the stairs, sliding down the banister of the final flighty. I beamed just as my wife walked past, me grabbing her in my arms and pulling her in for a steamy kiss. I pulled away to beam at her and she looked at me with wide eyes.

"You're in a good mood." She noted and giggled as I spun her out and then back in again.

I raised my eyebrows, "Am I not allowed to be happy on my birthday?" I asked, and my eldest two children mentally cursed, clearly having forgotten this annually event.

My wife beamed and jumped to wrap her arms and legs around me, locking my lips over hers.

I pulled back after a minutes, "This doesn't count as one of my birthday kissed by the way."

She pressed her mouth over mine again, "Why ever not."

I chuckled, "It only counts when _I_ kiss _you_."

Her lips were over mine again, "Well thank your clearing that up."

I growled playfully and my hands fell to her ass as we ended up falling back on the sofa. As trivial as it sounded, I tended to lose sight of things like _standing_ and where I _was_ when I was kissing my wife. "Oh my god _please_." A voice gagged and we pulled a part to look towards the direction of the door, where Ellie was stood with her hands over her eyes as if she had just seen something far worse than kissing.

The corner of my mouth tugged up without instruction, "Its just _kissing_."

Bella giggled, "And we still have two hundred and six to get through so if you don't mind..." She trailed off and I chuckled as he lips trailed up and down my neck.

Ellie gagged, "You'd better not be like this later on in time for your present."

I frowned, "Why couldn't you be more like your brother and _not get_ me anything?"

"I resent that thank you very much." Anthony said as he walked down stairs with Aimee, holding hands tight between then.

I put my wife down so Aimee could hug and wish me happy birthday.

Anthony spoke once I pulled away and he was sure I had his undivided attention over this particular lie he was going to elaborate over.

"So where is this amazing present?" I asked.

He frowned and I laughed.

Bella giggled, "it's still in the shop isn't it?" She said and went with Aimee to make breakfast. Ellie ran off upstairs to change, so I assumed she was moving back in. The father in me wanted to demand to know what happened that was so awful with been that she needed to flee back here after one day.

Although the other more prominent half was deign a secret victory dance over the little pricks body.

Anthony frowned, "Your present is _not_ still in the shop, it is in transition."

I raised an eyebrow, "What exactly is it?"

He tapped his nose ominously, "You'll find out at half past twelve."

I rolled my eyes, "It's not a stripper then."

"I heard that!" My wife yelled form the kitchen. I winced and Anthony smiled triumphantly, before turning and walking smack into the wall.

I shook my head and glided past him into the kitchen.

"The doors there Ant." I called over my shoulder and I ignored the mental curse he aimed at me.

We all sat around eating a more brunch tan breakfast and were still chatting at the table when Renesmee and Chris joined us at a quarter past twelve.

My daughter looked really quite ill, she had dark rings under her eyes and was clutching Chris's arm in both of hers in an attempt to not fall over.

After all the times I had professed to hate Chris, I could not fault the way eh interacted with her when she was ill. It was like magnets, he moved, she moved.

He pulled her chair out and sat her gently in it before handing her a cup of tea and wrapped his arm over her shoulders so she could lean into his side.

"Not been working you to hard has he Ness?" Anthony laughed when Bella and Aimee glared at him to be silent.

There was a knock at the door and I stood, knowing it was probably for me, after all, I got the most post, _and _it was my birthday.

I opened the door to see a young man from UPS looking over the front of the house. I smiled as he let out a low whistle as his eyes danced over our cars, before turning to look at me almost in embarrassment.

"Mr Edward Cullen?" He asked, walking towards me.

I nodded and signed for the envelope, before watching him as he drove back down the drive in his van, shrouded in a cloud of dirt.

I tore open the envelope but froze when I saw the writing on the front of the letter. My heart when heavy in my chest, and I felt parts of my soul visibly turn to stone.

"What's taking you so long?" Bella laughed and kissed between my shoulder blades, her arms snaking around my waist from behind.

I swallowed and my fingers ran over the script on the white letter.

"To see the world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower. To hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour." I muttered.

I could almost _hear_ my wife frown.

"What?" She asked.

I swallowed and shook my head, "Just some book club asking for my allegiance." I laughed ad tucked the letter in my back pocket. She laughed and wrapped her arms around my waist, steering me to walk back towards the house.

"Come on, Ness and Ant want you to open presents." She laughed and skipped back into the kitchen. I watched her go, letting out a sigh and turning to shut the front door again. My eyes burned from the name that had been sighed at the bottom of the letter, and although the name was familiar, it was one that I had not spoken in a long time.

_Zara_


	54. Library Visit

Edward POV

My fingers drummed on the table while my son paid for the abnormally large box that was being set up in the living room. Annoyingly enough, my wife had been told to shield all of the workers and my son and daughter in law, so I had no idea _what_ it was that was being placed beside my large TV.

I felt the weight of the letter in my back pocket and shifted, eyes on the clock as it continued to tick around, closer to where it would stop, and I would have to be at the library in the proposed section.

As a mind reading vampire I very rarely was left to do the bidding of other people, un less it was my wife, then as it always was, it was a case of, 'your wish is my command.'

"Okay, come on dad, its ready!" Ant called from the lounge.

I repressed a groan and followed my wife into the lounge, my eyes narrowing at what I saw in the centre of the room.

It was a fish tank.

I raised an eyebrow, "Wow."

Ant's face fell, "I know what you're going to ask dad and..."

"How much did it cost?" I asked and Bella sighed, rubbing my arm with the hand that wasn't holding my own.

Ant shifted uncomfortably, "Close to six hundred dollars."

At this point I thought that my eyes were going to fall out of my head, I looked my son over, to see my daughter and an ashen Ness as well as Ellie looking slightly triumphant, as if they had _said_ that this would be my initial reaction.

"Six hundred dollars, on a box of water?" I asked.

Aimee and Ness went to get dressed and Ellie left the room to do something I was no longer interested in. What I wanted to know was why exactly my son and Chris had thought that I would possibly_ want_ what it was they had bought.

I ran my hand over the waist of space, knowing that I had little of an hour left to leave the house in time to meet my meeting with Zara.

"Dad you could at least pretend to be happy." Ant muttered and Chris excused himself as we all heard Renesmee groan and vomit upstairs.

I knew it was wrong, but I suddenly found myself praying that she wasn't pregnant.

"You spent six hundred dollars on a box of water, how is that supposed to make me feel?" I demanded.

"Err I don't know, _happy _maybe?" Ant cried and I growled at him, telling him silently to stop acting like a child. Under the circumstances that may have seemed really hypocritical, because I was acting like a child to get out of the house, to make my secret deadline.

"Dad look at it this was okay, how would you feel if Chris bought you a lavish gift?" He demanded.

I raised one eyebrow, "I'd wonder why you didn't get me something."

He sighed, "In all seriousness dad, look at it this way, you did better than your father, you would want to show him how well you've done wouldn't you?"

Whether he was speaking about Edward Masen Senior, or Aro, I was unsure, but regardless as to his subject, my answer would have been the same.

"I had no competition when it came to my father." I snarled and stormed form ten house, climbing into my car and screaming down the streets of Forks. I seemed to get out of the car before it had even stopped moving.

I walked through the double doors into the library, taking a deep breath in as they swung shut behind me. The over whelming stench of dust and packing dirt hit me, along with some other humans insignificant blood flow under transparently thin skin.

But over all that, there was the smell of too much perfume, and ten secret scent of triumph. I swallowed, and walked forward to where I knew the scent would be strongest.

I found her flicking through a book idly, her back to me and one tight red dress over her skin and hair in exactly the same place as the first time we met.

She smiled to herself and threw the book at me over her shoulder. Caught it in one hand, and fought the urge to snort upon reading the title.

"The complete works of William Blake." I mused and she turned to look at me, folding her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't think you'd solve my riddle that easily, I am quite impressed." She stated.

I smiled wryly but it faded as my face hardened.

"I don't have one ounce of me left that doesn't want you and your sister dead." I snarled and took a step towards her. She swallowed and then realised just how thin the ice was she was standing on.

I continued to advance, until she could back no further, her spine moulding into the shelves of books as I towered over her.

"I am giving you the chance now, to tell me where my son is." I snarled.

She swallowed, "I don't know."

My lips curled back over my teeth and my hand smacked down beside her head on the books, catching the edge of her temple, causing her to cry out quietly.

Due to the nature of the time of day, at just gone lunchtime, the library was deserted, even of the people who worked there. There was no reason for them not to leave the place unguarded, what was there for youths to steal in a library?

"We'll try this my way now shall we?" I snarled and she whimpered.

I swallowed like I had battery acid in my throat, "_Where_ is my son?"

Zara shook her head, "I am not going to tell you."

I was about to smack her into co-operation when the door slammed open and a group of hormonal teenagers fell in laughing. I felt a whoosh under my arms and I growled when I saw that Zara was no longer between them. I smacked the shelf and watched as part of the metal bent under my hand.

My hands raked through my hair and I frowned when I saw one of the books fallen on the floor.

I crouched and picked it up in my hands straightening up to flick it open at the page it had been bent at.

I read quietly to myself, "And until we meet again, may god hold you in the palm of His hand."

The book was all but thrown back onto the shelf as I went to storm out to my car. I growled and started t drive home.

I was still no closer to finding my son, and had been lead down a blind alley and seen all my hope crushed when my son was not back in my arms.

I swallowed, what a way to spend my birthday.


	55. Birthday blues

Chris POV

I and Renesmee had bailed out from the family dinner about ten minutes before we were due to leave. The problem was that she was genuinely wasn't well enough to leave the house, she was shivering but was hot to touch. It hadn't been a very difficult decision for me to make when I phoned Carlisle to come and take a look at her.

I mean she was a half vampire for crying out loud; surely she shouldn't be that sick.

My arms were folded over my chest, occasionally moving so I could chew my nails while he looked her over where she was laying with her hands by her head in our bed. Her hair was around her face in an almost fan, making her look like fallen angel.

Carlisle pressed his fingers to her temple and smiled when she shivered.

I frowned, surely that was a bad thing right? But I twisted Carlisle, and he didn't seem worried by what he was seeing, after all, I was more than confident that I was over reacting, if evidently had been spending to much time around Edward.

Carlisle lowered the covers down to expose the tops of her hips which were covered in my sweat pants, which she had taken to sleeping in whenever she felt poorly. He pressed his fingers down on her lower stomach and I froze, she couldn't be pregnant could she?

"Is she..." I started to ask when Carlisle started speaking.

"She's not pregnant Chris, she's just bloated, she's just caught a small strain of flu, nothing serious, not like the Spanish influenza." He told me and chuckled at the end as if he were thinking over some private joke.

I frowned, "So..."

"So with rest and recuperation she'll be fine. It's just like a cold; she'll sleep it off in a couple of days."

I nodded, "Does she need to take anything?"

He shook his head, "She may just sick it back up, but I'd like to congratulate you, you've taken better care of her than she might have even got in hospital."

"What?" I asked, slightly confused.

"I've only seen one person spend a lot of their time caring for one woman the way you do." He breathed and packed the stuff up in his bag.

"Who?" I asked.

"Edward." He said and I gasped quietly, although I knew deep down that I wasn't really surprised. Edward would do anything for his wife or any of his children.

"I'll be back later." Carlisle said and touched my shoulder before walking back downstairs.

"Thank you." I called after him quietly as I sat down on the bed facing her, but I knew he still heard.

I bent forwards to kiss Renesmee's clammy forehead gently.

"Chris?" She mumbled and I smiled, resting my forehead against hers.

"I'm here baby." I whispered.

She swallowed and cracked her eyes open to look at me tiredly.

"What time is it?" She croaked.

"Um..."I glanced at the clock and then back down at her, "Its half past ten, they should be back soon, go back to sleep, your granddad said you had to try and sleep it off."

She smiled with her eyes shut, "Bet dad thought I was pregnant when I kept being sick."

I stroked her cheek," If I'm honest the thought had crossed my mind as well."

She swallowed and opened her eyes to look at me sadly, "You know it's next to impossible right, because I'm no longer aging." She mumbled.

I smiled, "I know, and it's okay baby." I breathed sadly when she looked like she was going to cry.

She rubbed her face on my shoulder where I was holding her in a tight hug.

"But you'd be a great dad." She sobbed.

I rubbed her back, "You'd also be a great mum, but you know what?" I asked.

She shook her head, "What?" She mumbled.

"It doesn't make me love you any less." I breathed into her hair, "And I will _never_ be more proud of you then when I see you walking down that aisle towards me, looking more like an angel than anyone ever ahs right to."

She sniffed, "I love you."

I smiled and lay her back down gently as she drifted off to sleep.

"I love you to." I whispered and kissed her temple as the front door slammed and I heard Edward and Bella talking in hushed tones in the lounge.

I stood and shut the bedroom door gently behind me as I walked downstairs to see everyone sat around, watching Edward where he was pacing behind the fish tank.

"What happened?" I asked.

Bella rolled her eyes at me, "Ben and Ellie ended up sitting on the table next to ours."

I looked at Edward as he tensed and Anthony shuddered where he was sat with his arm over aimee's shoulders.

"They were grooming one another like spider monkeys." He muttered and I tried not to laugh.

Edward flexed his fingers and I turned back to Bella for further answers.

"What else happened?" I asked, knowing there was more to the story than Edward wanting to be further away from his daughter and her boyfriend.

"He isn't her boyfriend." He growled and continued to pace.

Bella sighed and put her bag on the floor and shrugged out of her coat.

"Well I'm sorry for not wanting to make a scene in front of our daughter." She muttered.

Edward scoffed, "Like she'd have noticed, ten way he was shovelling pasta in her mouth you'd have thought she had lost her arms instead of her mine, oh _what_ is she doing with him?" he demanded and sunk to sit in his arm chair with his hands over his eyes.

"But I thought Ellie was going to dinner with you..." I started but Anthony shook his head that this subject area was a no go, and that he would fill me in on it later.

Edward growled and Bella rolled her eyes, "Come on lover boy time for bed, we have to go to the hospital tomorrow remember." She said and pulled on his arm for him to stand up. He groaned but obliged, doing it with overdone moments, but he obliged regardless.

"Why are you going to the hospital?" Aimee asked as we all stood to make our way back upstairs.

"It's a routine check up that every senior has to have, you'll have ours at the start of college probably, because of when you were born." mum said gently.

We all hugged and went to say goodnight when Edward threw Bella over his shoulder and they ran upstairs to their room laughing.

Anthony sighed, "Obviously he's in a better mood now, night Chris." He said and he and Aimee disappeared into their room.

I was about to open my bedroom door when Renesmee rushed out and charged into the bathroom, being sick violently in the toilet.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly, evidently I was in for as long a night as she was.


	56. Fire and Ice

Bella POV

The more I thought about it, it seemed the _less_ I was able to justify just why exactly I was sat in my car staring at the house I had only thought about visiting. Edward had been by himself, and had got himself ill in the process, but I needed to be here, I wanted to be here.

Because I wanted my son back.

Zara and her sister had him; I was not naive enough to believe that he was answer the door when I knocked, but I knew that they had been back here, because their bin was in the drive waiting to be emptied.

I swallowed and climbed out of the car, waning nothing more than to phone Edward to tell him to accompany me. But I knew that if he was capable of meeting with Zara in secret, it would be hypocritical of him to view my meeting with Jay any differently.

I knocked on the door and waited, wondering whether I was about to b ambushed at any moment, I also knew that I only had around ten minutes before Edward realised that I had skipped school to do this, and that he would follow me, and kick off about it when he arrived.

Jay pulled open the door, and she was exactly as I remembered her being even though I had only I had only said three words to her in the past.

Her hair was scraped back off her face and she seemed far more normal than Zara did. Even though I knew that Zara was the younger sister she seemed more stubborn and righteous over her powers than Jay seemed to be.

"Come in Bella." Jay smiled and took a step to the side t allow me in.

I smiled and walked through into the living room, maybe it was the mother in me, but I suddenly had a strong urge to ask Jay where she had bought her cushions.

Jay gestured for me to sit and I obliged, sitting facing her on the sofa.

"I guess you want to know exactly why Zara took your son, where he is and if I'm going to help you get him back?" She asked.

I nodded, wondering what else I would possibly want to know from her.

Jay sighed, "Bella I have no idea where your son is, Zara comes and goes, she's like the wind, she comes back once every few days, changed her clothes, charges her phone then leaves again. I have no _idea_ where she is keeping him."

I swallowed, "Jay it's not right, what she's doing, he's just a boy."

Granted he might not exactly look like that by now, it was another thing I was unsure about when it came to the whole very precarious situation with son and biological father in law.

Jay sighed, "If I hear _anything_ I will let you know..." She trailed off just as the back door slammed and we both froze.

Why exactly I froze I was unsure, I was a half vampire for Christ sake.

"Jay?" Zara's voice filled the house and I stood, more than ready to throw myself at her and demand to know where my son was, whatever it took.

Zara swept into the room, stopping and taking a double take when she saw me and her sister stood side by side. I heard Jay swallow out of nervousness, and I felt my eyes turn black and venom drip from my half breed teeth as Zara laughed.

"Oh I get it, the mother lions come to find her cub has she... how _quaint_." She said and laughed.

I snarled, "I know you met with Edward yesterday, Zara I _want_ my son back."

She rolled her eyes, not seeming to understand just how pissed I was.

"Edward asked the same thing and I will tell you the same thing I told him." She said and took a step closer to me, her hands folding over her chest, fingers drumming on the tops of her arms.

"I have no _intention_ of giving you your son back. You see... the longer you remain distracted by trying to find him the closer the other vampires will be to killing all of you, then this land can be restored back to our family, and we won't have to live in fear form creatures like you." She breathed.

I gasped, "So that's it?" I shook my head in disbelief.

"It has nothing to do Charlie at all; you just want the vampires out of the way." I put my head in my hands, raking them through my hair.

I though Zara was going to snort, "What did you _think_ I wanted, a _medal_?"

There was something in her tone that was almost taunting.

My head snapped up and I growled.

"If you don't want any personal glory why don't you just give us Charlie back, then we can leave and you can _have_ your witch land, whatever you want... why go to all this trouble?" I demanded.

She took another step towards me and laughed.

"Because it's _fun_." She said and trailed off, looking at me with sparkling eyes.

"Just like this is." She said and before I could do anything, it felt like my head was being crushed through machinery.

I let out a scream and tried to push her hands away where they were hovering just in front of my forehead. I begged her to stop and tears fell down my face as I sunk to the floor, rocking on my side where I was laying on the carpet.

My clamped my eyes shut and just about managed to hear Jay whisper an '_I'm sorry_' over the roar taking place inside my skull.

Zara sighed and dropped her hands, the pain let so quickly I nearly passed out, and I remained crying, alone and frightened on my side.

Zara nudged me wither her foot and I suddenly found that I felt like I had been hit with a car, I couldn't move and I felt ready to accept death.

I swallowed and sniffed, looking to Jay for help, who seemed to be regrettably avoiding my gaze.

They both pulled on their jackets and Zara couched down, taking my phone from my pocket and standing back up, putting it to her ear and waiting impatiently.

"Hello?" I heard Edwards voice down the line.

"_Don't_ try and find your son again, your wife's still in one piece, I was feeling merciful today..." She said and smiled wryly as Edward growled.

"Zara what did you do to her?" He growled and I could hear the engine of the Volvo in the background.

Zara sighed, "Just come and collect you baggage, take it as a warning, next time I won't play as nice." She said and hung up, throwing my phone beside me and crouching back down.

"Go to the car Jay." She muttered and Jay nodded, mouthing an apology at me before shutting the door behind her.

Zara sighed and patted my shoulder as if she was comforting me, ironically it was rather soothing, but only because I was imagining her as Edward, who I now hoped was on his way.

"I _really_ hope Edward gets here in time." She said and nodded, letting out a deep breath before standing.

I looked at her in confusion, still unable to move from my spot.

She flexed and cracked her fingers, muttering things as she began to run her fingers over the dust collecting on many of the objects in the house.

"Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. But from what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favour fire." She mused.

"yet If I had to perish twice..." A voice snarled form the opposite side of the room.

I gasped a painful sigh of relief, having the almost feeling of suffocation like someone was standing on my chest.

"I think I know enough of hate, to say that for destruction, Ice is also great and would suffice." Edward finished.

Zara smiled sickeningly, "_Personally_ I favour fire." She said and let out a laugh, before flecking her dirty fingers towards me.

I had no idea what was happening, until smoke filled my vision, and I began to hyperventilate, my lungs growing heavy, and my skin flaking with the flames.

I let out a scream and the last thing I heard before everything went black and I was consumed by the fire, was Zara's ghostly chuckled.


	57. Posative

Renesmee POV

Mum was in a supremely average shape. She had to be admitted to hospital straight away with second degree burns. She seemed to be healing quiet quickly, but she was an emotional wreck. She would very close to hyperventilate the very second dad left her sight. This meant that he was in desperate need of a hunt.

Ant and I would bring him blood daily in a coffee flask to keep up pretences, but he was getting close to cationic, he needed to run around and hunt some mountain lion desperately, but I knew as everyone else did that he wasn't going to leave mums side until she was back to one hundred percent health.

His worried would have been grounded by themselves had the fire also not destroyed any evidence that could have been used to find out where the sisters were. On the bright side, of which there next to want one, at least we now knew _why_ Zara was doing what she was.

At least we knew that she wasn't going to kill Charlie, and that we had until the time the Volturi came to kill us all to get him back.

Of course, as the a part of her plan that worked, we still had no allies apart from Heidi, and even then it seemed next to impossible that she would help us.

Fortunately mum had been released from hospital yesterday, and was up and about like shed just had a cold. Dad of course followed her with either his body or his eyes regardless of what she was doing. He nearly through a fit because she chopped up a carrot with a knife that he branded as being, too large to be safe.

So it came about that we were sat at the dinner table decorating cup cakes. It was just us girls, as dad and the boys were in the lounge watching a game. I sighed and licked the edge of the cupcake, gathering a lot of stray frosting in my mouth,

Mum sighed and set her finished cupcake on top of the stand.

"At the rate you are all eating them there won't be any to take to Carlisle and Esme's tonight." She commented.

I, my sister and Aimee all rolled our eyes.

"You've had four mum so be quiet." Ellie said and Aimee laughed.

"I'd like to point out that I have only eaten one." She said.

I giggled, "Yeh right mum, your just stashing them to take upstairs to the bedroom."

She rolled her eyes, "Say what you want, but food in the bedroom can never be praised enough."

Aimee blushed and mine and Ellies head snapped around and mums jaw fell open.

"No _way_." I gasped and started to laugh hysterically.

Aimee just shrugged, "You're just jealous because tour dad won't let you take Boneo into the bedroom." She said and started to ice another cake.

"What?" I frowned.

Ellie giggled, "_Boneo_ is a _dog_ food."

My eyebrows went high, "okay you are seriously spending too much time with dad." I said and she laughed.

"But seriously, if anyone's spending too much time with dad it is in fact mum." Ellie said.

Mum rolled her eyes, "I don't know what you mean."

"Yeh mum, you should come out with us this week end, you'll have a great time, just us girls..." I started and everyone chorused a yes.

Mum sighed, "You _know_ he won't let me, I've only been out of hospital a few days, he won't even let me Hoover and tidy up, you _really_ expect him to allow me to go out boozing, nah, I won't even mention it." She said and stood up, picking up the stack of cup cakes and starting placing the cup cakes in a box, ready to take to Grandma and Granddads.

Aimee and Ellie started to wash up, while I decided to go and see the boys.

I walked in to see Chris sat on the sofa, Anthony draped over the arm chair, and dad sat glaring at the TV.

"Well this looks tense." I muttered and sat in Chris's lap.

Dads hands tensed and Chris rolled his eyes.

"The bears lost again, your dads lost just shot of three thousand dollars to your uncle Emmet." Chris said against my temple.

I sighed in disapproval, "mums not going to be happy."

Dad frowned, "_Mums_ not going to know."

"Mums not going to know what?" Mum asked as she walked in, followed by my sister and sister in law. Dad didn't say anything so she sighed and sat in his la, running her fingers through his hair and kissing his temple. He sighed and pulled her closer as Aimee and Ellie went and sat on either side of Anthony, Aimee appeared to be more on his _lap_ than the actual chair, but I thought nothing of it.

Mum ran her lips down dad's cheek and then leant her nose again his ear.

"What's the matter?" She whispered.

Dad sighed and stood up, turning off the TV and standing in front of us.

"I have something I need to ask you all, well not all of you, just the girls." He said.

Everyone nodded and mum looked either really confused, to she was pretending _not_ to know what he was doing.

"Go on dad?" I pressed and he swallowed, reaching into his back pocket and producing a pregnancy test.

"What is that?" Ellie asked.

Dad let out a stuttering breath, "I found it in the trash this morning."

"What does it say?" Chris asked.

Dad swallowed, "its positive."

Mine, Ellie and Aimee's eyebrows went up, and mum froze, before bolting from the room.


	58. Dark Horizon

**YAY! CHECK OUT THE PREVIEWS, HOPES EVERYONES HAVING A GREAT HOLIDAY SO FAR, I KNOW I AM ;) XX**

Edward POV

Bella stormed form the room and I swallowed, my fears being confirmed by her posture, the fact she had run away, and the fact that everyone else in the rom seemed totally surprised mentally for what I had dead. In my two centuries experience, if any of my children _had_ been pregnant, they would have thought about it mentally when I exposed them.

There was of course, only one person who wouldn't have to prepare mentally before hand, because I wouldn't be able to hear her regardless.

"Bella!" I shouted and bolted up the stairs, half way between mad and exceptionally upset, I was playing the field with my emotions. I barged into our bedroom to see her sat on the bed with her head in her hands, she looked ready to cry, and I would have comforted her, had I not settled on being pissed instead of understanding.

"When were you planning on telling me?" I demanded, walking to stand in front of her.

She looked at her hands, "It's not mine." She whispered.

I scoffed, "the hell it isn't."

She looked up at me with angry and teary eyes.

"So what, you'd assume that the only person capable of being pregnant in this house is _me_, because I'm your little personal sex slave." She accused, standing up to scream in my face.

Had I not already been very pissed, I certainly would have been mad now.

"Don't you _dare_ talk to me like that, how can you even lie in my face about _our_ baby." I shouted.

She groaned in anger, smacking her head against her heel of her hands and pointing at me wildly as she screamed.

"I am _not_ pregnant!"

"Let me break it down for you Bella." I growled, "You've been caught out, okay there is no way that any of them girls down stairs are pregnant because none of them remember taking the test."

"And that just leaves me does it?" She demanded.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, "Well _yeh_!"

There was a moment's pause before Bella finally swallowed and nodded.

"Okay then, it's true." She whispered and looked at me tearily.

I sighed, "I _know_ that, what I _want_ to know is why you dint think you could tell me."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her face into my chest, me moving my hands to rub her back and stroke her hair in comfort.

She sniffed, "Because I didn't want you to worry."

I leant my head on top of hers and sighed.

"How can I _not_ worry about you Bella, with everything that's going on, especially seen as everything that's going on is my fault..." I mused but she shook her head.

"Don't say that." She whispered.

I sighed, "But it's true."

She rubbed my shoulder and kissed my bicep, and smiled slightly to herself, more out of hope than anything I thought.

"I take it I'm not going to be allowed back to school now, or join in baseball or anything." She breathed.

I sighed, "School is a no go, but baseball I will consider, as long as you rest and promise to behave." I said firmly and pulled back to give her my best reproving look.

She sighed and nodded, "Okay."

There was a pause as the dark mood neither of us wanted to acknowledge drifted inbetween us, and I counted a full two minutes before Bella mentioned it.

"I don't want to lose another baby Edward." She whispered and looked down, a single tears falling down her cheek. I brushed it away with my lips and she hugged me tight to her again.

I kissed her temple, "We'll try everything we can not to let that happen."

She swallowed, "Okay."

My lips skimmed over hers, and her hands then locked in my hair. It was heaven, but a dark cloud was on the horizon, if only I had seen it.

**Heya guys, so yes, as I promised at the start of this story, it's about to get very dark... and very very **_**separate**_**.. for two characters in particular. Xx**


	59. Seperate

Edward POV

We stood like that for ages, just holding one another, until at about half past two Ellie knocked on the door and opened it to lean against it, her arms folded and her eyebrows raised.

"I take it this means none of us are going to be given the Spanish inquisition hey dad?" She asked and Bella giggled.

I rolled my eyes, "no daughter of mine is being a teenage parent."

Ellie laughed, "Speak for yourself."

We made our way downstairs, Bella immediately being ambushed by the rest of the family who appeared to be gathered in the lounge.

Jasper patted my arm and Emmet whooped loudly. I grimaced at him hugging Bella before making my way over to Carlisle and Esme.

She hugged me and touched my cheek before going to see Bella. I sighed and stood next to Carlisle, watching my wife carefully as she moved around, ready to dive in front of her if she so much as flinched.

Carlisle touched my shoulder and I glanced at him half heartedly.

"She'll be okay." He whispered.

I shook my head and rubbed my forehead, "it's just that we have so much to deal with already, _Charlie_, the _Volturi_..." I sighed, "We can't raise a healthy baby in all of that I know we can't."

I muttered at the end.

Carlisle rubbed my shoulder and leant in closer, gesturing to quickly for anyone to see at my laughing wife.

"Look at her, she looks _happy_." He breathed and I nodded. For she did look happy, she looked radiant, her hair was pulled back off her face and her large topaz eyes made her look more like an angel that even some of the greatest paintings ever painted did.

I swallowed, "I cant watch her get hurt like that again..."

"then don't you _worry_ about her." He breathed and I looked at him like he had just started the most basically floored plan that anyone ever could.

He sighed and we turned back to look at her.

"She needs you to be strong for her, but that isn't always the same things was protecting her." He said.

I frowned, "What do you mean?"

Carlisle looked at me gently, patting my shoulder.

"You are both sides of the same coin, only by working with one another, on the same _plain_, are you going to achieve greatness." He said.

I frowned, "At the moment I don't want to achieve anything expect survey the next five months." I muttered and he sighed, grabbing his coat and handing me mine.

"What are you doing?" I asked but pulled my coat on regardless.

"Get Bella, I'm taking you to the hospital you need to see your baby." He stated and I nodded, pulling Bella into my side and wrapping her own coat around her.

She looked at me slightly gone out but I explained what was going on and she nodded, waving bye to everyone and joining me in the back of the Volvo while Carlisle drove.

We had just made it out onto the freeway, when a dark figure loomed out of the forest and onto the road in front of us.

Carlisle cursed and hit the brakes, throwing the car around into a rolling wreck. Bella screamed and I pulled her tight to me, pushing from the car and suddenly finding it to be pitch black and murky outside, as if all the light had gone from the world.

I couldn't see anything, and form the way Bella held onto me, I didn't think she could either.

"Stay close." I breathed and she sniffed.

"Edward I cant see." She sobbed.

Well that made two of us.

I knew that this wasn't real dark, that it was someone playing with my ability to be aware of what was going on around me. It was as if I was numb.

I froze, there was only one person I knew who could do that, and he never ever travelled alone.

Alec and Jane.

Just as that thought crossed my mind a crippling pain shot through my skull. I groaned and tried to power through it by turning away from the space in front of me where I was sure the thoughts and the pain were sourced from. I was also trying to block Bella and my baby form Jane and Alec.

Where was Carlisle, why wasn't he doing anything?

"Go, run..." I growled and tried to move my arms from around my wife, but someone beat me to it. She was ripped form my grip and I fell to the floor, smacking my head on something rock hard.

Cool hands clasped around my neck and tugged hard, the last thing I knew was the sound of Carlisle whispering that they had to run to my wife, and Bella's desperate sob of my name.

Carlisle's thoughts were the last things I heard that I wanted to.

_Hold on son, we'll get you back, we'll rescue you._

Rescue me from who?

When another smooth voice whispered menacingly in my ear, I had my answer.

"Well hello Edward, my you haven't changed a bit, mind you neither have I, that's the best thing about being immortal, _limitless_ patience." Aro paused, "Especially when I want something as much as I want you."

More hands pulled at my arms and legs, and I fell to pieces on the floor.


	60. A House isnt a home unless your there

Bella POV

I swallowed and shifted the shopping bags in my hand. I hadn't really wanted to leave the house today, or any of the days in the four and a half months since it happened.

No I hadn't wanted to even get out of bed, but I had been putting off buying baby clothes for long enough. I also had to wear Edwards shirts, because I hadn't bothered to even try on the maternity clothes Alice and Rosalie had bought for me.

I put the bags in the boot of the car and walked through the hospital, feeling the eyes of everyone following me, I could almost hear what they were thinking, as well as what they were whispering.

"Poor girl, I heard he ran away."

"No I thought he died, what was his name... Edwin?"

"Edward, I don't think he'd have taken off, perhaps he has died."

"Its understandable he wouldn't want to be tied down though, my daughter said she was pregnant last year but they lost he baby."

"Maybe he just got nervous, she seems a wreck."

"yeh, he's probably dead."

The tears were streaming by the time I arrived at Carlisle's office. I knocked and pushed open the door to see him sat behind his desk. He looked up at me with a small smile before it vanished and he was out of his seat coming to comfort me.

"Oh Bella." He breathed and pulled me into a hug, shutting the door and blinds without leaving his arm from around me as I cried into his chest.

"Is just so hard." I sobbed.

He rubbed my back, "He'd be incredibly proud of you, you know that." He breathed.

I shook my head, "I didn't even get to say goodbye." My voice was so quiet that I was unsure that even Carlisle as a vampire would be able to hear and understand it.

"I know Bella." He whispered and I swallowed, pulling back and gesturing for me to sit on the bed. He helped me up and I rolled up my shirt sleeve so he could take my blood pressure.

"How have you been sleeping and eating?" He asked.

I shrugged and he sighed, pulling the chair to sit facing me, looking up at me while I played with the hem of my shirt.

He touched my knee and I avoided his gaze, instead staring at my bulging stomach while he spoke.

"I know it's really hard okay Bella, but this baby needs you to be strong, to look after yourself." He said gently.

"I _can't_, Carlisle I don't know what to do anymore." I began to cry and put my head in my hands. He sighed and rubbed my shoulder, letting me get it all out.

I sniffed and wiped my eyes on the back of my hand, "I want to be able to look myself and this baby but..." I swallowed, "_everything_ reminds me of him, and every tie mi look in the mirror, I just hope and pray that he will be stood behind me... and he's just _not_."

Carlisle sighed and nodded, "I miss him to."

I swallowed, "Can we just... not talk about it please... I don't want to get worked up more than I have to."

He nodded and stood up, handing me a gown and telling me I could change in the adjoining bathroom his private consulting room had. I stood and went to change when Carlisle caught my arm.

A smile broke across his face, although his eyes looked as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"What is it?" I asked and spun to see the door open, and that was all I really saw, apart from the brilliant pair of topaz eyes that I couldn't look away from once they found mine.

I stood their frozen, not breathing. My stomach went tight and I gasped.

Edward took a measured step towards me and brought his hand up in front of him.

"easy love it's okay." He whispered and his hands reached to take mine away from my throat.

As soon as his skin touched mine and I was certain he was real, I flung myself into his arms, and began sobbing into his chest.

He stroked my hair and I could tell he was crying into my temple.

"I thought you were dead." I cried and he held me tighter.

"I thought you were as well." He murmured.

I pulled back to look into his face anxiously, "But Aro, the Volturi, they'll come after you, they'll come to kill us..."

He put his finger over my lips and hushed me.

"They think I'm dead. I told them that I saw you had taken your own life in the pensive... Aro believed me, and I planted a piece of ashes in my place, as long as we lay low for a while, they won't be coming to bother us anytime soon." He breathed.

I blinked and happy tears rolled down my face, it all seemed to good to be true, but I wouldn't think like that. Someone up there in heaven must be keeping watch on me and Edward, and I thought I knew that it must be my father and mother.

I smiled and hugged Edward against, who kissed me hard and I felt the baby kick in my stomach.

I gasped and my hand flew to my bump, a brilliant smile flying across my lips as I looked in wonder at Edward.

He looked at me anxiously, before I put his hand on my stomach.

"What..." he started to ask when he was silenced by his own smile.

I beamed, "I think they were waiting for their daddy. "I breathed and he beamed, picking me up and spinning me around, causing me to giggle with happiness.

I then remembered, "Edward put me down I need to tell you something."

He did as I asked, and he cupped my face in his hands as he spoke.

"Renesmee and Chris are getting married on Saturday." I told him and his face flickered with anger.

"What?" He snarled.

I couldn't really pin point his emotion, "Edward what's the matter?"

He growled, "Chris has alot of explaining to do."

I frowned, "What for?"

"I most certainly dint give my permission for him to get married to her without me being present, now I don't even have chance to throw him a bachelor party." He muttered and I smiled.

"Oh Edward." I sighed happily, and we hugged tightly again.

**Heya guys, so I decided that I liked the idea of there being a dark threat other than the Volturi, so the Cullen's are safe from them for now. Right now I just wanted to write some fluffy stuff, but the dark undercurrent will be making a head in a round two chapters, this will be coming from other things besides vampires, such as witches and werewolves. So please don't be disappointed if I focus on it just being a nice story for now, but for all you TEAM JACOB**__**people, please keep reading. REVIEW and CHECK OUT THE PREVIEW YOUTUBE VIDEO! xx**


	61. Nerves

Edward POV

My children were more than happy to have me back, Aimee still wasn't a vampire. But she looked younger than she was anyway, and she seemed to have been comforted in that fact, in the sense that she wasn't about to get a grey hair over night if she wasn't changed imminently.

Bella on the other hand, was the cause for all of my concerns. She was growing in stress at a steady pace as Saturday got closer and closer.

_I _was the one who was supposed to be a nervous wreck, my eldest baby girl was getting married and they hadn't even had the decency to inform me about it. Of course they had thought along with everyone else that I was dead, but to me that was just a detail.

I sighed where I was lying facing my wife in bed, she was on her side facing me, one hand on her stomach, the other under her head against the pillow. I ran my fingers through her hair repeatedly, that was, the hand that wasn't under my head attached to the arm that was propping me up on one elbow.

I had been humming her lullaby for little over ten minutes in an attempt to keep her asleep. It was too early in the morning for her to be out of bed. Pregnant women should not leave bed before half past seven, in my opinion it should be a federal law.

She started to stir and I sighed, rubbing her shoulder as she moaned and pulled herself closer to me.

"Go back to sleep." I said firmly, but I knew there was very little hope in my voice that she would listen to what I was saying to her.

I mentally hi fived myself when she shook her head at my comment.

"Can you go and make me some breakfast while I get in the shower please." She mumbled into my chest.

I frowned and kissed her hair, "_Bath_, not shower."

She moaned and I rubbed her back.

"You're being stupid." She sighed and sat up.

I rolled my eyes, "There's nothing wrong with me not wanting you to strain yourself."

She smiled gently, "I know."

I leant in to press my lips to hers when she gagged and shot out of the room, leaving me sitting in bed feeling rather turned on and with no one to satisfy my needs.

I sighed and dressed as quickly as I could, before walking downstairs to the satisfying sound of my wife lathering herself in soap whilst in the newly installed bath.

I walked into the kitchen to see Anthony and Aimee sat on the sofa kissing.

"Don't mind me." I called and flew through the room. I smelt aimee's cheeks heat up as the blood rushed to form a blush against her skin, and Anthony mentally yelled at me that they were being nothing short of religious compared to how me and his mother behaved.

I could hear Chris and Renesmee in the kitchen as I walked into my study to check the house phone for nay messages, as well as my face book, wondering how many hundred friend requests I would have this morning.

It seemed to be a constant battle for me and my wife and siblings, as well as children to see who could get the most friends in the time we lived in one place.

Obviously because we didn't age we had to start a new profile every time we moved, which meant that the tally of who had the most friends was constantly in flux.

I nearly always won, my only real competition being my wife. She annoyed me immensely, because it seemed to take her next to no time to get a thousand friends, but then almost the _entire_ time we were in the place to add _me_.

I heard Renesmee start talking again in the kitchen as I started walking towards the hall then towards the kitchen.

"Chris why don't you just ask him?" She sighed in frustration.

Chris almost audibly rolled his eyes, "He's your father why don't you just as him?"

"Chris..."

I rounded the corner then and they both looked at me with the same mix of awkward surprise and embarrassment.

"Ask me what?" I asked and went to make Bella the same breakfast she seemed to want every day. Coco pops, which I had been amazed they still _made_, as well as peanut butter and jelly on toast followed by pineapple. I shuddered and began to put the food in the appropriate bowls, while hairs raised his eyebrows at Renesmee when she seemed to be waiting for something.

"Well?" I pressed and stood opposite them where they were sat at the breakfast bar, a couple of magazines and two cups of coffee in between them on the counter top.

Renesmee sighed, "Can mum come with me and Aimee to the club this evening to see this band play...?"

"No." I said before she'd even finished speaking.

Chris nodded his head, "Told you so." He said and left.

My daughter sighed and shook her head at me as I poured Bella a glass of juice.

"What?" I asked, "Isn't that exactly what you expected me to say?"

She sighed, "Alright alright, whatever, can I come with you and mum to the ultra sound today?"

I nodded and glanced at the clock, "If you hurry up, we'll be leaving as soon as she's eaten. Get Ellie and Aimee if they want to come as well."

Ness shook her head, "Aimee can't because she and Anthony are going out, and Ellie is still in bed."

I frowned and Ness laughed, touching my cheek gently before flitting from the room.

"She's in her _own_ bed on her _own_." She laughed.

I frowned and shouted after her, "I knew that!"

Bella walked in and sat down facing me, she looked like she'd been crying.

"What's the matter?" I demanded anxiously and she rolled her eyes.

"I got shampoo in my eyes, it's okay now." She said and tucked into her breakfast.

I tried not to let my over protective side take over as she finished eating. She then waited while I put the stuff in the dish washer and helped her put err coat on. She allowed my little traits like this, but I knew it annoyed her more than most things I did.

Ness met us in the car, and I drove at my usual speed to the hospital.

My daughter leant around the seat to look at the letter her mother was holding.

"Why doesn't it say ultra sound on there?" She asked.

Bella sighed and folded her arms, "Because I'm not having an ultra sound, I'm having a cervix probe analysis and pelvic exam." She said and glanced at me.

I smiled in encouragement and took her hand in mine over the gear stick.

Ness frowned, "What's that?"

Bella swallowed, obviously nervous about having it, to avoid any unnecessary stress, i stepped in.

"You'll see in a minute." I said as we pulled into the Forks general parking lot.


	62. Appointment

Edward POV

Bella was quiet as we waited in one of the examination rooms after Bella had changed into her robe and covered her lower half in a white sheet. She lay on the bed with her hand on her stomach, the other by her head tight in mine. She swallowed and looked at me anxiously.

"You have to squeeze my hand, as soon as Carlisle can see him or her okay?" She whispered and tears formed in her eyes.

I sighed, knowing how nervous she was that something would be wrong and we would lose anther baby. I would be lying if I were to say that I was not petrified about it as well.

I leant closer to her and touched my forehead to hers, whispering over her face in an attempt to calm her down.

"I promise, but you have to try and clam down okay love." I breathed and she swallowed but nodded in acceptance anyway. Carlisle entered then and stood o the opposite side of the bed to me and lifted Bella gown up gently, her lower half still covered in the sheet, as Renesmee sat down in the chair beside me.

"How have you been feeling Bella?" He asked. I looked at my wife carefully as she answered. She was now nearing her fifth month of pregnancy, and I knew from experience that this was when she tended to start getting back ache and feeling like the baby was in an awkward position in her stomach. In a sense, this was the time my worries tended to escalate.

Bella shook her head, "I feel alright actually, I just can't seem to sleep at night."

Carlisle nodded and moved from feeling her stomach to sit facing her on the bed. He pulled over the trolley and screen and hooked up the long probe that could shortly be inserted into Bella's cervix.

He told Bella to bend her knees upright so he could slide it in.

Bella did as she was told and gripped my hand hard as the probe travelled up through her body in search of our baby.

Carlisle flicked through screens and wrote something's down on Bella's file and then flicked one last button, just as the baby's heart beat filled the room.

Bella and Renesmee immediately burst out crying and I just beamed and kissed my wife's temple.

She sniffed and smiled at me, "You said you'd squeeze my hand when Carlisle could see him."

I looked almost guilty, "I was too busy thinking about you."

Bella laughed and Carlisle performed a quick pelvic exam before removing the probe and leaving with Renesmee while I helped Bella change.

I sat on the bed next to her looking at the probe photos of our baby was Bella pulled on her cardigan and tied up her hair.

I ran my finger over the black and white image, "I can't believe I'm going to be a dad again."

She smile and wrapped her arms aorudn my shoulders and kissed my cheek.  
"Edward." She whispered and leant her forehead against my temple.

"Um.." I responded, looking at her anxiously.

She bit her lip, "I want to have your baby at home, again, but with only you there this time, because you missed Charlie's." She swallowed and looked away.

I pulled her into a hug while she cried gently into my chest, before taking the picture form my lap and looking at it softly, but still I didn't move my arms form around her.

"Do you think he'll come back, when Zara realises that the Volturi aren't coming to kill us." She mumbled.

I sighed and stroked her back, "I don't know. But I hope so."

Bella swallowed, "Can we go home now?"

I nodded and stood up, turning to look at her with a small smile as she held her arms open and stood to hug me tight around my waist.

I kissed her hair and reached between us to rub her stomach with one hand, her back with my other.

"You really want me to deliver him or her?" I asked, wanting to be totally sure that this was what she wanted.

Bella nodded her head, "You're the only person besides Carlisle I would want to do it."

I nodded and kissed her gently, before leading her through the halls back into the car park. I held her door open for her and she climbed in, leaving her head against the window and breathing deeply. I frowned as I climbed in beside her but smiled when I realised she was asleep.

My hands travelled down her cheek, over her shoulder, down her arm to rest over her own hand on her stomach. I ran my thumb over the arch of it gently and smiled to myself.

Renesmee climbed in the back of the car quietly and smiled at me.

"You okay dad?" She asked and hugged me around the seat and my shoulders.

I nodded and kissed her wrist where it was locked under my chin.

"I just can't believe my little girl is getting married on Saturday." I chuckled and she groaned.

"At least you get to give me away, enjoy that at least." She said.

I laughed, "I'm very much looking forward to it." I said as we pulled out of the car lot, not in time for me to see the dark figure climb into the car that had been parked behind us, jean shorts torn and chest bare. His camera tight in his hand, and a sly smile across his face.


	63. Mother and Daughter

**Edward POV**

I hammered on the bathroom door impatiently, my wife had been in there for over an hour in the bath, I was slightly concerned that she may have fallen asleep. I clicked the door open, breaking the lock in the process, not that it mattered, and I could easily get someone to repair it for me. Or I could just do it myself, but I knew deep down that the chances of that were slim.

I shut the door behind me and smiled, crouching down by the bath side and reaching to rub her stomach. Bella moaned and tried to push my hands away when I kissed her forehead.

"Edward?" She whispered.

I smiled and lifted her out of the bath, soaking myself in the process. I held her in one arm and then wrapped the towel around her, being careful not to squash her queasy stomach. I sighed; she had morning sickness really bad, and when she was asleep I could sometimes hear her stomach churning.

I gently lay Bella on our bed and dried her off thoroughly, before slipping her into one of my t-shirts on her underwear; I then lay her back in bed and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, my wife." I whispered and stroked her cheek.

She stirred but remained asleep and I smiled, sitting down facing her and running my hands repeatedly through her hair.

There was a knock on the door and I looked over my shoulder, murmuring that my mother could come in. Esme smiled and shut the door behind her, before coming and standing behind me and putting her hands on my shoulders.

"Changing of the guard." She laughed and I rolled my eyes.

She rubbed my shoulder, "She'll be fine Edward, go and have fun."

I swallowed and nodded, kissing my wife's temple and then her stomach, before standing up and pulling my coat on.  
"Can you please get her to phone me when she wakes up, just so I know she's okay, and if she looks like she's going to sleep the whole night through, can you let me know...?" I started to rant when Esme touched my cheek to calm me.

"She'll be _fine_." She repeated and I let out a breath before smiling and hugging her, and leaving. I walked down stairs only to be met by my son and almost son in law wearing varsity jackets and Nike high tops. I sighed and shoved my phone in my pocket.

Chris looked at me slightly anxiously, "You okay Edward?"

I shook my head, "I just don't want to leave her."

Anthony frowned, "I worked very hard to get you to at least _pretend_ to want to play in front of mum, you need to carry it through now."

I sighed, not wanting to play baseball but knowing I had to, "I know, I know."

**Bella POV **

I cracked my eyes open to see Esme sat on the end of the bed on the phone. I rubbed my stomach and yawned, only then remembering that Edward was out playing baseball with the rest of the family, and that Edward had volunteered to sit and watch me.

"Is that Edward?" I croaked and Esme's head snapped around. She nodded and smiled, speaking down the phone to my husband.

"Yes wait just a minute she's just woken up." She said.

"She wants to talk to you." She finished and handed me the phone which I immediately put to my ear, feeling nothing short of desperate to hear his voice.

"Hello, Bella, how are you feeling?" He started off calmly but then went off on some random anxious tangent.

I sighed, "Edward I'm _fine_."

"I know... you know how I worry though." He laughed and I giggled.

"When are you coming home?" I asked quietly, curling into a tighter ball and whispering down the receiver.

I heard Edward sigh.

"We shouldn't be too long now, maybe about another hour; do I need to come home?" He asked.

I shook my head, "I'm fine."

Edward sighed again. "Go back to sleep, I love you."

I smiled, "I love you to, so does your baby."

I could almost feel Edward smile, "I love them to."

The dial tone rang in my ear after a few minutes of goodbyes, causing me to sigh and hand the phone back to Esme. She smiled and sat down facing me, watching as I traced a lazy pattern on my swollen stomach.

I sighed and glanced up at her and then back down again.

"Do you think he'll ever forgive me Esme?" I whispered.

Esme frowned, "What do you mean dear?"

I swallowed, "About lying to him about me letting Jacob live, do you think he'll ever trust me again."

My mother in law sighed, "I think that he trusts you completely Bella, just as you do him. I don't really know what to say, no one really knows what goes on in that boys mine, he's got a more complex personality than anyone gives him credit for."

I swallowed, "I hurt him so much."

She hushed me, "The love you feel for one another over rides that, you trust and respect one another completely, no matter what you might say in the heat of an argument."

She put her hand gently over mine on my stomach.

"This baby here and _all_ of your children are extremely lucky to have you and Edward as their parents. You two are loving, moral, and _decent_ people, and I stand by what I said when you first played baseball with us." She smiled at me.

"You are what Edward wants, you always _have_ been, and you always will be." She breathed, "It will work out somehow, this thing with Aro, it will all turn alright in the end." She whispered and smiled at me lovingly.

I swallowed, frightened tears in my eyes, "I don't believe him Esme, when he says Aro believes he's dead. I think he's just trying to make me feel better, to feel safe." I started to rave but she hushed me, so

"But it's always at the back of my mind Esme, every time he leaves, that I'm not going to see him again." I breathed and she smiled gently, stroking my cheek gently as I swallowed and sunk back into the pillows.

"Don't you even think on it Bella, don't you think about it for one minute." She whispered.

I looked at her with a mixture of sadness and tiredness.

"I can't lose him Esme, I _can't_." I whispered.

She put her hand over mine on my stomach.

"You won't have to, Alice will se whatever Aro decides, and we will be ready whatever the circumstances." She told me softly.

I nodded, "We need to find Charlie."

Esme sighed, "You don't need to fret over that either. Edward and Emmet and Jasper as well as everyone else are working around that clock to track Zara and Jay, hopefully he will be home by the time you're the latest edition turn up." She smiled.

I frowned, "So I'm just supposed to sit around and let everyone else look for him."

Esme smiled, "This is _Edward_ we are talking about, do you expect him to let you do anything _else_?"

**Heya guys sorry that I haven't updated in a while and that there haven't been any chapter previews, hopefully the next couple of chapters will be beeper the wedding I **_**think**_**, but because of computer problems, I have had to type this chapter again which is what took so long.**

**Happy Easter everyone, Catherine xx**


	64. I learned from the best

**Heya guys, just a note to say that if anyone wants to make some mock wedding photos for Chris and Renesmee's wedding using whatever I will link them and give you all the credit, I **_**would**_** do it, but one I am too lazy and two I have no idea how so...**

**It would help me out a lot and I would give you a shout out. **

**Catherine xx**

Bella POV

I trudged down the stairs with my hands on the base of my spine. I knew Edward had spent the night in his office with one ear on my to make sure I was okay, because when I woke up and groaned, he was in our bedroom before I even had time to open my lips to shout for him.

Edward was spending every spare minute he had trying to find Charlie, which accompanied with preparing for our daughter's wedding and his general worrying about me, meant he had next to no time to do trivial things like finish his school work and tutor me.

The school had agreed with Carlisle's persuasion to let Edward bring homework home for me to do at home, which he would then take in the next day after I had completed it.

It was to ensure that I did not drop on my studies because I was pregnant, after all, how many times was one person expected to graduate.

Looking at my basic attendance record this year, _my_ own chances of graduating for a seventy third time were looking less and less likely.

I sighed as I walked into the kitchen, when I realised that I was the only one at home. Esme would be arriving in less than five minutes, because Edward liked there to be basically no gap between who was supervising me.

I poured myself a glass of juice and sat down at the breakfast bar, pulling out my battered copy of Wuthering heights that was so faded the words were barely legible. However, thanks to my then full vampire and now half vampire brain, I knew nearly every page off the top of my head regardless.

I had been told on many occasions and also read that reading during pregnancy was meant to improve your baby's chances of being intelligent.

To me it seemed hardly feasible that _any_ of mine and Edwards children would be stupid, after all, Edward had the knowledge basis the size of a small country. He spoke at least thirteen languages fluently, and he could play several instruments.

I sighed and tuned the page just as Esme walked into the kitchen.

"Hello dear how are you?" She asked and hung her coat up on the door.

I smiled, "I'm alright thank you, I didn't sleep very well." I admitted almost sheepishly.

She smiled, "You missed him."

I frowned, "He was at your house?"

She nodded, "He was talking to Carlisle, I don't really know what about."  
I sighed, "He'll be expecting me to text him in a minute. I have to send him one hourly. So he knows I'm okay."

She laughed, "I'll make you some breakfast."

I smiled and stood, walking into the lounge and picking up my phone. To me it was quite frankly ridiculous that Edward would need me to text him this often, so much so that I only ever ended up texting him to words.

HOURLY TEXT xx

I put my phone down and flopped onto the sofa, resting my head in my palm, elbow bent on the sofa arm and traced patterns on my stomach with my other hand.

I smiled and rubbed it gently.

"I can't wait to meet you." I whispered and a soft thumping came against my hand.

I smiled, he or she definitely kicked less when Edward wasn't around. I didn't know whether it was the sound of his voice or whether they had some vampire power that made them aware of him from inside the womb.

My smile grew wider as I thought over the conversations we had had as a family regarding our child's power. Ellie was my only child who didn't appear to have one, but she seemed okay with it.

Edward had made several cutting remarks saying that what she didn't have in a supernatural power she certainly had in attitude.

It also reminded me of the times Emmet had tried to encourage our babies first words from _inside_ me, which had often taken place when I was asleep, leading to him then waking me up, leading to shouting from Edward, which then lead to swearing from Edward, which then lead to me shouting at Edward to be quiet, Emmet laughing, Edward hitting Emmet, me shouting _again_ at Edward, and then Edward apologising and telling me to rest.

Most of the time I then went back to sleep only to be woken up again and the whole thing tended to start over again.

Esme walked in carrying my breakfast and I smiled in thank you to her. She sat beside me and put a blanket over my legs, again I smiled at her, thinking just how easy it was to tell where Edward got his caring side form.

Of course with Edward he came to take it too far and swing to the brink of over protectiveness, a fact I had shared with him on more than one occasion, a fact I was sure Edward chose to ignore.

"So come on then, tell me what you're thinking, a boy or a girl?" Esme asked and gestured to my stomach as I stretched to put my bowl on the coffee table after I had finished.

She took it from me to stop me from getting up and I sighed, leaning back into the cushions and looking down at my bump.

"I'm thinking another girl, but I don't know. Part of me wants to know, to ask Carlisle... but we've always had it as a surprise, and I don't really want to find out and then wish I didn't know..." I trailed off and Esme laughed.

"What?" I asked, sure my cheeks were blushing their usual half human blush, stupid hormones and blood in system.

Esme smiled and wrapped her arm over my shoulder, pulling me into her side.

"Your just such a good mum." She said quietly.

I smiled, "I learnt form the two best women I know, my two mothers." I whispered.

She smiled thoughtfully, "It means a lot to me, that you have accepted me as our mum."

I laughed quietly, "mum mum used to say that mother in laws were the worst part of marriage, but then again... she hadn't met you."

Esme smiled, "Thank you Bella."

I smiled, "Your welcome Esme."

**Heya guys, please tell me in review or private message what you would like in the next chapters, which couples you would like to feature in it... what happens etc, maybe not the what happens exactly, but you get what I mean... just a reminder, if any of you are talented enough to make some Bella pregnant or Renesmee and chrism wedding photos, it would be much appreciated xx. **


	65. The fear behind your eyes

**Check out my new story, its an all human story, but m really enjoying writing it, and if you ahev read all of my sotires, the smae p word theme will be featured in it. (Pregnancy duh) ! ) **

Esme POV

The hours ticked by until Edward and the others were due to return home from school. It was still only lunch time, but even for a vampire it seemed as though the days where they had to attend school were long and tedious, even for me, who didn't attend Forks high or have to go to work, with regards to my husband.

I smiled to myself as I sat watching my youngest daughter where she was laying asleep on the sofa in the living room of their cottage. She let out a small sigh and pulled herself into a tighter ball, snuggling deeper into Edwards Hoodie that she had decided to wear a few hours ago when it had got cold.

I smiled slightly wider, thinking about how happy she made him. After living such a long time it seemed to me that the more you loved someone the more you worried about them.

It was immeasurable just how much Edward worried over Bella, if that was any representation of just how much he loved her.

I heard tires on the driveway and looked up to see Carlisle walking quietly into the house, he smiled at me and I returned the favour, standing up and hugging him tight.

"How are you?" He asked and kissed me gently.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, "I'm fine, just enjoying spending some time with our daughter, not that she was awake for most of it." I laughed and he did to as we turned to look at Bella.

I felt his hand run through the back of my caramel hair.

"Did Edward phone you?" He asked.

I nodded, "three times before lunch and twice in the past hour."

Carlisle laughed, "He phoned he five and paged me three times more."

We both sighed and I turned to look at him fully.

"He really worries too much; he's going to make himself ill again." I muttered.

Carlisle hugged me gently, "Did Bella mention it?"

I sighed, "She wants Charlie back, and I don't want the stress of it doing her any harm. I _know_ what it's like to lose a child and I don't want that pain for her, for _any_ of our children." I muttered and looked back at Bella, who was fluttering her eyelids open and closed, like she was trying not to wake up.

Carlisle sighed, "Are you sure you're going to be okay, I can phone in sick if you want..." He trailed

Off and I laughed quietly.

"I'm _fine_, just worried I guess, although not as much as Edward..." I trailed off and Carlisle frowned just as his pager went off again. I watched him as he pulled it out of his pocket and looked it over. I half expected it to be Edward, who had invested in a pager just so he could get hold of Carlisle at any time or place, most of the time I think it helped to calm his nerves, although sometimes I knew it just made him fret more, knowing it could go off at any time.

Carlisle sighed and kissed my cheek, "There's been an accident, they need me in, and I'll probably be back late." He said and rushed out calling and I love you as he went.

I smiled and waved him off before turning back to Bella who was slightly sat up with her hand over her mouth.

"Are you alright dear?" I asked and went to sat beside her, rubbing her back gently, anxiety colouring my tone.

She looked at me with wide and teary eyes, and I saw then tiny beads of sweat on her pasty face.

"Esme I don't feel very well." She breathed and I saw then the truth in her words, and the _fear_ in her eyes.


	66. Emotion of the soul

**Edward POV**

My shoes squeaked on the floor as I raced through the hospital corridors, I was going deeper into the emergency wing, winding past dunk and dying people, it sounded callous, but I ignored most of the grieving people completely, I was completely honed in on finding my wife.

I skidded to a stop just inside of the door to her room, where she was sting on the edge of the bed, Carlisle checking her blood pressure with his hands, his thoughts warning me not to over react. I was past listening to anyone tell me how to react around my own wife.

I had lost too many children and lost my wife too many times to risk it happening again, not if there was something I could do to prevent it.

"Bella." I sighed and walked further into the room, she smiled in half relief half expectance at me, and I knew she knew I was about to start.

"Edward I'm fine..." She started but I cut her off, turning to Carlisle and all but demanding an answer from him.

"Well, how is she?" I tried my upmost not the shout. Bella let out a warning hiss and Carlisle sighed, un-wrapping the pressure pad from around her arm and writing something on her chart as he spoke.

"This actually had nothing to do with the baby, it was all Bella, her blood sugar dipped slightly, that's why you've felt so tired, we'll put you on some insulin, but other than that there's nothing wrong with you." He said and smiled at her.

I was unsure what exactly to do, whether to feel relieved, or naturally concerned, so I just watched as Bella raised her eyebrows at Carlisle for conformation.

"So I'm _fine_." She asked, and neither I nor Carlisle missed the emphasis on her words.

He smiled, "you should be able to go home in about an hour, but you have to rest and eat a more balanced diet, not just when you feel hungry." He told her.

Bella rolled her eyes, "Three square meals a day?" She guessed.

He laughed and then glanced at me who was trying very hard not to punch my hand through the wall in frustration.

"I'll leave you to alone." He said and walked out, cautioning me with his eyes not to over react and get her upset, and I could tell form his thoughts that she had been frightened that she was going t miscarry and I wouldn't be there. I knew that he was editing, that she was as angry with me as I was at myself for almost being too late _again._

Bella sighed, playing with her fingers as she waited for me to say something. I never did, because I didn't trust my voice not to either turn into shout or break under emotional tension.

"Edward it's okay." She said quietly.

Just as I expected, my voice came out sharper than I intended it to.

"You could have been killed, or at the very least hurt, you know that?" I demanded, knowing I was over reacting; she'd just had a twinge, an internal sugar problem.

"Yes, but I wasn't so..." She trailed off.

"You can forget being left alone, even with Esme; you aren't taking a step out of my sight." I snarled, wondering what was eating at me so much, and part of me recognised the tears in Bella's eyes as the tell tale sign that I had upset her.

"Edward I know your upset but..." She trailed off and put her head in her hands, taking a deep breath and shaking her head.

"Just _please_ don't shout at me okay." She whispered and her voice broke.

I swallowed and unwrapped my arms from around myself and sat beside her, wrapping my arm over her shoulders and kissing her temple, rubbing her spine with the heel of my hand.

"I don't mean to shout I just..." I sighed, "I don't even mean to be over bearing really I just." I swallowed, "I can't bear the thought of ever losing you." I whispered.

She pulled me into a hug and kissed me gently, "I know Edward, its okay, I understand."

My wife took my hand from her hip and rubbed it under hers on her stomach, kissing my cheek as I looked down at it in almost wonder.

"I love you Edward." She whispered.

I smiled, "I love you to."

I was true to my word and never let Bella out of my sight for the rest of the day, she was laying in my arms on the sofa, her head under my arm against my shoulder, one of my hands were on her stomach, hers were playing with my fingers on that hand, my other hand was playing with her hair.

I was watching Bella as she played with my fingers, a small smile on her face as the baby kicked against my hand, but of cause she could feel it through my palm.

I kissed her forehead and leant my forehead against the top of her head, her head resting on my shoulder.

Anthony appeared in the room then, dressed to impress with a disgruntled Chris appearing behind him. Chris looked like he was against whatever Anthony was about to say, but he had been forced into it as much as I had a feeling I was about to be.

"Dad we're going out for a drink are you coming?" Anthony asked me.

I frowned, "Where are we going, is there a blood drive on, drain some OAP's..." I trailed off with a laugh and Chris bit his lip to keep from joining in as Bella elbowed me.

I sighed, "You think I'm joking."


	67. A need I dont deserve

**Heya, this message is for PURRADOX, I know you weren't happy with the reaction in the last chapter, but I left it like that so I could write this in this chapter, your non flame also gave me some idea for dialogue, so thank you, and I hope our happier with this chapter xx **

**Bella POV**

I folded my arms and watched as Edward drove away down the drive with Anthony and Chris in the back of the Volvo, after almost having to be dragged from the house to go n Chris's impromptu stag party. I sighed and turned to my daughter who was watching the television, painting Aimee's toe nails at the same time, Renesmee glanced at me and then back down again, knowing I was about to start.

"I don't want you leaving my sight?" I quoted Edward and ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

"It makes absolutely _no_ difference whether he is present or not or if I'm in his _sight_." I scoffed, "If my blood sugar is going to act like this it's only going to be made _worse_ by him over reacting and being on my case constantly." I snapped and flopped down on the sofa, hands on my stomach, glaring at the TV screen with such force I thought a hole would appear in the screen.

Ellie appeared then with her coat on and keys in her hand.

"I'm going to the club mum to work my shift, are you coming to sulk in your office?" She asked.

"Yes." I snapped, still mad and stood up to storm and grab my own coat.

As I sat in the car a small played across my face, I hoped Anthony had taken Edward to the club we owned, and I prayed that I had the liberty of serving him.

I couldn't wait to see his face if I did.

When we arrived I bee lined through my office towards the bar, earning a few looks of shame from a few of the school boys I employed, as they had obviously been talking about me before I arrived.

However abnormal it was for a teenage girl and her _husband_ to own a club that was running nearly three nights a week, we never heard any gossip about it, and after all, when we finished school, it was the fall back I needed to seem like I wasn't going to become a tramp.

After all, I had been pregnant three times that they knew about in my time at Forks high, and _no one_ expected me to get accepted into _any_ university or college.

I stood behind the bar and busied myself pulling pints, all the while only breathing in when it was necessary, there was heavy alcohol stench and smoke in the air, and regardless of what I was hoping to achieve by annoying Edward, I wasn't about to risk my baby.

"Mum what the hell?" Anthony cried over the music and his hands wrapped around mine over the beer pump form across the bar.

I looked up at him with wide eyes, "Anthony cut it out." I said and snatched my hands away.

"Dads going to go absolutely _mental_ when he finds out..."

"When dad finds out what?" A vice carried over the thudding music as it wormed its way through the crowd to stand behind Anthony's shoulder.

"Oh _please_ tell me I'm imagining this." Edward growled towards the end.

I swallowed and shook my head, "You said not to leave your sight, so here I am."

Edward's eyes furrowed so they were almost one dark mass under his eyebrows, "You know that's _not_ what I meant."

I slammed my hands down on the bar and glared at him, "Fine." I spat and turned and stormed to the end of the bar, worming my way through the crowd with Edward only a few paces behind.

I pushed through the front door and let out a breath as the cool hair hit my face, my hands fell to my rounded stomach, and I swallowed, the tears in my eyes.

Edward walked to stand directly behind me, his hands falling on my shoulders and running down my arms to my elbows, then back up again. He made the circuit three times before I trusted my voice to speak.

"You know that watching me all the time isn't going to make _any_ difference whether I fall ill or not. You can't control your blood sugar anymore than I can." I muttered at the end.

To my almost non surprise, Edwards response was sharp and to the point.

"The _difference_ is that I seem to want to make sure you don't fall ill, unlike yourself." He muttered.

I turned to look at him, "What do you mean?"

Edwards face hardened, "You heard what I said."

"No what do you _mean_ Edward?" I shouted and he didn't say anything.

"No you know what Edward, the _difference_ is that you spend all this time protecting me from things which you _know_ you _can't_, and you spend the rest of your time trying to make things better that again you _know_ you _can't_." I shouted and he froze.

"And then there are the times when we pretend that everything is fine, we lie to one another, because the truth is scary."I whispered at the end, tears rolling down my face.

Edwards face was like marble and he took a stuttering breath in, and when he spoke his voice was low and dangerous, but there was a tainted side to it, a tainted feeling of hurt and almost fright.

"And what is the _truth_ then Bella, if you're such an _expert_ on it?" He demanded in a cold voice.

I swallowed, "the truth is that we need to _accept_ the fact that being together for eternity is much harder than it used to be... than I thought it was going to be."

Edward didn't move, and I saw for the first time that he wasn't breathing.

"The humanity inside of our marriage is slipping Edward... and pretty soon... if we don't do something about it there's not going to be any left." I whispered, tears pouring down my face and a tight feeling in my stomach.

"Our marriage has lost meaning." Edward translated.

I looked down at my hands but didn't do anything other than stand there crying silently.

A pair of long white hands covered mine and his lips touched my forehead, before he took a step away from me.

I looked down at my light hands and gasped, watching as Edward slipped something small and gold into his pocket.

"Edward..." I gasped, "My ring what are you..."

He hushed me and shook his head, looking down as he spoke, his eyes trained on my stomach.

"I was never meant for you." He whispered, "I was never meant to covert you, to change you the way I have..."

The tears poured down my face and I wanted more than anything to run at him, to hold him tight to me, to make him stop what he was going to say, to keep him beside me.

But he was stuck a step away from me, because I was unable to move from my tragic position.

"I'm sorry Bella... I'm sorry for what I've done and I'm sorry, _so_ sorry for what you've had to do _for_ me." He breathed and his stone lips were suddenly on my forehead.

"Please Edward..." I sobbed quietly, "Please don't leave me, your all I have left... I need you..." I whispered.

Edward took a step away and shook his head, his fingers lingering on my jaw.

"You never needed me." He whispered, his fingers falling to rest gently on my stomach, so light I could barely feel it.

"Take care of yourself for me... you'll make it better than I ever could." He whispered, and then he was gone.


	68. Under the Surface

Anthony POV

I knocked three times, before deciding that enough was enough. I stormed in, now invitation as necessary, this wasn't vampire diaries. I could go where I wanted, and yell at who I wanted.

However currently, I only could think of one person, who deserved the infliction of the mood I was feeling.

I stormed through the house I had never ever been in, but had seen so many times in photos, and read about in the journals mum and dad kept, well more mums than dads, were all either hidden or burned, he was an immensely private person, which meant he tended to over think bad must things, which lead to him making decisions that were wrong.

I walked through the musty house, climbing the stairs to the room I knew I'd find what I wanted in. I opened the door to see a figure lying on the bed with one had behind their head, the other holding a small glass on his bare chest, legs dangling over the end of the bed.

I looked over the room and then at my father, his eyes on the TV which was stood with a cracked screen on a wooden chair.

Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust, and it seemed that my father's mood was almost as dark and deep with depression.

I sighed in almost frustration, "So you've finally driven to drink... _figures_."

Dad swallowed the rest of his drink and hurled the glass across the room so it smashed against the wall.

"Say what you want and get out, but it's not going to change anything." Dad growled and sat up, putting his feet on the floor and his head in his hands so his back was to me.

I let out a short frustrated breath, "Don't you even _want_ to know how she is dad?"

"No." He snarled loudly, "I don't care."

I was about to shout at him for being callous when I heard what he whispered quietly to himself.

"I _can't_ care anymore."

I swallowed, "She's dying dad." My voice was so soft it carried across the room, and even though my voice was weak, I knew by the way dad stiffened that he could see in my mind that I wasn't joking.

"What?" He growled so quietly I barely heard.

"She hasn't eaten _anything_ since you left, her blood sugars dangerously low dad, and granddad said if she doesn't eat soon their going to induce her to save the baby." I whispered.

Dad swallowed and shook his head, "Even when I try and save her I hurt her."

I straightened up, desperate tears in my eyes, "Dad whatever kind of sick doubt you have in your mind that you and mum have finished, that you can just walk away..." I trailed off and he didn't say anything.

"To be honest dad it's a heap of shit, you're so messed up in the head that you've managed to doubt yourself to not _be you_ anymore." I growled and he straightened up.

"You're right dad, you're not you anymore, you're a _joke_." I snarled and turned to walk away.

"I didn't raise you to be this weak, to come grovelling to me to make it all better..." He growled and I turned to see him facing me, eyes black with emotion and body tense.

"On going with the conversation we just had dad, you aren't _you_ anymore." I breathed.

He was in front of me then, pinning me against the wall under his arm, snarling balefully in my face.

"You think I like this, you think it makes me _happy_?" He snarled and I cringed, "you think I _enjoy..._ _depending_ on her like I do... that I _want_ to see her get hurt, because I'm not strong enough to be the human Edward act I was when we met." He trailed off and he stopped talking, although he was still pinning me to the wall.

I took a slow breath, "Renesmee and Chris cancelled their wedding dad, it's been two weeks, since you left, you haven't been at school, missing person flyers have gone up dad; you've been on the freaking news for Christ sake." I shouted and he shook his head, seeming to completely ignore what I had just said.

"My god dad you abandoned your family for Christ sake." I whispered, "You took yourself out of the picture because _you _decided that it was bad for you to be there."

"She cries dad, _mum_, you know your _wife_." I snarled and swallowed, "She cried and sobs your name and then she just lays there... and you want the truth dad, you want the _truth_ that you left because of in the first place..."

I pulled away and shook my head at him, "You run away from your problems because your frightened to care, because all the people you've cared for have either died r been taken from you, mums the only one who stayed."

Dad swallowed and I knew I was hitting the right mark.

I let out a stuttering breath, "you've never been shown _how_ to deal with your problems dad, because all you do is sort everyone else's out, without a backward glance at the damage your leaving in your own mind... it sneaks up on you... and then its like a waterfall, and you drown in it, like your doing now." I breathed.

"You need her to find the surface dad." I whispered and he looked at the floor, not meeting my eyes but hearing my words.

"If you don't put this right dad, and return to the family and start being a _father _again." I let out breath and turned to leave, looking at him over my shoulder sadly as I did so.

"If you don't be _you_ again, you're going to be under that surface forever dad" I whispered.

There was a short pause as he just stood there.

"I'll see myself out." I whispered and walked away from mums old room, down the sitars of Grandpa Charlie's old house and out towards the door.

I was reaching for the handle of my car when my phone buzzed; I looked at it to see my elder sisters name appear on the screen.

I answered it and sighed, tears in my eyes.

"It's no good he won't budge..." I trailed off just as Renesmee's sobbing voice screamed down the phone at me.

"Anthony mums missing, she's _gone_ Anthony, she's _gone_!"

**Heya guys, you need to review and tell me what you want to happen next lol, i only write for you, so come on, click the little button at the bottom. xx**


	69. Jacob

**Bella POV**

Love... a noun... an adjective... a _feeling._

Whatever you believe or know love to be, whatever emotion it builds inside of you, however it makes you feel inside, however it touched you, that is nothing compared to the feeling you experience once someone takes it away.

I'd given Edward everything, he'd shared, and we'd experienced enough together to make a saga of books. But when you can't admit what's right in front of you, when you're searching so hard for something that you miss the obvious.

When you over look things that no other people would ignore.

The truth hurts those who hide from it most. And I _had _hidden, as Edward had.

He'd made his choice, and I hadn't even been given the opportunity to make my own.

I groaned and huddled tighter into a ball, coughing against the dry feeling in my throat, and the hungry sore feeling in my stomach. The abbacy kicked against my pelvis and I moaned, blinking my eyes slightly but keeping them closed as the realisation dawn on me that I as much too comfy.

I didn't have time to dwell on it though, as a cool glass was pressed to my bottom lip. I drank hungrily, or rather _thirstily_, and took the glass in my hands, sitting up slightly with my eyes still closed, fingers folding around a pair of blistering hands.

My eyes snapped open the glass tightened in my hands as I started with gasping breaths into a pair of huge black eyes.

"Heya Bella." He said gently, and his wolfish grin spread across his face.

I stumbled backwards off the sofa, knocking over the table on the way past and backing up against the wall. My stomach was restricting my moments, and I was frightened for the first time in my life of him. I was frightened of my former best friend.

"Bella its okay...it's me... _Jacob_." He stressed and took a step towards me, his eyes almost shocked by my reaction. He continued to advance towards me as I turned my back on him and clawed at the wall, trying to rip open the door which appeared to be bolted shut.

I yanked at it and the tears continued to fall as I sobbed and listened to him walk up behind me.

"Bella please just hear me out." He said and his hand pressed the door over my head, clamping it shut. I continued to pull against it and I panicked, spinning and smashing my glass on the side of his head, before running around him and trying to find another door.

I ripped open the curtains and gasped at what I saw. We were in the middle of what I remembered as La push, but it was worse, so much worse than it had been before, because now the sun was shining.

I gasped and heard footsteps behind me as I slowly turned and swallowed.

Jacob chuckled darkly and wiped the blood from his top lip, "oh you're not going anyway."

I let out a quiet sob, "Please Jacob, whatever you want you can have it but just, don't hurt me please..." The tears were coming fast and my breathing was to shallow.

I swallowed as he hushed me and ran is fingers down my cheek gently, but the feeling they left was icy, despite the hot temperature of his skin.

"Why would I hurt you Bella, I _love_ you... I just want to talk..." He said and smiled at me.

I froze, "What about?" I whispered shakily.

Jacobs grin faded ever so slightly, and his eyes darkened impossibly.

His fingers danced own my arm to rest on my stomach.

"I want to talk about _this_." He breathed.

I pushed his hands away and went to push past him when he slammed me back into the wall, I let out a moan as my spine hit against the wood of the window ledge.

His grin twisted on his face, "You're not as strong as you used to be are you Bella... what are you now then, some kid of hybrid scum." He snarled ad his hand tightened around my throat.

I let out a gurgles and tired to pull his hand away by the wrist when I continued to stare at him with heard eyes.  
"I may be a half vampire... but I will _always_ be Edwards." I snarled.

Jacobs face went cold, "He's not coming to save you Bella, you know _that_ as well as I do."

I swallowed, "He left to protect me, although I wish it is you who would leave."

He slammed me back against the paint and I let out a cry of pain.

"I waited for you Bella, and I keep coming back in the hope that he'll have left again, I _told_ you that it was only a matter of time." He growled and I whimpered, truly quite terrified of him now, and what he was capable of... what he was contemplating _doing_.

"And now he _has_ left..." Jacob snarled in my face, "And if you think that I'm about to give up on you now Bella..." he chuckled darkly, "Well you're sadly mistaken."

"Jacob please..." I gurgled.

"No!" He yelled and smacked his hand down by my head against the wall, restricting my breathing even more. I moaned quietly but he didn't seem to hear me.

"It's my turn now Bella... _I_ will get to play happy families and the forever game with you, and he can sit and watch from the sidelines, as I did, wanting to trade places but not being able to..."

"So this isn't about love then, this is about revenge..." I sobbed and he pulled the back of my hair, dragging me behind him through the house.

"Love... revenge; I think you'll find the two aren't mutually exclusive." He snarled and through me to the floor, causing me to slide and hit my head on the corner of the wall.

I cried out and clutched the back of it, feeling as the pulsing blood stopped and the skin re healed. I sobbed and looked at him with watery eyes as he crouched down in front of me.

"I have enough time to make you change your mind Bella, don't think I'll grow impatient." He breathed, looking at me in a twisted kind of gentle way.

I swallowed and pushed myself up slightly, "You'd be better off killing me."

He didn't say anything so I carried on, sitting up and looking at him in disgust.

"I _don't_ love you Jacob... the more you hurt me the more points go to team Edward." I snarled.

His eyes narrowed, "Currently there inst an Edward's team to be on."

I swallowed, "Edward will come, and when he does... you'd better be ready."

Jacob frowned, "We'll see." He said and stood up, taking a step back before sitting against the back of the sofa facing me, his arms resting on his knees.

I swallowed and sat as far away from him as I could in the crowded room.

"This is what we all an impasse Bella." He said mockingly and I looked at him with hurt and teary eyes.

"You best enjoy it, because it's only going to get worse form here on in if you don't co-operate." He snarled, eyes sparkling as he reached into his pocket.

"And if I don't?" I asked shakily.

Jacob sighed as if he'd been hoping I hadn't asked this.

"I may not be a sparkling vampire, but I have other ways of convincing you." He said and flicked the thing he was holding, causing a long silver blade to snap out form the pen knife.

I pressed up tighter against the wall and shook slightly.

His grin got wider, his voice low, "Let's not test me... shall we?"


	70. Opinion

**Anthony POV**

I pushed open the bathroom door to see Renesmee stood facing the mirror running a brush through her hair. I said nothing and stood beside her, running gel through my own hair, her eyes kept flickering to me in the mirror before she finally spoke.

"Did you finish that homework for Mr Banner first period?" She asked, doubling up on trying to make polite conversation and fighting not to let my grades slip.

I shrugged, "it wouldn't matter anyway even if I _had._ I'm not coming in. I'm going with Uncle Emmet and Uncle Jasper in looking for mum." I said and checked my irises.

She sighed in disapproval, "If they find anything they'll tell us, that's what cell phones are for."

I frowned, "I'm not going to go and pretend to be a normal human when our family is falling apart, dads on some suicide depressed state and mum is god knows where..."

She turned to look at me pleadingly. "Ant they wouldn't want this."

"You know your lips are moving and I don't know why." I said firmly and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind me and picking my bag up on the way passed. I was intending to register for school and then go home _ill_. As well as that, unbeknownst to Ness, Chris wasn't even bothering to go that far; he had gone in early to wood shop, only to disappear again.

The irony of that was, Forks high didn't even _have_ a wood shop.

Aimee held her hand out for mine sadly and I pulled her into a hug, running my hand through the back of her hair as she held me around the neck and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"I heard your conversation with Ness." She said quietly.

I sighed and held her tighter, "Are you _sure_ that your not already a vampire?"

She laughed but it was half hearted, "Quite sure."  
There was a pause before she spoke again.

"They wouldn't want you to argue about it you know." She whispered.

I sighed, "We aren't arguing per say It's just..." I let out a breath and pulled out of the hug to run my hands up and down the tops of her arms, eyes focused on the belt of her jeans.

"We just have different opinions on what we should do to make it right." I said quietly.

Aimee touched my cheek, "She's just trying to stop us all from getting hurt... she's taken on your mothers roll, it's not that bad." She said firmly when my face twisted.

I sighed, "Yeh but if she bakes one more freaking lasagne I might actually kill her."

Aimee chuckled and touched my cheek, her eyes sad.  
"I take it today's gin got be another day where I don't become a vampire... have you even thought about _when_ you want to turn me?" She asked, and I knew she was trying to distract me, the really shocking thing about my wife and her lame attempt was, that it was actually working.

"I have thought about it... kind of." I admitted.

Her eyebrows went up in surprise, "Well that's a step up from _no_."

"Yet it's still a million steps off of _maybe_." I laughed and took her hands, rubbing my nose against hers before leaning my forehead on her own. I kissed her gently and she smiled sadly, I touched her cheek in reassurance.

"I can't be worried about you as a newborn with all of this going on baby I just..." I sighed when she hushed me, her face almost guilty. She wrapped her arms around my neck.

"They'll come home, and we'll all be back together again." She whispered.

I smiled sadly, "God I hope so."

**Edward POV**

Hours had ticked by, or could it have been days... weeks... _months_? Time had seemed to stop turning for me, and as the thought crossed my mind of months slipping by, I was almost crushed by the sadness that I had potentially once against missed the birth of one of my children.

Not that I had the _right_ to care or be a part of their life anymore. Not after all the pain I had inflicted on their mother while she carried them, all the times I had failed her and their siblings, and _after_ I had made the decision to be removed from her life forever.

I knew I was a selfish creature by nature when it came to my wife, but I wasn't about to change my mind, I had to much pride for that.

But surely, as my hand danced of the bed covers towards the silver device sat discarded on the end of the covers.

_Surely_ it was okay... _acceptable_, for me just to check she was okay, after all if it indeed had been months since I had spoken to Anthony, that new born baby was mine as well, it stored half of my DNA... it was half _mine_.

Divorced people spoke on the phone, people who would never speak in person with alot of pride issues could call one another, people with restraining orders were not stopped form phone calls... so why should I be barred from just hearing her say the word _hello_.

Not that I was acting that way, but I still viewed her as my primary reason for existing.

It was so hard to explain, to think through even in my own head. Although I _knew_, I had the _knowledge _set within me that I had walked away from mine and Bella's marriage, from my _family_ because I was frightened of the fall I was certainly heading for. The thoughts of getting sick again, from not being able to protect _any_ of them form my own father...

The thoughts of having to watch her leave me for Jacob; which if I was truly honest with myself... I knew was bound to happen at some point. Those thoughts terrified me, shook me to my core, and without having to sum them up in so many adjectives... I'd made a rash decision I now had to stick to.

My heart wasn't in being away from Bella... I needed her in my arms, I wanted to hold her, to take it back, to weep and beg, to grovel and sob and just _plead_...

But the thing was that I _knew_ she would forgive me, she always did, and then I would hurt her again, I would leave, and the cycle that haunted us would continue to turn.

"I just want to hear you, to know your okay." I whispered to myself, for who else could hear.

My fingers crawled across the bed and picked up my phone, placing it my ear as the rings and caller sound buzzed through my skull.

I had my eyes closed as it continued to ring, whether she was ignoring me or had just given up on her phone altogether I was unsure, not that I was privileged enough to even _care_ about that information any more, let alone _know_ any of it.

But my eyes snapped open ad I was bolt upright as the voice that answered turned me cold and hard, and _not_ in the way I was prepared and braced for.

I went hard as the phone stared to crack, and it took all of my self control, well what was left of it, not to crush the phone and burn its remaining fragments.

"Bella's phone." A deep rumble of a voice that genuinely haunted me sang... if devils could sing... down the device at me.

"Jacob." I snarled, and I was sure I heard a soft whimper in the distance on the end of the line.

"You're missing all the fun..." Jacob growled and there was the whoosh of air past the line, and noise that made my skull crack and my very soul shred.

My Belles agonised scream.

**Heya guys, so I've been fining it easier to write this so that's way you may notice frequent updates. If you're reading broken glass don't give up on that, it's still going on! **

**As always, leave a review, and happy Easter everyone ! xxx**


	71. When sorry's not enough

**When sorry's not enough**

**There's nowhere left to turn  
Too much to forgive  
Tell me where is the answer  
How do you find the strength  
The strength to let it go  
We need to just to leave  
When sorry's not enough**

**When sorry's not enough – From American Mall**

**(Link on profile (Girl is Bella, Edward is the boy))**

**Bella POV**

Edward, how could his voice be so close, but clouded in so much pain. And not the pain I was feeling, as Jacobs hand pushed me harder against the wall by my shoulder. There was no pain in the world I remembered feeling this long or this painful, even being turned into a vampire, which had lasted three days, had ended at some point.

The twisted part of this pain was, that I had no idea when... _if_ Jacob was going to relent in his torture.

"Speak to him; tell him how much it hurts." Jacob growled in my face, pressing the phone harder to my cheek, not in way that made me shout Edwards name and cry and plead for him to return to me, but in a way that made me cry out in pain, causing Edward to snarl down the phone.

"Tell him, _tell him_..." Jacob growled in my face.

"No Edward Don't..." I sobbed, more than sure that if Edward turned up here Jacob would kill him, I had _no _Idea how many wolves there were around wherever we were on the reservation, and I knew that no matter whether they were siding with Jacob or not, whether they _knew_ that I was here, it wouldn't take them long to attack Edward and my family if they crossed the boundary.

"Bella, Bella where are you?" Edward demanded.

I swallowed, tears rolling down my face and my body moulding against the wall as Jacob pressed me harder to it.

"On the reservation." I sobbed and I heard Edward snarl and grab something at the other end of the line, I didn't care what it was, I didn't even care if he came and got me and then left again, I didn't care if he ripped Jacob to pieces right in front of me, I just wanted him with me.

Jacob had the phone to his ear and was restricting my breathing with his hand once again.

"Don't you get it bloodsucker, it doesn't matter that you know where I am, where _we_ are... because I can be out of here with you still ten miles behind me." He laughed, laughed in Edward phone guarded line travelled face.

When Edward spoke, his voice was low and dangerous, and I could hear the wind rushing past the line as he spoke. Yet there was something in his voice, some twinge of mention that made me believe that once again, leaving hadn't been as good a plan as he thought it would be.

"It doesn't matter where you go Jacob Black, or how fast you run. The world isn't being enough of you hide from me." He growled.

Jacob laughed, "Oh yeh."

There was movement from outside and Jacob straightened as I was thrown from his hands and landed against the other wall, screaming the process. My eyes blurred open partially and I swallowed, wincing as I saw a dark figure loom over Jacob fallen body.

"Edward..." My breath left my throat in a long gasp, just as a frightened and high keening off howl filled the house.

**Edward POV**

_Bella_... I swallowed just thinking about her as I sat facing her where she was laying in our bed in the cottage. Our children were at school, and although Carlisle had been to check her over briefly, Carlisle and Esme and our siblings remained at the main house.

My knuckles ran down her cheek and she took in a stuttering breath, leaning into my flattening palm so my thumb could run across her cheek under her eyes. I swallowed and shook my head, the fear inside of me that when she opened her eyes, it would not be me she wanted to see.

There aren't words; there isn't an explanation that could justify my repetitive leaving as being okay... But that was just the point.

After a near century of insecure beliefs that Bella would leave me for Jacob, after a century and a half of feeling insignificant by her side, unable to give her all the love I was feeling.

Even though my heart was firm in her grip, and I knew I would never ever get it back so I could give it to another.

Even though my love for Bella was binding, just as my love for children was...

It was inevitable that I left... and I indeed now realised that it truly was for Bella's own good. Yes when she was human it was all too easy to leave to _protect_ her, but now she was half vampire, and she didn't need my over bearing state of safety.

I continued to leave Bella because she loved me too much, just as I did her.

The difference was that no matter what I did, no matter w oi hurt, no matter if it was _her..._

She would still forgive me.

I swallowed and watched as she breathed in and our safety, her ashen face turned slightly towards me, both her hands protectively over her stomach.

Saying I was sorry, for leaving, wasn't going to be enough, not for me... but the point was... the point in _leaving_, was for Bella to see the damage I was causing simply by staying.

The more I left... the more I pushed her to see how much I'd hurt her... the more she seemed to beg me to stay.

Consciously I couldn't leave, I simply couldn't. The more I thought it over, the more I needed her, I needed my children... I needed to be Edward.

But being Edward was becoming a full time occupation, I had no idea who I was anymore, I knew that I was till me, but my identity, my parenthood and changed, my linage and everything I thought I came from... was simply wrong.

If I could justify in my own head why I needed her to be safe without me, even if it crushed me every time I left... if I _could_ do that, if I _knew_... I would tell her.

I would tell everyone, and then I would leave for good.

My eyes cast down over my wife's face and I leant forwards to kiss her cheek, cupping the other one as I whispered in her ear as light as the wind.

"I'm sorry I let you down Bella." I whispered and lay down beside her, stroking her cheek as she rolled towards me and her stomach brushed against mine, I placed my hand on it gently, the baby kicking against my palm.

A watery smile crossed my lips and i kissed her forehead again.

No matter how much I hurt her, I would rekindle the promise I made when she was human.

"I'm going to stay by your side, as long as it is what you want, not matter whether I think its best for you or not." I whispered and kissed her forehead gently.

I didn't see the smile that crossed her lips, for it was so small I was half sure it was there, but I was certain when she spoke.

"You're talking about forever you know." She whispered.

I smiled and kissed her gently, "That's all I'm asking for."

"For now." She sighed and I held eh righter to me gently.

I sighed as well, "For now."

**Heya guys, so seen as some people aren't happy about what is happening in the story and seen as I wanted to take this somewhere new, after all, as you know when he hit one hundred chapters there will probably be a sequel.**

**So seen as I love you so much, I'm asking you what you want to happen.**

**Some serious Edward and family fluff and the wedding (obv)**

**More Anthony and Aimee or Chris and Renesmee fluff**

**Ellie gets a boy friend**

**Sped along to the baby being born**

**More drama**

**Edward falls off the rails massively, and I don't mean getting sick**

**You want to know what happened to Jacob, or what didn't happen**

**Let me know in a review, and the most voted will happen first, they all will probably happen, but I just wanted to know what you guys thought, after all, I only write to please you. Xx REVIEW WITH YOUR OPINION**


	72. What happened to you

**Heya so the feedback I got from the last chapter really impressed me and I'm really grateful to everyone who reviewed. So from the comments I got from the last chapter, you all voted for me two write something like this I think anyway... well, I've combined two of your favourite ideas, so here we go... Please REVEIW at the end. Xx**

**Renesmee POV**

I was sat curled in the arm chair as me and mum and dad sat around watching the TV. I was missing Chris badly, he had been gone all day on some college application errand, he was the last to apply to keep up the appearances we needed to give the school, and as such he was deeply in trouble of being sent somewhere far away from the rest of us, which wouldn't keep up the pretence we all needed as a family of secret full and half vampires and one werewolf.

Dad was sitting on the sofa, mum laying on it, her head in his lap, wrapped tight in a blanket, with her hand under dads on her stomach, the other between her temple and his thigh.

Dad looked down at her lovingly and stroked her hair. I sighed internally and tried not to think over dad leaving, he would only hear me, get tense and then do something stupid, there was no point being a part of the cycle, even if we all inevitably were.

His dark eyes looked up to meet mine and I shrugged as he sighed and leant back in the seat, his hand still running through mums hair, never missing a stroke as to disturb her.

The front doo opened and I looked up to see Chris walk in, a massive smile across his face and a wad of envelopes in his hand. I sat up straighter and looked at him curiously as he all but threw the envelopes at me and bounced up and down.

Dad sighed, muttering something about putting mum to bed before scooping her up in his arms and making for the stairs. I could hear mum grumble at him and moan his name when he hushed her and told her it was him. She was silent after that.

I opened the envelope and read it threw before looking at Chris like her was clinically insane.

"Is this a joke?" I demanded.

His smile faltered but only slightly, "No."  
I stood up, "Why the _hell_ would you admit yourself to become a cop? You don't even w_ant_ to be a cop?"

He frowned harder this time, "I've been thinking about it for a while actually..."

And you never thought to tell me?" I demanded.

He scowled and took the envelope from me, "Really it has nothing to do with you anyway, I just wanted you to know."

I growled, "If it has nothing to do with me why should I _care_?"

He glared at me, "Because I stupidly thought you might be proud of me... you know serving the community and all of that."

"but it's not that simple Chris!" I cried, "You don't _age_, we have to move every four years... what kind of _service_ could you do in that time?"

"Well maybe I'd prefer it if it was this simple, you ever thought of that?" He snapped.

I froze, "What do you mean?"

He took a stuttering breath, "I just want to be able to provide for you, to have a job, to have a future, even if it is pretend..."

I swallowed, "You do have a future." My voice was so quiet I couldn't really hear myself.

He sighed, "You're my only future, anything other than that is a lie."

"And I'm not enough?" I whispered.

His eyes turned dark, "Don't twist my words..."

I scoffed and looked him over darkly, arms folded and whole persona disgusted by the get out clause he was trying to fabricate right in front of me.

"What happened the man I wanted to marry?" I muttered.

"What happened to the woman who I _intend_ to marry?" He growled, of course having an answer for my rhetorical question.

"She grew up." I shouted, "As you need to."

His eyes went wide in blatant disbelief, "I'm trying to but you're acting _this_."

I scoffed, "Like _what_?"

"This!" He cried and gestured to me fleetingly, I rolled my eyes and he looked at me like I'd just proven a point.

I let out an angry breath, "You want to be a cop, be one I don't care." I growled.

"Good." He snapped and flopped down on the sofa picking up the remote and turning the TV on.

"Fine." I shouted and went to storm up the stairs.  
I turned on the stairs to shout at the back of his head where his eyes were still facing the TV away from me.

"You know what, be a motor bike cop... that would just make me ecstatic." I yelled.

"I'll get right on it" He shouted back.

I snarled and went up to our room, stopping in the door way to yell in his general direction.

"And don't wear a helmet." I shouted and slammed the door.


	73. Timing of a late saint

Anthony POV

I sat on the end of the bed, eyes staring forwards, my arms on my legs, not moving, not really breathing. Even though every time more air filled my lungs it felt like my chest was being ripped open. Pure rage burned in my eyes, although it seemed to almost be watered down with sadness. I swallowed and put my head in my hands, trying so hard not to cry, or at the very least not snap.

I heard the door shut and her walk to stand in front of me, fiddling with her hands, her voice quiet, and eyes down looking at her fingers.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

I shook my head, my face still in the palms of my hands, "You could have been killed." I said simply.

She swallowed and I thought I heard her nod.

"I know." She whispered.

I straightened up to look at her, my eyes pleading, "Why?"

She let out a stuttering breath and sat beside me, looking forwards as I did.

"I don't know." She breathed, and I didn't say anything after that.

I glanced up into the mirror that was hung on the wall facing us. It occurred to me then, that even though we were sat as husband and wide, not a foot apart from one another on our marital bed, it occurred to me that there was a rift present; a rift there hadn't been before.

I sighed and she looked up at me in the mirror, before back down again just as quickly, and I turned to look at her as I caught the trace of tears in the lower part of her irises.

I cupped her cheek and made to pull her face around to face me when she pushed my hands away.

"Please don't." She whispered.

I frowned slightly, "Why?"

She swallowed, "Because the hurt and disgust in your eyes... I can't keep looking at it, so please... just shout at me and let me beg for forgiveness and have done with it." She muttered at the end.

I sighed and wrapped my arm over her shoulders, kissing her temple as she leant into my side.

"You know why I'm upset right... why..." I trailed off, leaving it hanging in the air between us.

She nodded with her eyes still on her hands in her lap.

"You're mad because I snuck out of school to take some of Ness and Chris's wedding invitation to la push for his family, but what I don't get is why you think they would attack me, I'm _human_." She stressed, and I answered her question, without mentioning the topic of her mortality which I was so keen to avoid.

"It's because your _my_ _wife_, and I am dads son, dad killed Jacob which means that the wolves may be in a total ambush related mood, I was mad because they could have taken you, done god knows what, and I wouldn't have been able to anything about it." I sighed and rubbed my forehead, feeling stressed just at the thought of it.

She rubbed my knee gently, resting her head on my shoulder and sniffing quietly, "I'm sorry." She whispered, her breath filling my senses like the finest perfume.

I kissed her hair, "Your forgiven, just don't do it again." I scolded playfully.

She shoved me gently and kissed my cheek, nuzzling her forehead against my ear.

"Are you going to punish me?" She breathed and bit my lower lips as she pulled my face around with her palm so our lips met.

I growled playfully and pushed her back so she was lying on the bed, her arms and legs wrapping around me as my hands crawled under her shirt.

I was barely conscious of the door flying open before Aimee was pulling away from me and holding me tighter, her face and other parts of her body flushing, and I hoped it wasn't just out of embarrassment.

"Chris!" She screamed.

I glanced over my shoulder, face nothing short of livid.

"Dude you have totally bad timing, do you mind?" I demanded when he still hadn't left.

To my utter chock he just continued to stand there, trying to get his breath back. I was about to snap at him when he spoke, and then I froze, and not out of sexual tension like I was hoping for.

"It's Bella..." He said just as I heard dad's car tires in the driveway.


	74. Not enough

Edward POV

I paced the length of the hospital private waiting room in three long strides each way. My hands raking through my hair, eyes flat black as I waited, as time ticked by, even more slowly than it ever seemed to before.

It couldn't happen again... could it...?

I mean this time we'd been careful, okay I was on the verge of crumbling and just blaming myself for everything, and part of my soul, the soul my wife believed in, was very close to suicidal.

Bella had been rushed in for an emergency c-section not two hours ago, apparently there had been a placenta rupture, which is why she was bleeding and in a lot of pain.

My internal mental voice cracked at having to say the word, even though I was often more ready to dish it out than I was openly accepting to.

The door opened and Carlisle looked around the room for me, a small smile on his face when his eyes met my all but horror stuck face.

I was in front of him in a second, no real words coming out as i tried to demand information from him.

He smiled and patted my shoulder, his eyes not as reassuring as I would have perhaps liked them to have been.

"Would you like to see your son?" He asked.

My breath left me in a long gasp, "I have a son?"

Carlisle nodded and steered my by the shoulder towards the lift and up towards NICU. I swallowed as we washed out hands and prepared to enter, there were only a few times I had been in here and only once had I ever left with a healthy baby in mine or my wife's arms.

Thinking of Bella made my heart contract, and even though I felt ashamed for even thinking it, she almost left my mind when I was lead over to a small incubator, and Carlisle patted my shoulder, my eyes going glassy as I stared down at the small creature wrapped in wires and tubes, his name plate at the foot of the 'box', the surname telling me that he truly was mine.

I reached through the whole and ran my hand gently over his arm, he seemed just the same as all of my children when they were fist born, but when I thought it over, and felt the unnatural heart radiating form his body, I heard Carlisle walk closer.

"He's not healthy is he?" I whispered, eyes still on my son.

Carlisle sighed and I swallowed, knowing what he was about to say before the thoughts had even properly formed in his mind.

"He's very sick Edward." He whispered and I dint reply, fighting the urge to cry, and it was the strongest human emotion I had felt in a while.

"And Bella?" I asked, my eyes snapping up.

Carlisle smiled slightly, "She's fine Edward."

I let out a breath, "Well that's something I guess."

There was a beat of silence before Carlisle started his speech of _comfort, _I knew what he was trying to achieve, but as brutal as it sounded to hear him say it, I just wanted the facts, cold hard math.

"His blood sugar is very low, his organs are small because he's premature, and his skin hasn't matured enough in some places." He said gently.

I swallowed, eyes still on my son as I ran my finger up and down his tiny arm gently, with the lightest of touched, similar to how I used to always touch Bella when I as either hungry or stressed.

"He's not going to survive is he?" I breathed, so quit that I almost thought I had imagined saying my darkest thought out loud.

Carlisle let out a shallow breath, more out of practice than necessity.

"He can't breathe by himself Edward, there's not a lot of brain activity... it will take a miracle for him to recover fully." He told me gently.

I swallowed and he touched my shoulder gently, "I'll leave you to it."

And as I stood there facing my son, looking down a thin with dry tears in my eyes, not even breathing. I was aware of a pair of eyes on my back, although when I looked up, all I saw on the other side of the door was the corridor. I looked back down at my child, and he penetrating eyes returned.

**Review with what you want to happen! Xxx sorry if this wasn't what you expected or wanted, but I just thought you would like to know, there isn't going to be pregnancy for a while, I'm concentrating on a new story line now, one that needs Bella and Edward as physical normal teenagers. **


	75. Death

Esme POV

I pushed open the door quietly; sticking my head around to see Edward sat facing his wife, her hand tight in both of his as he hummed her lullaby as quiet as the wind. It was almost symbolic in a way, the way he sang it only for her. Not to be over shadowed by the fact that every few seconds it seemed to get caught in his throat, the lump of emotion choking him momentarily before he swallowed and carried on again.

I knew that he knew that I was stood there, and I knew that he was also aware of what I was going to say to him. However regardless of both, he never stopped, or even acknowledged me, he carried on, and it was only when I shut the door behind me and spoke, did I think that he really snapped out of his trance to communicate with me.

"Have you been to see him this morning?" I asked gently, not wanting to speak to loud to wake better, or shatter the fragile circumstance that was taking place within the family.

Edward shook his head, his eyes black and remaining on his wife's face, where she was laying on her wide facing him, curled into a ball, holding his hand tight in hers with half vampire strength even when she slept.

Her face was wet and sticky with tears that had been falling for the last few hours, since they'd been told that it wasn't looking good for their son, whom Bella had decided she wanted to name Jamie, after a lot of deliberation on her own part.

"Edward?" I asked gently, walking and putting a hand on his shoulder.

He swallowed and glanced at me before back down, "They want me to sign this release on his life support, he's not getting any better, and they want..." He swallowed, blinking the tears in his eyes that wouldn't grant him the release of falling.

"They want me to sign it saying that they aren't to resuscitate him for a period longer than twenty minutes if his heart stops beating." He sniffed and I rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry dear." I whispered.

He looked up at me, as my thoughts travelled back to my sharpest human memory besides of being changed, the one wear my own son died, just a few days after being born.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" He asked quietly.

I swallowed, acing to tell him that yes; it got easier to the point of forgetting...

But I couldn't lie to him, after all they ad lost children before, but I didn't want to dwell on that, after all Charlie was still missing, and Bella was becoming increasingly frightened when it came to her children and their whereabouts as well as safety.

I sighed gently, "I think you know the answer to that question."

He swallowed and put his head in his hands, "I don't know how much more of this I can take, an entity of losing our children I just..." He trailed off as I hushed him and rubbed his shoulder.

"You have her, and at the end of the day, you'll support one another." I whispered.

He nodded and I patted his back.

"Right now you need to go home, shower, and _eat_." I stressed but he was shaking his head before I could finish.

"I can't leave her." He breathed and we both looked back at Bella.

I gave him my best motherly look, "_Go_, you will be back before she wakes up I promise."

He swallowed but nodded after a moment of decision making. He stood and kissed her gently, before stroking her cheek one, and leaving the room in a trail of heavy depression. I sighed and sat down facing Bella in Edwards chair just as Carlisle walked in, and he seemed to be recovering from seeing Edward away from Bella more than anything.

He looked at me in confusion so I smiled sadly.

"I sent him home to eat and wash." I told him.

He sighed and checked Bella's chart just as her eyelids fluttered open. Her eyes set on my own before closing again, her voice as quiet as a breath and just as tired.

"Where's Edward?" She whispered.

I stroked her shoulder gently, "He's just gone home to change and eat, he will be back in soon."

She swallowed, "How... was Jamie..." She whispered.

I glanced at Carlisle as she looked at him with sad eyes; he smiled gently and sat down on the bed facing her.

"Did Edward tell you about what the consultant told him yesterday?" He asked quietly, and I warned him with my eyes not to upset her.

Bella nodded, "They want him to sign this thing about the life support?"

Carlisle gestured that she was correct with a motion of his head. He opened his mouth to speak when his pager went off. He seemed to have it off of his belt and checking the number before it rang fully for one time. He stood up and looked at me frantically before dashing from other room.

Bella's heart flew like a humming bird's wings.

"Is it Jamie, Oh my god is he okay...?" She sobbed and I hushed her, pulling her into a tight hug. She was dangerously close to hyperventilating

"go and see, see if he's okay..." Bella urged ad pushed me away. I nodded and rushed past a nurse, following Carlisle's scent up through the hospital towards the NICU. I stopped short in the doorway as I saw him and several other doctors stood around the bed, one pressing down repeatedly on Jamie's chest in a form of CPR.

Carlisle swallowed and stood up as the other doctor straightened, he spoke with a depth of emotion in his voice I had not heard for a while, and the words he spoke, threatened to crush me, as well as the people it would hurt most.

Carlisle took a stuttering breath, "Time of death, eight o seven."


	76. A Brothers comfort

**Heya guys sorry that I didn't update sooner but it has been an emotional week this week, so I haven't had enough time to. This is my apology chapter! REVIEW!**

Jasper POV

What possible monologue could have justified the emotion everyone in that wasting room was feeling? What could have even _begun_ to describe what Bella was experiencing?

What could possibly have put into words the sight of Edward and Bella stood looking over their son as he was removed from all the machines that had fought to keep him alive, even though they were unsuccessful, it just seemed such an easy defeat to label him as dead.

Had it been hours, _days_ since they had named him as such?

I was unsure, not that I really wanted to know. I suppose I just wanted to be able to put some kind of axis against us sitting there, the number of looks that were being exchanged between everyone, and the amount of times Edward had blinked through his invisible tears.

Everyone was just sitting there, watching Bella, watching as Edward sat holding her hand tight in both of his. She was asleep on her side facing him, her hair stuck to her face in some places with tears, and her chest quivering with sobs even when she slept.

How long had we been here? However long it was, it was enough time for Edward to reach close to one million blinks, although that didn't really help me, because at the rate of tears he was trying to get rid of, he could be blinking twice a second for all I could count.

"It's been three hours."

His voice was so quiet that I very nearly missed it but the wave of emotion or emotions that came crashing down around me with it, would have woken me form even the deepest metaphorical slumber.

Esme looked at Edward and swallowed, his eyes were still on Bella's sleeping face, but the burning hurt and pain in his eyes. It was of such concentration that I would not have been the only one in the room wondering if it would ever go away.

Edwards mind must have been dark, like the deepest ocean, it had to be, with the feeling in his irises. What could he be thinking, what memories could he be seeing?

Every hurt he'd given Bella, every time that he had failed her? Was it every injury and fall he had set himself up for? Or were it pure and simply the fact, that he was perhaps facing the one tragedy in his life that he was contemplating never having to walk away from.

Edward's emotions were pendulum, he was never balanced, he swung too far one way, and then sped to the other.

Edward was not whole when Bella wasn't, as though they were puzzle pieces that were bent.

Was I looking at the face of a man who would never be happy, who wouldn't let anyone help him. Would this be the lasting memory of my brother, would this be the turning point?

Edward stood without a word and slammed the door behind him. Bella did not stir as his hand left hers, or at the noise of the door hitting the wall.

I followed him, not meeting my wife's gaze as her eyes followed me, nor needing Edwards power to know what she was thinking. Her touch on my arm as I had risen from my seat was still tingling on my alabaster skin.

_Help him_. It had seemed to say.

Edwards trail of sent and despair led me through the hospital towards the car lot, where the ambulances pulled up with emergency cases. _A family tied stronger than blood_, the irony of the line Emmet had said at one of his many weddings seemed to sink in then, and although I knew what he said to be true. There was no way even the strongest of families wouldn't grow weak under what Edward and Bella had experienced over the years.

Even the strongest of us would crumble if they had to carry on their shoulders the burden Edward was bearing. Even though it truly wasn't his to keep, it wasn't his to blame himself for. Every one of us knew that he would.

He was sat in the pouring rain, leant against the wall of the hospital with his head in his hands. I took a step towards him, knowing that he knew I was there. I knew there was no way I could surprise him, but I didn't want to set him on edge either.

I swallowed and opened my mouth to speak, when I heard his voice for only the second time since _it_ had happened.

"Don't say you're sorry," he said it in a voice that was muted to a whisper, to my enhanced hearing, reminding me of when he would sing songs so slowly that even I could barely hear him. I couldn't think of a thing to say to him as he sat there, his face streaked with the rain that looked like tears and his emotions eating me alive.  
"Edward, do you want to talk about it?" It was, without a doubt, the stupidest thing I have ever said. I couldn't believe that I'd really said it, at last.  
"Not really. Dead is dead," He shrugged, his emotions still raged though, even though he had a cool, calm façade to make others think he no longer cared, he was feeling everything all at once and it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. This Pet cemetery stuff was bullshit.

Edward never had, and probably never would, feel like this. Dead was dead, my ass

I sat down beside him and watched as he didn't move, but continued to stare at the palm of his hands, like there was blood or a stain on them that he could not wash off.

"Edward you won't feel like this forever." I said quietly, in a tone that I hoped was a comforting as it was steady.

He shook his head before I even finished, his words trailing behind him as he stood off and walked back into the hospital.

"Yes, Jasper _yes_ I will." He whispered.


	77. The importance of being Anthony

**Hooray! a chapter preview is attached on the profile for this one, yes i am back baby! haha! **

Anthony POV

Mum was being discharged today. It hung in the air still, the death off my latest sibling, it hung around all of us, and yet although we were all desperately trying to remain normal and pretend like everything was okay... it wasn't much of a show.

Mum hadn't said two words to anyone other than dad, she clung to him like a small child and looked fixed to cry every time he left her sight or she lost touch with him. Dad hadn't hunted in three days, which wouldn't be so bad, if he wasn't such an emotional wreck anyway.

I almost chided myself at the last thought, who was I trying to kid? We were all emotional wrecks at the moment. I grabbed my school bag and waited at eh foot of the stairs for Aimee, as patiently as I could manage anyway.

Chris and Renesmee had already left, something about a wood shop?

I sighed when I heard moment in the bathroom but still no attempt from Aimee to come out.

"Aimee we're going to be late?" I shouted but got no reply. I frowned and sighed, walking upstairs after dropping my bag.

"Aimee come on..." I said and opened the door, but the rest of my sentence got lost as I saw her sat on the floor, arms wrapped around her legs in the foetal position, tears pouring down her face, mascara mixing with her hair.

If I hated one thing about everything, it was when m wife cried.

"Hey what's this?" I gasped and crouched down beside her, gently stroking her cheeks and looking her over anxiously.

"What's wrong, what hurts?" I demanded.

She shook her head and pushed my hands away, scraping her hair back off her face and taking a deep calming breath. I watched her anxiously as she took another deep lungful of air, but it caught in her throat and more tears poured from her eyes.

"Hey come here." I whispered and wrapped her in my arms, kissing and stroking her hair repeatedly to try and get her to calm down before I asked her what was wrong.

"I'm not pregnant." She mumbled into my chest, so quiet and muffled that I almost missed it.

I _did_ however; miss the point that she was trying to make.

"I know." I said as though I was either speaking to a child, _or_ stating the obvious.

She shook her head and pushed me away roughly.

"You don't understand, I'm _never_ going to be pregnant!" She screamed and rubbed her forehead as if she were heaving a headache, which I knew she normally did when she was upset.

"What do you mean baby?" I whispered, desperate to understand, and _desperate_ to make it all better, I wanted her to be happy.

"I got a letter from the doctor today, saying that my period has stopped because my fallopian tubes have collapsed, we are _never_ going to have kids Anthony, even though I'm not a vampire yet, and not even with your power, because I'm _incomplete._" She screamed and started to sob, and I longed to wrap my arms around her, but when I went to, she pushed me away again. Instead she curled tighter into a ball on the tiled floor, and sobbed into her hands.

"I never thought that having children was that important to you." I said quietly.

What the hell was I saying, I had _always_ known that she would want children some day, that she was counting on either falling pregnant naturally or my power to gain us a child, and I had _known_ also, just how much _I_ wanted a child.

"It's just with your mum and Jamie and your dad I just..." She sobbed and I rubbed her back with the lightest of touches. She shuddered but didn't pull away, so after a few minutes of soothing, I braved the move to speak again _and_ touch her.

"Baby you can't go to school like this, let's go back to bed..." I trailed off and she shot up, knocking me backwards and glaring at me, the tears still falling.

"To do _what_ exactly, have sex because its care free and danger less now?" She screamed.

"No Aimee I didn't mean..."

"No forget it!" She yelled and shoved past me, sobbing as she ran down the stairs and out of the front door. I swallowed and stood up, shouting her name and running after her but stopped on the landing.

At the bottom of the stairs was Aimee stood sobbing into dad's chest, his hands in the air like he had been surprised, she had her arms tight around his waist, like a daughter would hug their father.

_What happened?_ Dad mouthed at me. I swallowed and took him in a step by step account in my mind. He sighed and nodded, pushing Aimee off him gently and into my arms. She went willingly and almost numbly, like she was tired.

I swallowed and lifted her into my arms, kissing her forehead as I carried her back to bed. I lay her under the covers and got in beside her as we lay on our sides facing one another, her crying gently into my chest as I rubbed her back.

I blinked back my own tears out of my eyes, although they were evident in my voice.

"Let it all out sweetheart, it's okay... it'll be okay." I whispered.

She sniffed, "I didn't mean what I said... I just feel like I've let you down."

I hushed her and stroked her hair; "You know that that's not true... and in a few years, when you've been changed and got used to it..." I swallowed, sounding like I was now trying to reassure myself as well as her.

"We can try my power, we don't _know_ that it won't work, we can always _try_..." I trailed off when I realised I was crying and she was wrapping her arms around me while crying in my neck.

"Just hold me." She whispered.

I kissed her temple, "And I'll never let you go."


	78. The missing piece

**Heya, so I was a little disappointed about the number of reviews I got for the last chapter, but for the two people who did review, thank you very much. Xx**

**Bella POV**

I wasn't comfortable, I hadn't been comfortable in while. Wherever I was, if Edwards arms weren't around me, or if his hand wasn't in mine, I couldn't settle. There was a noise, growing louder and more alarming, as I tried to sink back into sleep. Although at some point I heard more noise, and part of my brain thought that maybe it would help to search for the person screaming for help that I could hear.

Whichever my brain decided on, that was how I was awoken up by the sound of my own scream.

Yet as my eyes snapped open and I took in the world around me, all the pain came flooding back, with a force that pressed on my chest so hard I felt like I was being crushed.

Suddenly strong arms were around me, pulling me into the sitting position in his lap. He ran his hands through my hair and rocked me gently, at just the right speed to soothe.

"Shush Sweetheart its okay, I'm here, I'm here shush." He whispered and kissed my temple.

I let out a sob and pressed my face into his chest, gripping his shirt with two hands.

My eyes were sore with tears, and my throat hurt from screaming. Somewhere in my memories my brain linked this to how I felt when Edward left, whichever time you picked.

Although now, even though Edward was here, a piece of me remained missing.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed and gurgled slightly on my words, sounding tired and drained, although the pain ripping its way through my chest where I was sure my heart had once sat, was threatening to pull me back under.

"Shush it's okay, try and go back to sleep sweetheart." Edward whispered and moved to try and lay me back down in the bed.

"No." I cried and wrapped my arms tight around his neck, not moving an inch. Edward sighed and kissed my cheek, lying down on his side with me wrapped around him like he was some giant comfort creature. He stroked my cheek as I rested my head on his shoulder, eyes open and tears brimming in the base of my vision as I played with his shirt.

"I don't want to close my eyes, I'll have nightmares." I whispered towards the end.

I glanced up in time to see Edwards face flicker with pain, although it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared.

Seeing this threatened to bring on a round of tears that I was sure would hurt Edward even more, so I tried to bury my face in his chest so they could pass. He stroked my cheek as my breathing deepened and I felt my chest go tight, making breathing near to impossible.

Edward had once described vampires as selfish creatures, and I now thought that half vampires may be even worse, for here I was acting like it was all me.

I was acting like it was me who was the one who repeatedly lost children and my soul mate, the one whose chest hurt every time she even _thought_ about breathing.

When the reality was, that everyone was hurting, and everything I felt, _Edward_ was feeling to.

Then worse than that, was that he was comforting me, instead of dealing with his despair and grief as he perhaps should have been.

But I didn't have the strength to support him; I could barely let him leave my sight without having some kind of breakdown. I was pathetic to a point, where I failed to realise the need to be strong anymore.

"I'll still be here when you wake up my love, right now you need to go to sleep." He whispered and held me tighter to him momentarily.

I swallowed back the tennis ball sized lump of emotion that was blocking my airway. "I love you Edward."

He kissed my forehead as my body clumped slightly further into his arms, "I love you to Bella, more than you'll ever know."

When I woke up my head hurt from crying, my throat ached and my eyes stung. I had only woken up crying twice last night, which was an improvement. When we had first returned home form hospital without Jamie, and the thoughts that he was really gone hit me, it had taken all of Edwards patience and devotion as well as company to get me to drift off to sleep in the first place.

I sat up in bed to see Edward watching me where he was still laying in bed. He rubbed my back gently as I let out a shaky breath, pulling my hair back off my face and doing my best to smile for him.

He smiled back, and I was sure he was using as much energy as I was to keep it there. We weren't really doing it for one another; we didn't have to pretend to be okay with it all, for we both knew what the other was feeling without having to speak.

"Are you okay?" He breathed and rubbed my back.

I swallowed and nodded, smiling slightly more genuinely, "Yeh."

There was a pause while Edward just looked at me like he was ready to comfort me if I burst into tears again. I took a moment to clam myself while he continued to rub my back and observe me, before i spoke whilst looking at my hands, eyes focuses on my wedding ring.

"I don't want to cry anymore." I whispered, "So..." I let out a breath, "I'm going to try and get back to normal, to be a better wife."

Stray tears began to leak down my face without my permission.

"Hey, hey now." Edward whispered and sat up slowly beside my wrapping his arms around me and kissing my neck.

"You don't have to pretend for me." He whispered.

I swallowed, "I want to get back to normal, I just... I don't want to forget."

Edward sighed sadly, pushing my hair off my face and cupping my face around so I had to look at him.

"We won't forget... I know we won't." He breathed and kissed my forehead gently.

I let out a shaky sigh and nodded, hugging him as he rubbed my back.

"Can we... Just for while at least... no more babies... not until we're ready?" I breathed.

Edward kissed my temple, "Agreed sweetheart."


	79. Not knowing

**Anthony POV**

I trailed Aimee for a few days, not wanting her to be alone, but not wanting to smother her. I was no good at being a husband, to me it seemed no different to being a boyfriend when you lived together, and this thought was the main concern in my mind that I just wasn't _doing_ it right.

I couldn't ask dad, he had enough to deal with when it came to mum.

Okay I was grieving and distraught over Jamie's death as well, and it was murder having to watch mum and dad the way they were.

But this couldn't have come at a worse time really, okay, there is no_ good_ time to lose a family member, but with Renesmee and Chris's wedding on what appeared to be a semi-permanent pause, and Ellie drowning her sorrows in Ben Barnes's salvia, and me and Aimee discovering we would never have any kids... everyone was finding it hard to cope with more than eighteen emotions at once.

It was like discovering what it was like to be uncle Jasper, and from what I had seen of it up to then, I didn't like it.

"Ant are you ready?" Aimee asked from behind me and I glanced up in the mirror to look at her form where I had been fiddling with the hairbrush for longer than I originally thought.

I nodded and she smiled at me before disappearing downstairs. I sighed and picked up my school bag, following her down the steps and out of the front door, more than surprised to see dad leant against his Volvo, mum stood facing him with her hips against his, their foreheads resting together as he murmured something to her. Their hands were interlocked by their shoulders and as I opened my door to climb into my own car beside Aimee, I picked up on their conversation.

I sighed as I listened to their words and drove away, wanting to put as much distance between me and the house.

The house that sadness built.

**Edward POV**

I trudged back into the house after another day of school. It was earlier to pretend like everything was okay when Bella was by my side.

I knew this was because I could focus on making sure that she was alright, that she wasn't about to burst into tears. When she was by my side, I could put everything into keeping her sane, rather than guarding my own sanity at the same time.

It was only when I was alone did I cry, did I want to rip my heart out so badly to try and find some release from it all.

When I was by myself I felt like I was dangerously close to being suffocated by the black emotion that hung in dense fog in the wings of my knife edge life.

I was reaching the point in my existence now, when I knew that my illness was coming back, when I could pre-empt it almost.

But this fog was not like that, all the damage that was threatening to be done, it wasn't physical. It was trapped within my skull, and was bubbling on the surface of my brain, causing irreversible damage to my sanity.

I threw my bag on the floor in the kitchen, cursing and slumping down on the sofa, putting my hands over my eyes and fighting back the tears. Crying wouldn't solve anything; in fact I was more than positive that it wouldn't even make me feel any better.

But they came anyway, without my permission, tears began t course down my face, and before I knew what was really happening, I was stood up, pacing about the house, crying and growling and throwing everything I came into contact with across the room.

I slammed my hands threw the mirrors that went up the stairs; I flung our bedroom door off its hinges and pulled the entries contents of out closet onto the floor.

And then, just like that, the emotion left me, like a gust of wind or letting out a breath.

I slumped to the floor against the wall, holding my head in my hands as I heard frightened cries for me downstairs, and someone fly up through the house towards me.

I didn't even breath as the remainder of the door was pushed out of her way, she called my name softly a she padded towards me, and gasped when her eyes fell on mine.

I swallowed back more tears and looked down at my hands. Sharp fragments of glass had been embedded in my solid palm.

Bella knelt down beside me, her hands hovering as if she were afraid to touch me.

"Edward what happened?" She whispered. I glanced at her before back down at my hands. For the first time in a while, Bella did not seem to be about to cry, she wasn't sad for herself now, she was sad for me, anxious even.

Maybe that was the only way to deal with this kind of grief, maybe if you were so in tune with one person, that their pain would numb yours, that by them being hurt, you were able to forget yourself, and become part of them, an out of body spirit perhaps.

It was just as I had always thought; the only way to make myself feel better was to hurt Bella.

Though I could not blame or hate her for wanting to do it to me.

"Edward?" Bella repeated and I sighed, well growled really.

My eyes focused on my hands as I spoke, pulling the fragments of glass out of my palms with sharp movements as I spat my words.

"I discovered what I always knew, that I'm a bad dad, that everything I do hurts somebody, and that I was never as perfect as you thought I was." I snarled and smashed my head backwards against the plaster, covering my face with my hands and snarling low in the back of my throat.

I hard Bella swallow, still not touching me, her body language unsure of what to do.

"What do you mean?" She whispered.

I swallowed and looked at her sadly, tears in the base of my vision.

"Anthony and Aimee, Renesmee and Chris, they're all hurting, and there's nothing I can do to stop it, Ellies the same, although I had to watch her get a tongue bath from a mental jackass." I growled and let out a low sob.

"I can't help anyone anymore, it's the same pain you and I feel and even though I long to make it all better I _can't_." My voice broke and I swallowed, "I don't know what to do anymore." I whispered.

Bella smiled sadly and sniffed putting her hands on either side of my face so lightly that I could barely feel her.

But when her skin came into contact with my own, I sighed and my features softened with her touch and my eyes closed.

"I don't know what to do." I repeated pathetically.

Bella thumbs carried my cheeks, "What would Edward Cullen do?" She breathed.

My eyes opened and I swallowed, because the really tragic thing was...

I _ really_ didn't know anymore.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Leave me a review with what you want to happen up till one hundred chapters, then all of you will have a review to leave with a choice to make.**

_**It all begins with a choice**_**... LOL!**


	80. Team Gamed AN Things get darker

**Renesmee POV**

I wormed my way through the crowd that was rowing in mum and dad's living room to find someone I _wanted_ to recognise. My hand caught Aimee's arm and she tuned to smile at me as she handed more of the giggling swarm a glass of punch.

"Aimee why are all these people here?" I asked.

She looked at me, a small smile playing on her lips, "For the bridal shower."

I raised my eyebrows, "Why would there be a bridal shower?" I asked.

She shrugged, "I don't know maybe because you're getting..."

"Married!" We both screamed together.

I hugged her tight and we jumped up and down together. We were both trying not to cry and Ellie joined in to, all of us gushing over my ring and the prospect of the upcoming wedding on Saturday.

I could barely eat sleep and do anything expect cry with excitement, as well as the worry that I would have to push the date back again, for one reason or another.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw mum set a tray of more punch down and begin to hand it out to the gabbling group of teenagers. She smiled and seemed to blend in, more than that; she seemed to fade into the background.

I walked towards her, fighting my way through the crowd. But I never got any closer, as my hands skimmed over her arms and shouted her name; she turned away with tears in her eyes. I ran harder when I saw who was stood behind her, wrapping his tan arms around her waist, mums arms wrapping over his to try and pry him off.

I screamed and sobbed her name, arms and legs pumping as Jacobs arms tightened around my mum's waist, one of his hands rising to lap over her mouth and jaw.

Mums hand s slipped off his as she tried to breathe. I watched in horror as her eyes rolled into the back of her head, Jacobs arms snapped around her neck and she crumpled, lying in a pool of her own blood at his bare feet.

I woke up to the sound of someone screaming, my own scream, which was growing hoarse in my throat as I sat up in bed, sweating with hair around my face like a mass of hay.

I gasped and sobbed and turned to my side, Chris blinking and sitting up, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest as I cried.

"Bad dream?" He guessed. He didn't really need to ask, I'd been having the same dream since we had announced that we had set another date, since Jacobs burnt out truck had turned up with blood over the seats in our driveway.

I nodded, "I'm sorry I woke you."

He hushed me and pulled me today on his chest, rubbing my back and kissing my hair as I gripped around his neck, feeling him pull the duvet over us further, not that I would get cold against his thermal body.

"it's okay just try and go back to sleep." He whispered just as the light flew on and there was a deafening boom from downstairs. In the same instant as we sat up the light started to flicker on and off, and Chris held her tighter, this wasn't a power cut, it was something else.

Downstairs there was a smash and grow and a voice echoed up the stairs from where the fuse box was in the house.

"All of you down stairs now."

I froze. I knew that voice, Chris did to, he wrapped his arms around me like fetters when I made to get out of bed to check I wasn't going mad.

"Don't move." Chris kissed through his teeth, eyes black and body tense.

I tried not to scream when the door flew open and the lights came on, I was dragged down stairs in blistering arms, sobbing and growingly at the wolf holding me tight in his arms.

We were led down stairs, forming a loose arc around dads desk in his study, we were all there, everyone even from the main house, being held against a werewolf's bear chest.

Mum was the only exception, standing in the middle, arms over her chest, looking around wildly, tears in her eyes. I couldn't see dad.

Das study chair, which had previously had its back to us, spun around, and I saw the person whose voice I had heard earlier, the persons voice and face I heard and saw in my dreams.

"Jacob." Mum gasped and took a step backwards, but the wolf holding Aunt Alice pushed her forwards again, causing her to stumble and catch herself on the desk.

"You were dead, Edward killed you." Mum growled, holding herself over her waist. I frowned watching her carefully, what was wrong with her, she was gasping for breath, did she know something we didn't? What had she figured out?

Jacob shrugged, "I can't be killed."

There was a stony silence.

"What"? Several members of the room gasped at once.

Jacob chuckled and walked over to mum slowly, her this time not moving, but her eyes never left his face. I looked round for dad, fearing the worst when he still hadn't arrived.

"I am a werewolf who hasn't imprinted, I am incomplete, and I'm not aging... until I do... _imprint_..." He chuckled and ran his knuckled down mums cheek, causing her to flinch and shy away from his touch.

"_Until_ then_." _Jacob whispered in her face_, "_I'm not going anywhere." He snarled at the end and slapped mum hard across the face with the back of his hand, causing her to crash to the floor, cringing into the stone as Jacob took a step over to her.

"Where's Edward, what did you do...?" She sobbed.

He sighed, "I should have known you'd mention _him_ I..." He started but was cut off.

"Jacob." A cold voice said from the shadows as the re figured loomed form the bay window at the back of dads shadowy roomed.

We all gasped at who we saw.

Aro's face twisted and his hand around my das throat tightened, Caius and Jane flanking him.

"An eye for an eye as it were." Aro snarled and threw my dad forward by mum, the gripped one another tightly and Aro stood beside Jacob both their eyes hard on the couple infront of them.

"There's no room for error this time, we both want only one thing, and the rest of you... well I'm sorry." Aro said menacingly and all of us braced as the wolves behind us held us tighter.

Aro looked at Jacob with an excited grin, "So Jacob, pick who you want for your team?"

Jacobs eyes fell on me," Her."

I tensed and was pushed forwards, behind grabbed by Jacob, his hand around my throat. To say Chris hated this idea was an understatement, but as mm made to get up, dad stopped her, and then Aro's words truly sunk in.

"Team?" I choked out.

Aro looked at me like I was missing something very obvious.

"Why yes, your going to fight one another... that way not _everyone _has to die."


	81. Time to say goodbye

Renesmee POV

We were divided into two _teams._ There was me, granddad, Aunty Alice and Uncle Emmet as well as Anthony on one team. Aunt Rosalie, Uncle jasper, Grandma Esme, Chris and Ellie on the other.

"We aren't fighting one another Aro." Dad said from where he was stood facing Aro in between both of our _teams_. Mum was being held by Jacob by two other wolves, and I could tell that half of dad's attention was away from his biological father and locked firmly on his enemy and his wife.

"You don't have a choice." Aro said firmly, looking at dad with disappointment and anger.

"Aro please..." granddad started when Caius's hand came hard over his face.

"Silence." He bellowed and Grandmas soft whimper carried across the room.

Mums face was streaked with tears, as was everyone's who still possessed the ability to cry. This included Aimee, the only other family member who was not stood in one team or another.

She was being held by Felix, his arms tight around her and his grip vice like.

I looked helplessly at dad who straightened up and swallowed, his eyes locked with Aro's and the other man took a step towards dad, knowing what he was going to say before Aunty Alice even did.

"Edward don't you dare." She half hissed half sobbed and dad sighed.

He looked at everyone sadly, his eyes locking with mums for the longest time; she sobbed and shook her head. He simply swallowed and turned back to Aro.

Dad extended his hand and Aro beamed sickeningly, causing my stomach to roll over.

Aro's palm touched dads, and there was tension so high in the room that I thought Uncle Jasper was going to lose it if it got any worse.

But there was no time to contemplate any of my feelings, because as soon as their palms touched, Aro's head had snapped up to look at dad with wide eyes.

Dad shook his head, "You should have known."

I could have sworn Aro swallowed.

"You don't have a choice." He repeated, but his voice sounded as though he was positive that dad wasn't bluffing.

Dad growled, "_Everything_ is a choice... everything we do..."

Aro straightened up, their palms still touching, "And that's the lesson you tell your children is it, the ones that make it past their fourth week being alive..." He trailed off when dads blazed and his jaw locked. Knowing this had touched a nerve, Aro opened his mouth to speak again when dad spoke quietly, but his voice carried, and the depth and reverence in it was so much so, that Aro's words caught in his throat.

Dad glared at his father, "It's the lesson my father taught me."

There was silence in the room as dad and Aro exchange a look that was worth a thousand words."

"You haven't listened to my warning Edward... they will die... you didn't listen." Aro started when dad cut him off.

"No _you_ listen, it's finished Aro, whether we are related or not you are _nothing_ to me, and you never will be. You don't understand love, and that will be you're greatest weakness, don't _you_ get it? You won't be able to kill my love for any of my family, you can't numb me into one of your guards... god knows I'm too far gone for that." Dad growled and everyone watched him, mums heart audibly hammering in her chest.

"You may as well kill me as well Aro, if that is your plan still, because you are _not_ taking them from me." He snarled and Aro's face hardened.

"This is your decision?" He asked and removed his hand from dads, as though he had forgotten they were still touching.

Dad let out a sarcastic laugh and shook his head, opening dark eyes to glare at his father, "I have the choice, and I am choosing them... not _you_." He growled and lunged forwards, hurling his father across the room so he smashed through the bay window and out into the garden.

At that moment everyone in the room seemed to share exactly the same thought. In unison growls and roars filled the room as everyone broke away from their guard, turned around and lunged.

I was so caught up in fighting my opponent, that it was only when a shrill scream pierced the air did I spin to see Aro over mums shoulder, where she was stood facing him, her back to me. She let out a gurgled gasp, then a sob. Aro's eyes glinted and then locked with dads, before looking back down to mum.

Hus hand tightened where it had been resting on her shoulder.

Five things then seemed to happen at once. His teeth appeared form under his lips in a sickening smile, his arm tensed, his had thrust forwards, something long and sharp appeared from the back of mums back, and I caught sight of a silver blade glinting in the light from behind her spine.

"No!" I screamed and dad roared, skidding to the floor beside mum where she had crumpled at Aro's feet. Her eyes were closed and she was losing a large amount of blood though the hole through her chest and back. The dagger, long and carved appeared from beside dad's arm where he was shaking her, trying to get her to open her eyes.

I put my hands over my mouth, tears pouring down my face as I watched. Aro chuckled darkly and took a step back, until he vanished out of the broken glass window. Caius and the ensemble followed, as well as Jacob remaining followers, those who weren't dead.

Jacob was nowhere to be seen. I knew he would have stayed had he seen mum fall... that he wouldn't have wanted to let her go. This meant he had not been present when the fight started, that he had run, knowing it was one blood bath he was guaranteed not to walk away from.

Of course none of us were guaranteed it. However unlike Jacob, we were willing to take that chance for one another.

For our family.

I looked around at our family, all holding one another. I was aware of the broken limbs on the floor, the smashed glass and dads sobbing of mums name as he growled and shook her.

I whimpered and Chris pulled me into his side.

"Why can't we just pull the dagger out, surely she'll heal?" Dad gasped suddenly in a broken voice, his hands holding mums face gently to keep her facing towards him and somewhat comfortable, although her skull flopped on her neck in-between his hands.

"That's not going to do anything Edward." Aunty Alice whispered where she was stood with Uncle Jasper.

Everyone looked at her and dad dint move, in fact I wasn't sure he was breathing.

Aunty Alice swallowed and looked at everyone sadly, her words a whisper of air from her lungs.

"It's time to say goodbye."

**I know it's been ages but please review, I am debating whether or not to wrap this story up in the next few chapters, and then ask you guys whether to do a sequel or not... or I could write one shots at the same time, but this would mean not updating this series of stories as quickly.**

**It's up to you, please review and tell me what you think.**

**I told you a while ago that this story would be sad, and it is going to be... I'm sorry :'(**


	82. Last goodbye

Renesmee POV

I couldn't move. I couldn't even breathe; it was only Chris's arms around me that were keeping me upright. The air was coming to fast and to shallow, and I was blinded by tears, and I was more than sure that I was shaking. I was also well aware that I was sobbing.

"Edward...?" Mums eyes flew open and I thought she was going to hyperventilate. She moved to get up but dad restrained her.

"It's okay Bella it's okay..." He tried to say firmly but he was on the brink of tears.

Mums head lolled in his hands, smiling through the tears and looking up at dad, then glancing down at the weapon protruding from her stomach.

"How is it looking down there, don't tell me that I'm beyond even Carlisle's amazing talents?" She laughed and whimpered when she moved.

Dad hushed her and stroked her face, "it will be fine we'll think of something."

"Well can we at least get this thing out of me it hurts..." She whimpered and gripped das hand tighter as she shifted slightly.

Dads eyes snapped up to look at Aunty Alice who shook her head quickly, tears in her eyes.

"Bella... Bella we can't take it out just yet." Dad sniffed and swallowed.

"Why...?" Mums eyes looked down at her stomach and then up to dad, "_Why?"_

There was silenced in the room and dad looked down at mums, tears silently falling down his face as she spoke whilst looking down at herself, his thumb still tracing her jaw bone.

"Will I die when it comes out?" She whispered and I swallowed back my own whimper. Chris's arm tightened around me and let out a stuttering breath.

Mum sighed and sniffed, looking at dad who was crying silently.

"We haven't got much time my darling..." She whispered and swallowed.

"We have _forever_ my love." He said firmly and kissed her hand that was in his, leaning closer so his face was looking down on hers, their hands tight together, his other running through her hair.

"I hope we have forever in heaven, because we didn't have enough time on earth..." She sobbed and smiled, "Not nearly enough time."

"We were busy..." Dad's voice was gentle.

"We were fighters and I'm proud... you _keep_ fighting for me Edward." She cried gently and he looked away from her, screwing his face up and letting out a small sob.

"I can't... we lost... I _can't_ fight without you..." He growled through the tears and she let out a soft breath.

"I would really love to argue with you but we don't have the time." She looked at him with such emotion in her eyes I felt my heart squeeze tight.

"Just promise me, that you'll keep fighting, for our children." She whispered.

Dad swallowed and they exchanged a look that was worth more than anything.

"I promise." He whispered and she smiled, tears rolling down her cheeks.

She let out a stuttering breath as dad kissed her forehead and she gripped his hand tighter, you could see both their hands go white.

Everyone in the room was crying.

But who wouldn't sob when they had to listen to everyone's last goodbye?

Uncle Emmet spoke of all the times that mum had fallen over, and that he was sorry he never got chance to get her back for that time she beat him at arm wrestling when she was a new born.

Uncle Jasper didn't say much, I think the emotion was to much for him. He simply said that he loved her for understanding him, for being patient, and for being his little sister.

Aunty Alice sobbed and couldn't say anything, other than that she thought it was all her fault. Aunt Rose was the same, and each of them kissed mums cheek and gave her as best a hug they could with the condition she was in, and the fact that she wouldn't let go of dads hand, and neither he hers.

Everyone's words were the same, constructed differently... even Aimee who was the only one who seemed to be able to cry properly.

Mum pulled me closer when I knelt down facing her and whispered in my ear.

"Look after your father for me, you're the only one who can."

I nodded and pulled back to kiss her cheek, "I will."

She cupped my cheek and then I stood, watching with a dead heart as she looked back at dad and he kissed her gently.

"Promise me another thing Edward?" She breathed and he leant forwards so she could breathed in his ear, but loud enough for us vampires and hybrids to hear.

"Let me go... move on... and become a bachelor... let me go." She whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Dad pulled back and shook his head, "_Never_." He growled.

A small smile played on mums lips and she cupped his cheek, "I love you, my husband."

He let out a stuttering breath, "I love you, my wife."

Mum smiled and ran her hands form down his chest to her stomach, No one knew what she was doing until her arms tensed, and her piercing scream filled the room, turning into a sob towards the end of it.

"Hush... shush its okay..." Dad whispered frantically and cupped her face in his hands, leaning take her slightly in his arms. Her own hand gripped his arm as she calmed down slightly.

She let out a stuttering breath and her eyes flickered open, lashed wet with tears.

"That's better." She whispered and her breathing became erratic, her chest pounded for a few minutes before it all left her in a big gust.

She went slack in dad's arms, and her head lolled in his hands.

He gasped quietly, "Bella?"

I couldn't cry, couldn't move. Aimee cried, as did Aimee, Aunty Alice, and Grandma Esme. But I was hollow, there was a hole in my chest as I watched dad, weeping and growling over mum's body.

My mother was gone, killed by Aro in vengeance for dad.

One of our own had fallen. We had lost the battle.

We didn't have it in us to fight the war.

All of us knew it.

**:'( So that's it! What do you want, please tell me so I can get to work writing it.**

**A chapter that leaves a teaser for the sequel.**

**A sequel straight from now.**

**Another different story**

**All three!**

**Let me know in a review... CATHERINEDONCASTER1995**


	83. An awakening

**This chapter is only short, because it is like the... **_**preview**_** for the sequel. When I decide to upload that, which will probably be soon. Xx RIP BELLA CULLEN VIDEO ON PROFILE (at the bottom, called chapter 81&82 preview)**

Renesmee POV

Mum was laid out in the family's tomb underneath the church. She looked so peaceful, the hole in her chest had been bandaged, and her clothes had been changed. She had her hands laying folded on her chest and her face looked serene.

Dad couldn't watch Granddad shut the door. But I was more than sure that he heard it.

The resonating crash as the stone hit the stone, concealing mum in a stone chamber that no one who wasn't a vampire could enter, well, they could get in if they could manage to lift the door out of the way.

It had been weeks, if not nearly a month since it had happened.

Dad had closed in on himself. He didn't go anywhere other than his study or his and... well just_ his_ room. We graduated from Forks High on the Friday, and on the Saturday dad was as he was.

The seat next to him had been empty, no on daring t sit beside him.

I sat on his other side, my hand tight in his.

Sometimes I caught him, especially in the mornings; he would sit with tears in his eyes, staring at nothing. I had taken to just sitting beside him doing the same thing, sitting crying silently.

At night Chris would hold me while I laid awake and cried, listening to Anthony and Aimee cry, listening to Ellie sob, and listening to dad... listening to dad do nothing.

Everything was falling apart.

Aunty Alice and dad couldn't be in the same room as one another... they just couldn't.

Uncle Jasper and Emmet found it hard to be anywhere near dad, which meant my father was getting more and more isolated from the family.

Anthony and Aimee barely spoke to anyone, including each other. Everyone moved around in their own little bubble, finding their own way to grieve.

But no one was coping, everyone was trying to... but not succeeding.

Ellie found comfort in the arms of any of the boys at school, and with only seven days until we would have to move to attend _college_, everyone was ignoring the issue that would surely arise when dad was told we had to leave mums body behind.

In older members of the family there was the fear that he wouldn't leave her. That he would stay here and leave us completely. No one wanted him to do that, but no one was brave enough to take it up with him.

The doorbell rang downstairs and I sniffed, rushing down the stairs to answer it. There was still the small part of me that hoped I would see her there standing beaming at me.

I took a stuttering breath, I knew it was stupid, but the ache longing as still there.

I pulled open the door, looking up at the man, or _boy_ who was exactly the same age as me.

"Can I help you?" I asked, it had been a very tragic week, and if this man was asking me to join some kind of cult or religion, I was going to hit him.

"You know me Ness." His voice broke and tears pooled in his eyes.

I gasped quietly, taking a step forward and reaching up to cup his cheek.

"Charlie?" I whispered and he nodded.

I gasped, and in the same instance, nearly fifty miles away, a pair of golden eyes snapped open, and a brown haired woman's back arched off of the granite table, her lungs filling with air as she looked around the darkened room.

"Edward?" she gasped and tears rolled down her face.

**A/N so there it is... new sotry up now, which is like all the out takes of my fan fiction, please read and review, first person to review gets a shout out!**


	84. The Final Chapter

**A/N this is the last chapter, please please look at my other story, the outtakes from this one. It has been up for a week and still has no reviews! Please review it as I have updates ready to go. This is the final chapter, so please leave a review and enjoy!**

Renesmee POV

Ten minutes.

That's how long it had taken for Charlie to be welcomed back into the family. He looked older than us, slightly older than dad. He seemed to have aged physically nearer to twenty one than eighteen like the rest of us. Not that anyone really cared, he was home safe, and everything was okay.

Dad flinched beside me and I rubbed his knee comfortingly. He took my hands and let out a stuttering breath.

I swallowed and watched Charlie where he stood before the family, bearing news I was certain that dad and the rest of us would keel over form hearing. There was one thing we all needed him to say; but the chances of the words actually leaving his mouth, were very few.

Everything was not okay. _Everything_ was far from it.

"Okay so I know about the dagger. While Zara held me captive she was so sure that I would never get free that she told me everything, to screw me up mentally I guess but I digress... she told me _everything_." Charlie said and his eyes locked with dads whose eyebrows furrowed together.

"And?" He asked carefully.

Charlie bit his lip and I felt my heart contract at the stricken resemblance he bore to mum through his actions. Not physically, _physically_ he was all dad, but in character, he was all _her_.

Again dad stiffened and I glanced at him apologetically, but he wouldn't meet my gaze.

"_So_ it means that I know who Zara was meeting that morning she left me in the house. I know who killed her sister Jay... and I know about the dagger." His words quietened at the end and dad stood bolt upright.

"What?" Dad snarled.

Charlie swallowed, "Aro killed Jay but Zara somehow got away, whether Aro kept her as some kind of pet I don't know but she's not dead. He had Jay bind the dagger with some kind of enchantment that can destroy a vampire or any mythological creature for that matter. He took it from her and then killed her. He was the one that freed me from my bindings in the house, but he and his friends were gone before I could ask any more about where you guys were." Charlie said quietly.

Dad's words were like Ice, "I know about the dagger, it's what killed your mother."

It looked like everyone in the room was fighting back sobs.

Charlie looked at dad like he was keeping something from him. Regardless of dad being able to read minds, it seemed that whatever Charlie was keeping secret, was staying hidden.

"Mums not dead dad." Charlie whispered.

I stopped breathing, and even those in the room who had to, froze like stone.

"What?" Dad gasped, but his face then hardened. "You just said..."

"I said the dagger could destroy a vampire dad, I never said it killed them." Charlie replied anxiously.

Dad growled, "There's no difference."

"There is a difference!" Charlie shouted, "It's the difference that means your wife isn't dead!"

There was silence.

Dad swallowed, "What is the difference?"

Charlie sighed, tears in his eyes. "The dagger unbinds the venom surrounding the brain... the thoughts and any previous memories will vanish, burned by the venom." Charlie's voice was so quiet I could barely hear him.

"Meaning what?" I asked quietly.

"Meaning she won't remember any of us..." Dad breathed and swallowed, turning to look at me sadly.

"It means that your mother has no Idea who or what she is... she's alone she's frightened and she's..." Dad coudlnt finish, he put his hands threw his hair before letting out a breath and straightening up.

"it means she's not my Bella anymore." He whispered and everyone in the rooms hearts broke at the same moment.

The moment when dad let out a small sob and he covered his face in his hands.

The moment when it all fell apart... and even though things should have felt better, they felt worse.

So much worse.

**OKAY SO THATS IT! I have the first chapter of the sequel ready to go so please leave a couple of reviews on the outtakes fan fiction and I will upload that, I know its cheeky, but I enjoy writing them!**

**Have a great day... CATHERINEDONCASTER1995**


	85. AN, trailer on profile

Heya guys, so if you look on my profile now you'll see my new story, the sequel, called ash night, and please continue to read and review the fan fiction out takes, there's a lot more where that came from. Xx Catherine xx


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